Sense Sonnet - Tickler

OxyMe

I'm superficial some folks say,
But just on the surface I think.
I oft get worried in a way
That I'm not drunk when I don't drink.
Intolerance I just can't stand.
Doubts about disbelief I've got.
I'm indecisive on one hand,
But on the other I am not.
I look out for conspicuous.
Non existence - there's no such thing.
It's "bleeped" up for me to cuss.
Just quitters do the rehab thing.

I really don't know who I am.
I. D. no identity - damn.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

Fruit Bat - LP Zoo

I'm a fruit bat. Guess what I eat?
I find a fruit and grab on tight,
Hanging upside down from my feet.
The two of us are a cute sight.
Fruit don't really mind me at all,
Cuz I'm a pollinator prime,
Dispersing seeds when I come call,
Revitalizing plant life time.
Call it a flora/fauna pact.
Flying at night I use my smell
Sniff out the fruit and make contact.
This serves each party very well.

To pollinate is a good use,
But it's more fun to suck the juice.

Sense Sonnet - Acher

Best Own Worst Known

For each of us who is alive,
The one sure fact is that we'll die.
During life's time, we each should strive
To live life well till death comes by.
The terminally ill do be
Able  to live life, knowing soon
Death is coming fast trackedly.
No matter how inopportune.
And then the dying hope to find
A loved one or stranger to give
The dying some true peace of mind,
Until death knocks, there's well to live.

Living love away pain and fear
Of dying, even as death's near.

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

Camel Come, Camel Go

I am the "ship of the desert."
Do you know why I am called one?
Because my legs are on alert,
Each side to go in unison,
To move on land like ship at sea.
Two toed hooved feet and I can go
Any weather and terrain be,
Awesome traveller - doncha know!
Thirty miles per hour I cruise,
Can get me up to sixty if
There is a race I just can't lose,
Or have to get there in a jiff.

Okay slowpoke, I'm gonna pass.
You humans - too slow on the gas.

Sense Sonnet - Chiller

Affluenza Diagnosis

A rich teenager driving drunk,
And he has driven drunk before.
This night he's more than just a punk,
He kills a family of four.
High priced lawyers convinced the judge
The kid was rich so had no blame,
Just needed therapy to nudge
The kid toward more productive aim.
The judge gave ten year probation.
Later the kid got in his car,
And while in drunk celebration,
Ran over the judge - so bizarre!

Justice is served in a dark sense.
Affluenza is no defense.

Sense Sonnet - Steamer

Oblivious to Oblivion

Obama the Oblivious
For oft saying he knows not,
Causing many righties to cuss
Stuff isn't going as it ought.
What is Obama s'posed to say?
That he's a lousy President?
Cannot let truth get in the way
Of rhetoric that's been well spent.
Elected twice by rhetoric
To fool enough to stick him in.
Lefties will not admit their pick
May someday prove a big no win.

Oblivious is all around.
We the People with it abound.

Sense Sonnet - Steamer

Santa Snow White

Santa Claus is white - doncha know!
Cuz WASPs way back created him,
Call it racist, but it's just so.
Why mess with him now  on some whim'
Santa rates kids as naughty or nice,
No rating on color of skin.
Each year now Santa pays the price,
Sleighing through crass commercial spin.
He's used and abused by the jerks
Who want to transform Santa Claus
For selfish gain - screw up the works,
For no good reason - just because!

Santa is what he is - he's white.,
Straight, fat, jolly and leaning right.

Sense Sonnet - Steamer

Vulgar Victory

The media in olden days
Censored anything thought profane
By censors who knew proper ways
To sanitize the human brain.
Expletives could be thought and said
In private but not public mode.
Then competition reared its head,
Cable, the Web there did explode
Profit hubs of indecency.
The youth are exposed to it all
Till old age and demented be,
And decency's still in downfall.

Vulgarity is on the sweep.
Soon all media will be "bleep."

Sense Sonnet - Chiller

Human Bling

Because humans like to show bling,
Rhinos are killed just for the horn,
Made into jewelry that does swing
From ugly mindsets skin adorn.
Demand is up, supply is down,
But humans will pay any price
To flaunt their trinkets around town,
Social statused by merchandise.
Rhino friendly E.T.s from space
Did role reverse this brutal game,
Humans as targets, time and place.
Bling - that's what the humans became.

I'm a show off rhino - look here,
A human skull around my ear.

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

Takes an Eternity

I die. I'm at the Pearly Gates.
A computer terminal's there.
User name and password awaits.
I click old ones - it says I err
I click the "Forgot your password?"
It says I will get an email.
Email says system down - absurd!
It's Heavendotcom - it can't fail?
I try again. The screen reads out
The alternate is hell's website.
I bet that system's up - no doubt!
Forget the heat, I'll wait for light.

I am stuck in a no web place,
In purgatory cyberspace.

Sense Sonnet - Steamer

Walmart Math

Doing the math on Walmart is
A current twist favorite of
Those libs against succeeding biz,
To pitch for more failing big gov.
Making profits is Walmart's goal,
And not just for the Walton clan,
But for a mass shareholder roll,
Including common working man.
Walmart employees are free to
Go elsewhere for a do math job.
But gov and unions rarely do
Help add on employees agob.

Do math, you libs who are so smart.
Add more welfare, subtract Walmart.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

Armstrong Golfer

I'm a golfing gorilla guy.
I can hit each ball long and straight,
Landing and rolling in good lie.
I might have been a golfing great,
But the game of golf is more than long.
Each hole starts off with a big bang,
Cuz I can swing so good and strong.
But when that first drive's over - dang!
Cuz then to short the game does turn,
And all my muscle goes for not.
Across the green, the cup does yearn,
Waiting for me to sink my shot.

Five hundred yards I can drive, but
The same thing happens when I putt.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

Kale Smoothie

Kale is a veggie, lots of leaves,
Clusters of green and varied hues,
Middle Ages fav most believes,
Easy and cheap to grow for chews.
Nutritious for humans to eat,
Rich in Vitamins K and C.
After frosted, kale tastes more sweet.
Many ways to serve edibly.
Thanks to the hand blender machine,
All sorts of foodstuffs are stuffed in.
Stuff kale and get a smoothie green.
Just don't dribble it down your chins.

Trendies are really into kale,
As a trendy smoothie cocktail.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

Who's Next?

Vincenzo Perrugia stole
The Mona Lisa from the Louvre.
Said 'twas a patriotic goal -
Return her to Italy move.
1911 was the year.
Italy rejoiced her reshift.
But then the hard truth became clear.
The Mona Lisa was a gift
From da Vinci to the French king.
So 1913 back she went
With her smile over the whole thing,
Amused by all the excitement.

Maybe she still awaits the time,
She'll star big in masterpiece crime.

Sense Sonnet - Chiller

To Vape or Not to Vape

The vape pen or e cigarette,
Is it really a safe "smoke" way?
Using water vapor to let
Into the lungs, nicotine spray.
Flavors like banana cream pie
Add on a new bonus taste twist,
Dessert with the nicotine high.
Many of youth just can't resist.
So far legal for youth to use,
And many have not smoked before.
So what could be the harm to choose
To vape away to be in more.

The latest fix for escaping,
How safe is it to be vaping?

Sense Sonnet - Acher

Bo and Nelson Mandela

The Prez came in and said to me,
"Bo, Nelson Mandela has died."
"From us and to the ages be."
The Prez looked very sad and sighed,
"Nelson Mandela's life inspired"
"My own life, when I felt through him."
"Humanity could be aspired"
"To overcome whatever grim."
The Prez left me and went to say
This to the world through instant news.
Nelson Mandela died today,
But his legacy - let's not lose.

Humankind can grow into good.
Nelson Mandela proved one could.

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

Bo and the Handshake

The Prez came in and said to me,
"Bo, Cuba's been on the "bleep' list,"
"Even before I came to be."
"Raul Castro, a communist,"
"Will be at the Mandela rite."
"I'm gonna run into the guy."
"Should I do charm or do a slight?"
"Cuba's bad but I don't know why."
Before I could bark out advice,
The Prez just did his own thing, and
Some thought too naughty, some too nice.
The Prez shook Raul Castro's hand.

My advice, the Prez did not do.
I advised to pee on his shoe.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

In Oz Believe

The Wizard of Oz - at the end,
Dorothy awakes in black and white.
Was her trip real or just pretend?
I and some others do delight
In seeing then a splash of red.
The ruby slippers are right there.
So not a dream, but real instead,
A magical but true affair.
Most others complain they don't see,
And I and those like me just smile.
If not believed then may not be.
I tell others - just look a while.

I see ruby slippers because
I believe in the Land of Oz.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

Gorilla Hand Carved - LP Zoo

The hand of a gorilla is
Like a human's, but stronger made.
The thumb is key to handy biz,
Indispensable finger aid.
Carving pumpkins on Halloween,
Humans don't have monopoly.
My Jack-o-lanterns can be seen
At Lincoln Park Zoo - and for free.
Granted, my carvings don't last long,
Cuz smashing pumpkins is so fun.
What good is it being so strong,
If some destruction can't be done?

Azizi, ace carver - no jest,
At carving pumpkins - I'm the best.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

Buttin' Bros - LP Zoo

The takin bros are buttin' heads,
Head of Mengyao, head of Xing Fu.
Sort of a "What's up?" said.
That's what Sichuan takins do.
The boys are not yet a year old,
But already three hundred pounds.
So heads up and lo and behold,
Such brotherly head butt abounds.
When the bros heads get out of joint,
Boys will be boys from time to time.
Four inch horns can sharpen the point,
Without having to be sublime.

Buttin' heads is lots of bro fun,
And two heads are better than one.

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

Blowworthy

I could just feel that it was there,
Just like a diamond in the rough,
Glistening ooze in such fat flair,
But getting it to come forth - tough!
I tried to pick at it to come,
But it held steadfast to its spot.
Big blast needed to pry it from
Its hiding to show its what snot.
And so the task I undertook.
I did ready and aim and fire,
And blew so hard the heavens shook.
Behold - object of my desire.

What a wonder when thar it blows,
Gem of a booger from my nose.

Sense Sonnet - Steamer

Big Cat Blues

I am a big cat in the wild,
Not too much to worry about,
Except humans who have compiled
Some conflicting motives - no doubt.
Most humans just want to kill me,
But some will track me far and long.
I feel a pinch and get sleepy.
When I wake up, nothing seems wrong.
But there's a collar round my neck.
Other big cats have collars too.
All of us wonder - what the heck
Are these humans trying to do!

In ev'ry big cat, one thing's known,
Humans just won't leave us alone.

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

Down Size

The horny lady saw the guy,
And he was wearing real big boots.
She asked him, "Hey, is it a lie,"
"Big booted men got other beauts?"
The guy just grinned and said, "'Tiz true."
"Let's go somewhere for privacy,"
"And I will sure prove it to you,"
"That all important bigs I be."
Later, a hundred dollar bill,
She gave to him. Flattered he said,
"Never been paid before to drill."
She paid for something else instead.

"Don't be flattered, cuz that's not it."
"Use it to buy some boots that fit."

Sense Sonnet - Steamer

Thankshopgiving

The first Thanksgiving, it is said
The Pilgrims had harvest subdued.
Native Americans brought food,
Giving people who had not yet
Come up with stuff like shop and buy.
If so, it's prob'ly a good bet
The Pilgrims would have not been shy
About going to wig wam mall
To buy on credit latest tech
Like drums to beat to make the call -
Reduced price now - oh what the heck!

Once started it will never stop.
Thanksgiving is a day to shop.

Sense Sonnet - Steamer

Ungun

Gun this, gun that, the news is filled.
The very mention of the word,
And mixed emotions be instilled.
Some are legit, some are absurd.
Perhaps we need a new word rule,
To use the word "gun" implies hate.
We should just call it a hand tool,
For its use to communicate.
A knife or hammer - yes can kill,
But other uses they display.
Destruction is all a gun will.
The "g" word needs to go away.

It is the p.c. will be done,
Scourge any word containing gun.

Sense Sonnet - Chiller

Shhh Koala

Koalas have a quite deep pitch,
So very low given the size.
So scientists just got the itch
To digging deeper for the whys.
Some koalas did "volunteer"
Their voice boxes for a look see.
Extra vocal folds did appear
Outside of the larynx there be..
Discovery that did excite.
Koala sound solved - a big deal.
The scientists expressed delight
In long and varied high pitched squeal.

Koalas - beware making sound,
When scientists may be around.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

Meigs

The U.S. Capitol Dome sits
Center Washington D.C.
A detail not well known was its
Source of foul feud 'tween domers be.
Tommy Walter, chief architect,
And Monty Meigs, chief engineer,
Wanted glory for the erect.
Amazing the Dome did appear.
The two bickered o'er each detail,
Conniving each to get the fame.
But fame grabbers so often fail.
But one did make a sort of name.

One name's all over the Dome there.
The name, "Meigs" is etched ev'rywhere.

Sense Sonnet - Chiller

The Fault of New Madrid

In Mississippi delta span,
From Cairo on down to Marked Tree,
Including rural and urban,
Lone farm and Memphis Tennessee,
All manmade that is built atop
A time and place for earth to quake.
When the New Madrid zone does pop,
Oh what hell that's gonna make.
Early 1800's was when
The New Madrid last shook all out.
Not too many humans back then.
Now a cast of millions - no doubt.

Will New Madrid quake more or less?
Earthquake experts can only guess.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

I Sonnet You

My sonnets make reason and rhyme,
Iamic tetrameterly.
Fourteen lines is plenty of time
To make the point from you to me.
If all communication made
Had to become sonnetized first,
The exercise would be an aid
To let the mind pick best from worst.
Anthing happening in life
Can be condensed to sonnet mode,
No matter how big joy or strife,
A sonnet carries any load.

I make sonnets for one and all.
Take them or leave them - that's your call.

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

"Mom, Are You Listening?" - LP Zoo

"Mom, let me come back in the pouch."
"I know you said you needed space."
"But that's no cause to be a grouch -"
"Make me a DCFS case."
"I'm just a helpless baby roo,"
"And you're kicking me out of home,"
"To run wild in Lincoln Park Zoo."
"Where all sorts of creatures do roam,"
"'Specially those weird humankind,"
"Waving lit boxes in abound."
"As a Mom, I would think you'd mind"
"That all these strangers are around."

"C'mon Mom, I went out to play,"
"But let me back in - whadya say?"

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

Flamingoing on Human Watch - LP Zoo

Did you hear the one about why
Does a human lift up one leg?
To be a flamingo - or try,
But badly and does lay an egg,
Or poor imitate so to speak.
We watch the humans exhibit,
Then spread the fun stuff, beak to beak.
Human antics just never quit
Ev'ry year at Lincoln Park Zoo,
We get first snow of the season.
The slipping, sliding humans do.
Here for laughs - it's their main reason.

One to another flamingo,
"Show time - let it snow, let it snow."

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

"Horse" of the Sea

Why did we get named the sea horse?
Our head and neck look equine
To name game humans, so of course
We go with it, or humans whine,
But now humans are catching on
That our head shape is made so
We can better pivot upon
Unsuspecting prey, doncha know!
And then just like a vacuum hose,
Mouth swinging and sucking sea food,
Down, down to digest - thar it goes,
Caught up in the moment and mood.

Call us sea horses, we don't fuss.
But just don't try to saddle us.

Sense Sonnet - Chiller

Bo and the Behind Enemy Lines

The Prez comes in and says to me.
"Bo, there are citizens from here,"
"Who voluntarily do be"
"In countries that have made it clear,"
"They really do hate the U.S."
"Some of our citizens do"
"Get detained and cause me a mess."
"Their families expect me to"
"Use my power to get them out."
"I called Putin, and asked real nice,"
"To send back Snowden, but that danm lout"
"Said nyet, and I've paid a price."

I ponder my planned travelogue.
Would Iran send back the First Dog?

Sense Sonnet - Steamer

Alexander the G...

What is greatness in time and place?
Greatness in past times was for will
To conquering the human race,
Sometimes by luck, sometimes by skill.
Alexander the Great got great
By such conquering and then got
Great coverage by history,
Something he prob'ly never sought.
Would Alexander be deemed great
Today for conquering so much?
More likely the pundits would rate
His sex conquests - who? when? how much?

History footnote by the way,
Alexander the Great was gay.

Sense Sonnet - Chiller

Knock Knock - Who's Out?

I am with the rest of my crew,
Playing the news named knock out game.
Who will play with me - maybe you?
What's a little mayhem and maim?
Knocker, I knock out you, knockee,
As I encounter you about.
It's as simple as it can be.
The object is to knock you out.
The crew and I do tally score
For demographics on each hit.
For certain types, the points are more.
Happen to cross my path - you're it!

I see you come walking down the street.
This is gonna be oh so sweet.

Sense Sonnet - Acher

Brian's Gone Song

Family Guy family dog,
Brian, is struck down in prime time,
Victim of the cruel ratings hog
That boring T.V. is a crime.
Brian's final bow wow words were,
"You gave me a wonderful life."
Gives Seth MacFarlane for sure.
To say thanks Seth sent the fans strife.
And what will the fans send Seth back?
Will fans just forgive and forget,
And keep Seth on his profit track?
Only takes one fan - real upset.

Seth MacFarlane, and this is no prank,
Hit and run on the way to the bank.

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

Selfie

"Selfie" is the word of the year,
The year two thousand and thirteen.
Self taken pic - oops missed an ear -
For the social media scene.
When a camera meets my face,
There is a click of destiny,
A me moment of time and place
That all the world just has to see.
Some selfies clever, most not so.
I am selfie made by design.
Mine is most clever - doncha know!
The dictionary must have mine.

Oxford English Dictionary.
My selfie pic must be therey.

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

Takin Talk - LP Zoo

A takin with something to say,
I don't need a soapbox to talk,
At Lincoln Park Zoo where I stay.
I just have to get on a rock.
Two toed hooves with developed spurs,
And amazing agility,
Some awesome rock climbing occurs.
Then what I have to say may be
Whistling sounds right through my nose.
When I feel sexy, I bellow,
So ev'ryone around me knows.
Bugle like snorts do sometimes go.

I'm doin' rollin' and rockin'
At the same time I'm a talkin'.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

Joey - LP Zoo

Time for this joey to peek out
And see what there is worth to see,
And what is all the fuss about -
Those humans trying to see me.
Something told me when I was born,
To crawl a ways on Mama's fur,
Into the pouch that I've seen worn
Around the milk machine for sure!
Here is what I've picked up to date,
Marsupial, sex not yet known,
Australian red kangaroo, mate.
Will stay in pouch until more grown.

Come and peek at me - peek-a-boo!
Peek at me at Lincoln Park Zoo.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

T.V. Love Lucy

She took the name Diane Belmont,
And went to Broadway with a dream
Of becoming star debutante,
Wowing on the theatre scene.
Hired a lot, but then quickly fired.
Producers did not deem her good.
A dashing of her hopes aspired,
She headed off to Hollywood,
To films as the "Queen of the Bs."
One film she dyed her hair bright red,
But so so show by biz degrees.
She went to young T.V. instead.

One of the most beloved of all.
T.V. was great for Lucille Ball.

Sense Sonnet - Acher

Legacy of Nelson Mandela

Nelson Mandela, freedom's good,
Became the heart, the mind, the soul
Of freedom for all humanhood,
No obstacle to stop that goal.
Fighting for freedom, imprisoned and then
Empowered to give free at last,
Reminder to the world again
That just one spirit can ignite
The fire for freedom that will burn
Away the wrong in flames of right.
For such freedom, we all do yearn.

Nelson Mandela died today,
But lives forever freedom's way.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

M.J. Fav "D"

Michael Jordan on basketball,
A Patrick Ewing anecdote.
The Knicks in the midst of a fall
To the Bulls, as Jordan did note,
In a '91 playoff game.
Jordan got in a screen and roll,
And then down the baseline he came,
Intensity of heart and soul.
And Ewing tried to block the shot,
But Jordan with ferocity
Did this one best ever he thought
Of all he'd done through history.

What was the thought that Jordan thunk?
It was Jordan's favorite dunk.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

Blueminesce

A parchment tube worm I am named
I make a tube of parchment sort.
Then into the tube I go, aimed
To live my life, be long or short.
Attached to coral reef marine,
Sucking in plankton for takeout.
All in all, a simple routine.
So that's what my life's all about.
But if I'm bothered from outside,
I produce a mucus bright blue.
Its lingering light fortified
By lots of vitamin B2.

Why be blue bioluminesce?
To match my don't have eyes. I guess!

Sense Sonnet - Steamer

Choose Spews

Hey, I am a celebrity.
I am famous and I am rich.
I have my friends and family.
But still I have the need to bitch.
I draw attention. People bug
Me just so they can do their thing,
Miscasting my voice and my mug,
To make me oh so maddening.
But the more mad, the more I sell,
The more famous and richer I get.
Life for me would really be hell
If no one watched me get upset.

Leave show biz - oh I threaten to.
But not something I'd really do.

Sense Sonnet - Acher

Fifty Years Later

November twenty second came
In the the year nineteen sixty three.
The nation would not be the same,
Forever scarred in history.
He was the U.S. President,
Young and handsome and full of life,
Witty and wise with good intent,
Cute small children, beautiful wife.
And then in seconds he was gone.
The world went darker it did seem.
Would all his hopes and dreams live on?
We the People - less hope, less dream.

That day that J.F.K. was shot.
Fifty years older - wiser not.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

MAVEN

Maven, an expert trustably.
So MAVEN - Mars Atmosphere and
Volatile Evolution be
Fit acronym to understand
Why the red planet's atmosphere
Seems to rise and is lost is space.
What makes the gases disappear,
Leaving Mars a cold barren place?
Is it a lost magnetic field,
Or effects of the solar wind?
Are there secrets that Mars will yield?
MAVEN journeys to comprehend.

Expert on Mars air has real worth.
The same fate could happen on Earth.

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

On the Ball

A golfer hit into the rough.
The ball landed on an ant hill.
The golfer swore some nasty stuff,
And threw his club as golfers will.
Then took another club and swung.
Lots of dirt and sand and ants flew.
But in the same spot the ball hung.
So then what did the golfer do!
Swung again but the ball still stayed.
Dirt and sand and ants flew instead.
The golfer hacked in a tirade.
One of the remaining ants said,

"I don't know about you ants all,"
"But I'm gonna get on the ball."