Sense Sonnet - Tickler

Marge

I made the cover of Playboy.
The signature bunny does hide
Some parts of my nude figured joy.
There's plenty more of me inside.
Why would a famous matriarch
Agree to be a centerfold?
My bite is better than my bark.
My bod is wondrous to behold.
And sharing it with all and one
Gives me a fresh stimulation.
Though the long T.V. gig's been fun,
I need more than animation.

Sexy by any other name.
Call me Marge Simpson. I am game.

Sense Sonnet - Steamer

How Pawsable!

The cops busted me for child porn
Found on my computer p.c.
I swore innocense - sworn and sworn!
But the cops did not believe me.
I told them that while in download
Of music, I'd left, then returned,
And watched my cat as fur ball strode
On the keyboard. Later I learned
Those paws had punched in a website,
And bought a bunch of nasty pics
With my credit card. 'Twasn't right -
Just 'cause I got that cat a fix.

For those of you that computer log,
If you get a pet - get a dog.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

Lucy

In early school, long, long ago,
A classmate had a crush on me,
And drew me in crayon to show
His girlfriend to his family.
Julian's father wrote a song,
Inspired by what his son had drawn.
Psychedelic image was strong.
So many thought the song was on
LSD as the words spelled out
In code. But no, John Lennon said.
The Lucy that he wrote about
Was a real little girl instead.

Me - with diamonds in the sky.
And now you know the reason why.

Sense Sonnet - Chiller

Black Aggie

Felix Agnus buried his wife,
And put a statue o'er her grave.
He'd mistreated her all her life,
And for that she never forgave.
The life size statue was where she
Took up residence late at night.
The statue was called Black Aggie.
Felix Agnus stayed out of sight,
For he heard tales of folks who died,
Near the statue their bodies found,
All their internal organs fried,
Ashes blowing about the ground.

Black Aggie's eyes - when they glow red,
If you see them, it means you're dead.

Sense Sonnet - Acher

Wall Flower

A wall flower has come to mean
A person who's an introvert,
And with others is only seen
As someone alone yet alert
To all that's happening about,
And really would like to join in,
But is too shy and scared no doubt,
So just falls back in still chagrin.
A wall flower person is not
Quite the same as the flower real,
That shuns the entire garden lot,
Seeking a lone wall niche with zeal.

A flower in a wall that's grown
Really wants to be left alone.

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

Mouse Trap Tickler

Colorado voters did vote
To amend their constitution,
Making it illegal of note
To use a trap of purpose done
To control a wild animal,
By holding a body part tight.
Guilt of such is punishable
By a prison term - not too slight.
So use of a common mouse trap
Is against Colorado law.
While humans are taking the rap,
All the mice are squeaking "hurrah."

No mouse traps; so back to square one
It's legal to use a shotgun!

Sense Sonnet - Steamer

Mouse Trap Steamer

For centuries we've been put down.
Build us better Emerson said.
He could have used another noun,
But no, he picked on us instead.
We've become staples of slapstick,
And used as goof props in cartoons
To play the role of dirty trick
In snapping fingers of buffoons.
We want to set the record straight.
A vital service we provide.
Because we were there with the bait,
Billions of tiny pests have died.

We mouse traps may not be perfect,
But we deserve lots more respect.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

Mouse Trap Pumper

A better mouse trap would be one
That did not leave a corpse behind,
That had to have further work done
To rid the mouse from sight and mind.
One day the transport from Star Trek
Beaming molecules place to place,
Will be reality high tech.
Before used on the human race,
Test first on mice with a mouse trap,
That's baited with a cheese array.
The mouse steps into it and ZAP!
The unharmed mouse is beamed away.

To a Disney World just for mice.
The Mickey Mouse trap - oh how nice!

Sense Sonnet - Chiller

Mouse Trap Chiller

Each night I take a piece of cheese,
And stick it on the mouse trap set.
Next morning, surely as you please,
There is the mouse the trap did get.
This is a nightly/daily thing,
And it is always the same mouse,
With a unique white star marking.
I know now that it haunts my house.
Strangely, I do not wonder why
I continue to trap the dead.
It is as though the mouse and I
Can't go and must stay here instead.

The ghost of the mouse I do see,
It looks back at the ghost of me.

Sense Sonnet - Acher

Mouse Trap Acher

It got to be cold outside,
So Mom and I found a new place
Where humans lived. We had to hide.
Humans don't like to share their space
With fellow creatures like we mice.
We tried to stay out of their way.
If discovered, we'd sacrifice
Our lives, so we hid in day,
And then scurried about at night,
Trying not to leave any clues.
But with humans, things don't go right.
When they discover us, we lose.

I heard the noise - a fearsome snap,
And found my Mom dead in the trap.

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

Intel Do Tell

British Intelligence is miffed
That top secret reports have leaked
Onto the Web. Fearing short shrift
If the matter was not critiqued,
The agency did a report
That provided in great detail
The ways and means that would support
Causing leakage attempts to fail.
Following this report's guidelines
To stop the Web leaks was required.
Noncompliance would mean big fines,
Prison terms, and most surely fired.

We know of this of which we speak.
This report on the Web did leak.

Sense Sonnet - Steamer

Golden Shower

The more that man goes into space,
The more human waste there will be.
Just recently there was a case
Of a bunch of urine set free
From a shuttle that was Earth bound,
And not wanting that extra weight.
I bet some studies would astound
As to the amount and the rate
Of waste matter that does pollute
All the layers of atmosphere.
As more of us fly up enroute,
The more we'll dump out waste, I fear.

Acid rain falling blows my mind.
Can piss pour rain be far behind?

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

Turn Me Down

I thrive on electricity
To send out signals of my love
To whoever out there might be
Within the detection range of
My invitation to drop by,
And check out the hot offerings
Of this true blue stud of a guy,
Who enjoys a lifestyle that swings.
Sometimes I'm bugged by bad and big.
I guess that's just part of the deal
That comes with the overall gig
Of being an electric eel.

So when I feel that danger itch,
I simply flip my dimmer switch.

Sense Sonnet - Chiller

Vacancy

There was something about the room
That troubled me as I walked in.
A feeling of impending doom
Gave me goosebumps on my skin.
It was an old motel that I
Stopped at while driving late at night.
Fatigue must be the reason why
I'm jumpy. I turn on the light
In the bathroom, and there I see
A straight edge razor laying there
On the basin beckoning me.
In the mirror with it I stare.

I watch me move the razor blade.
The blood from my throat does cascade.

Sense Sonnet - Acher

Surrogate Sadly

In vitro fertilization
Was what my husband and I had.
After the procedure was done,
We learned we would be Mom and Dad.
Two months into the pregnancy,
Worst news the clinic did present.
The embryo put inside me
Was another's by accident.
As hard as it will be to bear,
We choose to let this baby live,
And to be born in due time there,
Then to the parents, we will give.

So when this baby is born, I
Will say hello, then say goodbye.

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

Bugging the Masterpiece

The Mona Lisa painting has
To get a good check up each year,
And was awaiting just such, as
The museum folks did appear.
But with them came a big, fat fly
That took a liking to the art,
Landing right in Mona's right eye,
It's legs scratching the paint apart.
One of the museum folks took
A tissue, and tried to remove
The bug, but nervous, his hand shook,
And "splat" was heard throughout the Louvre.

The splattered fly guts trickled down,
And made the Mona Lisa frown.

Sense Sonnet - Blog Action Day

Watch My Step

I'm average in U.S.A.
Leaving a 20 ton footprint
Per year of carbon, studies say.
The all global equivalent
Being 4 tons annually.
I burn a bunch of fossil fuel,
Consuming wasted energy,
Daily breaking the Golden Rule,
Doing unto others' life sphere,
Damage that I can help undo,
Just by caring while I am here,
Wearing an energy wise shoe.

I ask myself what can be done?
My answer is it starts with one.

Sense Sonnet - Steamer

No Holds Barred

I'm in a hurry and I'm late,
But I need some info real fast.
Silly me for thinking that fate
Would give me quick service at last.
I call customer service, and
Get the computer voice that drags
Me through options that are at hand.
Upon punching all jigs and jags,
I get a human on the line.
"Can you please hold?" is what I get.
"No I can't," are words of mine.
Maybe fate will smile on me yet.

By customer service I'm told,
"Then please call back when you can hold."

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

From Bathes of Babes

A medieval time family
Took a bath only once a year.
One tub of water there would be,
Which started out hot, clean and clear.
Dad would be first, then 'twas Mom's turn,
And then each child, eldest on down;
As the water did swirl and churn,
Turning an ever darker brown,
Till at last the baby went in,
And needed to be bathed with care,
So that as dumping did begin,
The baby was still not in there.

That's how, "Don't throw the baby out,"
"With the bath water," came about.

Sense Sonnet - Chiller

Find Fault

They say my daughter I did kill,
When my 4 year old I did hurl
Off a cliff. Oh how they did grill
Me all about my little girl.
It's just that they don't understand
That parenting was hard on me.
It wasn't something I had planned.
The kid came unexpectedly.
They call me monster to my face.
How differently would they act,
If they found themselves in my place?
It's not my fault, and that's a fact.

Way down deep, I know what I did,
But I was just sick of the kid.

Sense Sonnet - Acher

Heard and Helpless

A passenger called 911,
And said the gas pedal was stuck.
Was there nothing that could be done?
The car was heading for a truck,
In an intersection real near.
Before the operator could
Say take the car out of drive gear,
The phone went dead, which was not good.
The car missed the truck, but instead
Went off the road and hit a tree,
Bursting into flames that spread
So fast, that rescue could not be.

An entire family did die.
A stuck gas pedal - that was why.

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

Please Pass

Thank you my dear for letting me
Eat my half of the dinner first.
You've been waiting so patiently.
Have some water to quench your thirst,
While I finish these last few bites.
I shouldn't talk with my mouth full,
But sharing with you so excites
Me each and all the time - no bull.
We don't have to have a lot.
The more we age the more we learn
How to share whatever we've got.
And now my dear it is your turn.

I saved your portion, never fear,
And here are the choppers, my dear.

Sense Sonnet - Steamer

Heads Up

A bunch of studies just came out,
That said that I am hurting you,
With spreading nasty germs about,
As you're beneath me and I spew.
The studies say that testing me
Is too costly to undertake,
And say that bleach turned out to be
Encouraging more germs to make.
So these studies did recommend
That you replace me all the time.
I spray pure tears - I can't pretend.
I'm being sold out - what a crime!

No matter what the studies said,
I am your faithful shower head.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

A One and a Two and a...

I got the news 3 weeks ago
That I was pregnant with a child.
Hubby and I were happy, so
We tried to tame the bedroom wild.
But, I guess that we overdid,
'Cause now the doctor's telling me
That there's turned up a second kid -
And not a twin. How can this be?
The doctor says it's very rare,
But ev'ryone should be just fine,
If I do my pre-natal care.
I did tell that Hubby of mine,

"Honey, this is my final word,"
"I need a rest before the third."

Sense Sonnet - Chiller

Dental Do Bad

I got a toothache out of town,
So went to a dentist I found
In the yellow pages. His gown
Was dirty. His eyes bugged out round.
I should have left, but was in pain.
He gave me laughing gas to chill,
And dosed me up on novacaine.
I was in a dream state, until
The dufus dentist dropped a tool
Down my throat, and was unaware.
His nurse at least did keep her cool,
And fished the gizmo out of there.

Doc was high on his laughing gas.
He won't laugh when I sue his ass.

Sense Sonnet - Acher

Wish Fulfilled

I knew my Mom and Dad loved me,
And had for all my 7 years.
We were a sharing family -
All the laughter and all the tears.
I often asked them why they'd not
Gotten married like the folks of
All my friends. I asked them a lot.
And they'd say what mattered was love.
I figured they knew what was best.
There was a bad car accident.
I was hurt much worse than the rest.
It was a 2 for 1 event.

I got my wish, even though dead.
At my funeral, Mom and Dad wed.

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

Aid and Abet

He said I had to go along.
He could not rob the bank alone.
He gave me that same old sad song,
He needed cash, no one would loan.
He wrote out the gimme loot note.
He did it with arthritic hand.
He put on his best hat and coat.
He picked me up. We went as planned.
He did the deed and stole the cash.
He's laying low now, and me too.
He made the news with quite a splash.
He's quite a guy at 92.

I helped the old fart rob the bank.
I'm a wanted oxygen tank.

Sense Sonnet - Steamer

Centsored

He was a penny pinching jerk.
My husband doled out cash to me
Weekly and would not let me work
For pay. He was so miserly.
One day I found his hidden stash
Up in the attic socked away -
Thousands of dollars there in cash.
It was now time for him to pay.
I spiked his coffee. He passed out.
I dragged him into the bath tub.
Then pennies I filled in about.
As he woke up he choked, "Glub, Glub."

When they looked for the cause of death -
The pennies took away his breath.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

Play Ball

Daddy took me to the ball game.
We went to watch the Phillies play.
While we were there, a baseball came,
Hit by a batter far away.
Daddy reached up and caught that ball,
Just like he does when we play catch.
I throw good, even though I'm small.
Daddy says that I am a natch.
I could tell Daddy was real glad.
So when he gave that ball to me,
I knew the reason that he had,
And threw that ball - hard as could be.

When we got home and watched T.V.
There was Daddy hugging me.

Sense Sonnet - Chiller

When and Where?

A church in Boston - they all came
To pay their final respects to
The senator. Most were of fame -
Political folks, old and new.
A presidential eulogy
Praised the life and work of the man
Who carried on the legacy
Of best and worst across the span.
Televised live around the Earth
For friend and foe alike to view
An opportunity felt worth
A 9/11 to renew.

The guided missile on its flight,
A church in Boston within sight.

Sense Sonnet - Acher

My Missing Child

She was my little girl of ten,
Going to school, waving at me.
A car pulls up beside her, then
She's jerked inside the car. I see
The car speeds off, and she is gone.
I call the police right away.
The investigation goes on.
And time just passes from that day -
One more statistic, one more crime
That goes unsolved, as time goes by.
I think about her all that time,
And can only ask myself - why?

Now my little girl reappears,
Held a sex slave for 18 years.