Sense Sonnet - Steamer

Space Out

Driving around the parking lot,
Trying to find an empty space.
With the price of gas, this is not
Putting me in a happy place.
I see this guy go to his car.
So I stop, waiting for him to
Drive off. But no - he acts bizarre.
He just sits there. What should I do?
I honk my horn. He flips the bird.
Getting out, I walk up to him.
Before I even say a word,
He's yelling at me. Very grim.

This guy is mouthing off at me.
So I stab him repeatedly.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

Aftershock

Struck by lightning, I did survive,
And I suffered no injuries.
I was lucky to be alive,
According to all the studies.
But shortly after the bolt jolt,
I discovered something quite odd.
Anything of batteried volt
Goes dead when exposed to my bod.
I guess one option would be to
Become like the Amish or such.
But otherwise, all that I do,
I have to watch out what I touch.

Guess it's better a battery
Be dead, rather than dead be me.

Sense Sonnet - Chiller

Flightmare

The jet liner was heading west
To Las Vegas. The flight was full.
I'd been trying to get some rest,
Dreaming of a winning slots pull.
I woke up hearing voices raised.
Some passengers seemed quite upset.
Attendants tried to calm the crazed.
We were hours late and the jet
Was flying over ocean blue.
Nothing was heard from the cockpit.
Some guys did what they had to do -
Smashed the locked door, breaking through it.

It was a dire sight to behold.
There sat the pilots passed out cold.

Sense Sonnet - Acher

Kidding Aside

When a parent's in public life
And is caught in scandalous deed,
Then both the husband and the wife
Can choose how each will then proceed.
But children of the parents are
Not able to so freely choose.
When the scandal's known near and far
And never disappears from news,
Kids have to grow up in the shade
Of shadows parents have cast out.
Just when kids think it all will fade,
The ugliness renews about.

We the children are the ones who
Pay for parents who are untrue.

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

Song for Jose'

Jose' was visiting from Spain,
And went to see a baseball game.
He sat up in nosebleed terrain,
But was excited just the same.
He could not believe how the crowd
Was so nice to a foreign guest,
Doing something that really wowed
Him over. He was quite impressed.
He told his Mom when he returned
About his trip, especially,
The baseball game, where he had learned
That fans did care if he could see.

"Mama, they sang a song for me,"
"Singing loud - Jose' can you see..."

Sense Sonnet - Steamer

Benedict Arnold

Before making his fateful choice
To work against the Yankee cause,
Benedict Arnold gave strong voice
And acts of daring without pause,
To serve the revolution's goal
To remove British tyranny.
But disheartened, he sold his soul
And West Point to the enemy.
The West Point chapel has a plaque
For each of the General's rank
Who fought and brought the freedom back.
But one General's name is blank.

Benedict Arnold is the name,
Missing, to note a traitor's shame.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

Herman's Best Friend

Michael Phelps, hero of the gold,
Olympian swimmer atop
Them all, for the world to behold,
Risen as the cream of the crop.
I know this guy better than all,
And could care less about his fame.
His ups and downs - I get his call.
First on his fav list is my name.
Nobody has his heart like me.
He knows that I am always there.
The one, unconditionally,
That offers him the most to share.

And who is this guru asks you?
I am bulldog, Herman, that's who.

Sense Sonnet - Chiller

Eating Disorder

I had not been feeling too well,
Having a lot of stomach pain.
Then my belly began to swell.
Something was wrong. That was plain.
I went to the ER and they
Took a lot of x-rays of me.
I was taken without delay
For immediate surgery.
When I came to, the doctor said
Soon I needed organ transplants.
Damage inside me was widespread.
Full recovery had no chance.

Sadly, the doctor did confirm,
I was eaten by a tapeworm.

Sense Sonnet - Acher

Sissy Fit

There is this faggot at my school.
Who thinks it's fun to shout out loud
That I am so hot and so cool,
And hung to make a porn star proud.
So now everyone thinks that I
Am making it with this fag creep.
In gym all I get is the eye.
The stress is making me lose sleep.
I've told the fag leave me alone.
He just laughs with those lipsticked lips,
And says that I am his very own,
And with his hand pretend unzips.

No more hassle. The fag is dead.
I took a gun and shot him dead.

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

Mow Show

My wife and I moved to a burb,
To spend our retirement years.
Having a big lawn was superb.
My new mower had souped up gears.
The grass was ready to be cut.
The mower was ready to mow.
On the seat, I planted my butt,
And round my kingdom I did go.
Nothing like fresh air and bright sun
To make a job more like a spree.
But my wife had to spoil my fun.
I could hear her yelling at me.

Sometimes my wife is such a prude.
Mad because I mowed the lawn nude.

Sense Sonnet - Steamer

Dealt a Blow

I have muscular dystrophy,
And need a wheelchair when I fly.
I had requested one to be
Available timely, so I
Could then make a connecting flight.
When there was no chair, the airline
Folks said if I hurried I might
Connect, but effort was all mine,
Since my transport was not their job.
I crawled down the steps of the plane,
But then my legs began to throb.
I asked for some help, but in vain.

I am so sorry, Delta Air,
That I chose you for travel care.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

Poem Power

The tale of Paul Revere some say
Was not quite like the poem said.
Poetic license taken may
Have stretched the truth a bit instead.
A William Dawes rode the ride too,
And did it quicker than Revere.
But "Dawes" had little rhyme milieu,
And would muddy the message clear -
The lone hero in noble deed,
Warning all of the countryside,
In valiant effort with Godspeed,
Becoming the most famous ride.

Paul Revere's ride - how do we know?
Because Longfellow rhymed it so.

Sense Sonnet - Chiller

Web Weaving Behavior

I snatch this old lady by force,
A nice, sweet grandmother of eight.
I tell the news media, of course,
The web site to watch gramma's fate.
She is bound naked to a pole,
Surrounded by heat lamps on high,
Frying her alive is the goal,
In full view of the public eye.
A little mind set test to show
How human curiousity
Will choose more to go with the flow,
The more there is depravity.

The faster you hit this web site,
The faster gramma burns up bright.

Sense Sonnet - Acher

Tormented

A fire killed all my family.
I guess I would have been dead too,
But I had snuck away to be
With a friend. My folks never knew.
When I got home later that night,
Fire trucks were all around the place.
My house was burning fiery bright.
They said it was a tragic case
Of a fire set by accident.
My Mom and Dad and brother died.
I am filled with guilty torment
That is eating away inside.

I'd lit a candle by my bed,
Then snuck out with my friend instead.

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

Angle

There was a king, blind in one eye,
Who hired 3 artists to paint him.
The first one earned the king's outcry,
Painting the blind eye true and grim.
That one paid the price with his head.
The second one tried to impress,
And painted both eyes fine instead.
The king thought this fake suck up ness.
Another head felt the king's ax.
The fate of his colleagues weighed, but
The third artist did face the facts,
And pleased the king, missing the cut.

He painted the king in profile,
Showing the good eye and a smile.

Sense Sonnet - Steamer

Name Brand

Apple and Audio Science;
Spec Wildhorse and Tiger Lily;
Godd'iss Love Stone and Pearl Sixpence;
Peaches Honey Blossom and Gee;
Maxie Crimefighter and Oh Oh;
Pilot Inspektor and Delight;
Jermajesty and Tickle Jo;
Memphis Eve and Light Up So Bright;
Star Light Melody and Dweezil;
Blue Angel and Red Riding Hood;
Poppy Honey and Bumble Bill;
Heavenly and Eversogood.

These names came from celebrities,
Branding their kids with "tease me, please."

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

The Great Escape

Somewhere in Europe, I was held
With other prisoners - all breeds.
The circus enslavers compelled
Us to perform amusing deeds.
For some time I planned to escape,
And try to make it home once more.
I exercised to stay in shape.
The chance came I was looking for.
My muscled legs kicked holes into
The cages we were kept penned in.
A Noah's Ark of us swarmed through
In all directions back to kin.

I escaped and had the last laugh
In Africa - a free giraffe.

Sense Sonnet - Chiller

Senseless

The roller coaster ride was great.
But my buddy was in a funk.
He's lost his best cap to the fate
Of flying up as down we sunk.
He was set on retrieving it.
I watched him climb over the fence,
Disappearing into a pit
Under the tracks. He had no sense.
I yelled at him, but only heard
The roar of cars upon the tracks.
The rest of it is kind of blurred.
I gave the cops all my known facts.

For a cap, my buddy is dead.
The coaster cars took off his head.

Sense Sonnet - Acher

Hard to Bare Up

I knew I'd be afraid to fly.
My skin was tingling something fierce.
In the bathroom, I took off my
Clothes. Pounding in my head did pierce.
Making my way back to my seat,
I saw that all the folks did stare
At me. I felt the rising heat.
It was too much for me to bear.
I tried to open up the door.
But by brute force was pulled away,
And forced to lie upon the floor,
Till landing later in the day.

The cops covered my nudity.
Putting a strait jacket on me.

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

Application in Inebriation

I got home as drunk as could be,
And fell down on the front room floor.
A back pocket pint of whiskey
Broke, and the pieces of glass tore
Cuts into the flesh of my butt.
So from the closet first aid kit,
I put some bandaids on each cut.
I woke up the next day and shit!
The cuts and blood were ev'rywhere.
But not one bandaid was in sight.
I thought I'd put them on with care,
And retraced my steps from last night.

The bandaids were not on my rear.
They were stuck on the hall mirror.

Sense Sonnet - Steamer

Golly, Dolly

She gives me that "Hi big boy" look.
Long blondish hair and oh those eyes.
My turning on temp starts to cook
Scenarios to womanize.
A body made to drive men wild.
Legs caressed in kinky fishnets.
Hands leather gloved - S&M styled.
A motorcycle jacket lets
Imagination stray beneath.
From the store window I do turn.
The sounds of traffic do bequeath
Sense to continue my sojourn.

'Tis to appeal or to appall -
This latest Mattel's Barbie Doll?

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

Name Change

I wanted God to know that I
Appreciate all that he does.
So in order to glorify
Him true, I changed my name that was,
To a name that would certainly
Get the quick attention of all
I met. I changed it legally,
First and last, to a faith name call.
As a school bus driver, I knew
The children would poke fun at first,
But then accept as children do,
Leaving adults to mock the worst.

The school kids brag they're getting bussed
By the driver, In God We Trust.

Sense Sonnet - Chiller

Falling Once, Twice...

We were at the edge of a cliff.
My buddy slipped and fell below
Onto a ledge. So in a jiff,
I got a rope, and wrapped it so
It was around a tree nearby.
With one end to my buddy tied,
Pulling on the other end, I
Slipped and fell over the side.
My buddy grabbed me. There we were
Both on the ledge. But with the rope
Still round the tree, it did occur
To us that there was still some hope.

That hope too, soon proved not to be.
Coming down at us was the tree.

Sense Sonnet - Acher

Bitten Abroad

I stepped on a bug in Peru.
The bite caused immediate pain.
But then the pain quickly withdrew.
So I decided to refrain
From seeing any doctor there.
When I returned to Canada,
I did go seek medical care,
Because my foot did become a
Bit swollen. I told of the bite.
They put me in an I.C.U.
My body is losing the fight.
There's nothing any one can do.

No Peru bug serum is why
The doctors say I'm gonna die.

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

Leg Go

Lost my leg in an accident.
But got a good prosthetic one.
And on with life with zest I went.
Went to sky dive to have some fun.
Made a grand leap out of the plane.
What a rush falling free and fast.
Excitement I could barely contain.
After allotted time had passed,
I pulled the rip cord for the chute.
As I was jerked up in the air,
I felt a rip in my flight suit.
Suddenly, something was not there.

Missing was my extremity.
Oh where oh where could that leg be?

Sense Sonnet - Steamer

Cross Hairs

An old man waited for a bus,
And couldn't help but steady stare
At a young man who made a fuss,
"Why are you gawking at my hair?"
The hair was at least a foot long,
And stood straight up in hardened spikes,
Making a vision quite headstrong -
Orange, red, yellow and green strands - yikes!
"Stop staring," yelled the younger guy,
"I don't like being a peep show."
Smiling, the old man did reply,
"No harm intended. But you know -"

"Cross a parrot with a shot gun,"
"And you surely could be their son."

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

A Man and his Can

Fredric Baur dreamed up the can
That contained the Pringle chips brand.
He told his children that his plan
Was cremation and then be canned,
When his chips were at last cashed in,
Which happened at age 89.
Honoring their paternal kin,
The kids went shopping by design,
On their way to Dad's funeral.
A can of Pringles they did buy.
The flavor was original.
His fitting way to say goodbye.

While the kids munched and mourned Dad late,
Canned Dad was buried in aisle 8.

Sense Sonnet - Chiller

Wedding Shedding

As to being a blushing bride,
I preferred to be tanned instead.
So weeks before the wedding, I'd
Done the sun in the tanning bed.
Each salon restricted the time
That I could have the tanning done.
So in order to reach my prime,
I hit ten salons, one by one.
When at last came my wedding day,
I viewed my body with a grin.
The perfect tan had come my way.
All would be dazzled by my skin..

As I was walking down the aisle,
I shed my skin like a reptile.

Sense Sonnet - Acher

In Water's Way

It was my dream house that I built,
Perched so proud on the river bank.
I won't cry over rain that spilt,
Or curse lots of blankety blank.
I always knew there was the chance
That the water would take away
The wood and welcome of my manse,
But hopefully, just not today.
Then that day of reckoning came.
Heavens opened, the river rose.
I felt a sadness, but no blame,
As the final chapter did close.

A big splash, and that's all she wrote.
Down the river, my home did float.

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

Will on Congress

Will Rogers watched the Congress be,
And then reported the large lack.
Taxpayed trips in grand luxury -
Too bad the Congressmen came back.
Congress in session oft turns out
Like a baby who gets a hold
Of a hammer. Without a doubt,
A disaster, but who to scold -
The one who hammered up the mess,
Or who elected to allow
The "babes" in Congress to excess.
There, the joke's on us, anyhow.

"Folks think that I just make wise cracks"
"About Congress. I just state facts."

Sense Sonnet - Steamer

First Impression

I've just arrived and all I hear
Is numbers on my baby face,
And where it might just first appear.
The bidders are all in a race
To be the winner of the prize
To sell my pictures round the world.
This rush comes as quite a surprise
To one whose face was just uncurled.
If this is how strangers do act
With all this goofy fuss and fume,
I want no part, and that's a fact.
Just put me back into the womb.

It's a crazy life style so far,
Being the newborn of a star.