Sense Sonnet - Pumper

 Sidecar

A U.S. navy captain in

World War I went into a bar,

Was on leave for the whole day then,

Parked his motorbike with sidecar.

Told the bartender to prepare

Half a shaker with cognac pure,

The other half in equal share

Of lemon juice and orange liqueur.

Shake well and pour into a glass.

And thus this cocktail came to be.

Rest of day my captain did pass

In the bar and drinking down me.

My "sidecar" name did come about

As where my captain did pass out.

Sense Sonnet - Chiller

 My Happier Ending

After I had poisoned Snow White

There were false reports that I died.

So I report to my delight,

Snow White failed in my homicide.

Inside my magic mirror I hid

As Snow White and her Prince were wed.

Then those seven dwarves I did bid

With money bribes to kill her dead.

A look a like Snow White, I fooled

The Prince and all coming on scene.

This fairy tale queendom I ruled.

Again I was the evil Queen.

Happily ever after I

Live as Snow White, don't tell my lie.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

 Hans Brinker, Hero

A young Dutch boy, Hans Brinker,

Did stick his finger in a dike.

Plug a leak thought the young thinker,

And hometown hero was this tyke.

This tale was told in the U.S.

Causing U.S. tourists to go

To Holland, and the Dutch to press

Where to take some pictures to show.

And so the Dutch did come up with

Dutch boy and dike statues and such

To sell Americans this myth,

Giving revenue to the Dutch.

Hans Brinker, the hero Dutch lad,

Lots of tourist profits be had.

Sense Sonnet - Steamer

 Moss Girl

For St. Patrick's Day I did dye

My long blond hair the color green.

Triple contents I did apply

To be sure to get a bright sheen.

In hindsight too much dye no doubt,

My hair looked like a plant instead.

I tried but could not wash it out,

And I was stuck with a green head,

Looking like a tree habitat.

For St. Patrick's Day was okay,

But afterwards I tried a hat.

Months later green still on display.

My hair's still a tangled green curl,

And I am nicknamed the "moss girl."

Sense Sonnet - Chiller

 In Pursuit

It was the worst day of my life

When I went home a happy man,

And found a scoundrel with my wife.

When they saw me both of them ran,

But I caught them and with pure hate

I calmly killed the two of them.

And now today is too my fate,

For society does condemn

Me to death for killing these two.

But execution won't stop me.

For I know just what I will do,

Keep killing them eternally.

The hate for them does still compel

Me to follow them into hell.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

 Take a Dive

Winter's over, the weather's nice.

Off to the nearby lake I go,

Where the water's now without ice,

And the beaches are without snow.

In hardly any time at all

I'm at the edge of the lake shore.

The gentle waves to me do call

To enter as I've done before.

Wading into water is me.

Kicking my feet and I float out

To where I know success will be

At my favorite spot no doubt.

Time for some fishing to begin,

And so this eager duck dives in.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

 Paddington Bear's licks Fix

Paddington Bear in a hurry

Accidently dropped something which

Nosy neighbor, Mr. Curry,

Slipped on the marmalade sandwich.

Seeing Mr. Curry sprawled out,

Paddington returned to give aid.

Mr. Curry unharmed no doubt,

But was covered in marmalade,

And was upset with his soiled suit.

So Paddington assured that he

Would clean the garment resolute,

And just like new the suit would be.

Neighborly was Paddington Bear,

Licking Mr. Curry with care.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

 Good Found In Dirt

Too much inside are kids today,

Watching too much some high tech screen,

And not going outside to play,

Fresh air and sun and plants of green.

And outside lots of dirt be found

To romp upon and dig into.

Where there's dirt there's nature's playground

For kids to think fun stuff to do.

The more contact with dirt there is,

The more kids' bodies build up with

Protection for germ fighting biz.

Science proves this is not just myth.

For kids, more of a help than hurt,

Go outside and play in the dirt.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

Dressed for Easter

Out of an Easter egg she came,

Chicklet, the little chick who be

Without a bonnet, what a shame

Thought her friend, the Easter Bunny.

So Easter Bunny hopped into

A garden full of blooms of spring,

And then Easter Bunny did do

For Chicklet chick a lovely thing.

An Easter bonnet, colors bright

Of flowers and ribbons that filled

Chicklet chick with lots of delight

Having her head so finely frilled.

Indeed this Easter bonnet made

Chicklet chick hit of the parade.

Sense Sonnet - Chiller

 Shocking Experience

The funeral is going fine,

With many friends and family.

Never thought I would attend mine,

But conscious of it I do be.

Electric shock by accident,

Knife in the toaster, I was toast.

Collapsed onto the floor I went,

Watching myself fall, now a ghost.

From home I was rushed to E.R.

But all revival attempts failed.

Then off to the morgue, not too far,

Saw what an autopsy entailed.

Next stop, cemetery plot where

I guess I'll be well grounded there.

Sense Sonnet - Chiller

 Gotta Be Careful

With my boyfriend on the subway,

Looking ahead I make a smile

Over something that he does say.

Watching me from across the aisle

Some guy thinks that I'm smiling at

Him, and I quickly turn my head.

Sometimes I'm just forgetful that

Innocent smiles sure have misled

Some strangers to strangely conclude

That such must mean love at first sight,

And the smiler should be pursued,

Often causing the smiler fright.

My boyfriend and I leave the train,

Glad that that stranger does remain.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

 And the Winner Is

St. Patrick's Day, a contest be,

Collects the most shamrocks does win.

So very excited is she,

Deciding that she'll enter in.

Putting on a bright green top hat,

Matching well her pretty green eyes.

In her forest home she knows that

She has a good chance for first prize.

Because she knows just where there grows

Lots of shamrocks waiting for her.

And to that secret spot she goes,

Happy St. Patrick's Day for sure.

First prize for the most green shamrocks

Is little sweet patty the fox.

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

 Night Fright

Countless children be filled with dread

From beginning of time till now,

Of the monster under the bed,

While children try to sleep somehow.

Most childrens' bedtime is at night,

So then is when the monster does

Be under the bed causing fright,

Scary as scary ever was.

Then next morning the children wake.

All monster fright does go away.

Other plans the monster must make

On what to do during the day.

The monster under the bed be

During daytime watching T.V.

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

 The Lugubrious Wife

A lugubrious look the wife

Has, meaning her face looks sad,

As she's watching the rain in strife.

And it is raining very bad.

But lugubrious I am not,

Watching out the window the rain.

In fact a cheerful look I've got,

As I look at the wife again.

Ever since the raining did start,

Lugubrious looking the wife be,

As the two of us stared apart.

She looks sad and cheerful looks me.

The wife does scowl as I do grin.

I suppose I should let her in.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

 Liger

I am a liger, offspring from

My tiger Mom and lion Dad.

Such parenting let me become

The world's largest cat to be had.

Over one thousand pounds I weigh.

A length of twelve feet I extend.

I have Mom's stripes which I display.

I have Dad's roar which I do send.

Like Mom, I'm in water a lot.

Like Dad, I tend to socialize.

Very strong leg muscles I've got,

And run quite fast for my large size.

Product of planned parenthood, true,

Cuz Mom and Dad met in a zoo.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

 Funny Pages Wedding

Li'l Abner and Daisy Mae,

He was a hunk by her pursued

In hometown Dogpatch, U.S.A.

Young'uns caught in a fam'ly feud,

The Hokums and Scraggs 'twixt and 'tween,

Which ends in 1952.

Life Magazine cover page scene,

Both of the young'uns say, "I do."

The wedding ceremony came

By comic strip readers' demand.

But one who thought this was a shame,

Al Capp, creator of the brand.

Capp continued their married life,

And the work was done by the wife.

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

 Period of Indecision

Two artists, Salvador Dali

And Pablo Picasso do stroll.

Each of them had plans that a folly

Befall the other as his goal.

They walk along a rocky shore.

The ocean waves do pound below.

A sneaky shove is what's in store,

And over the edge one will go.

Competitors in abstract art,

A lot of ill will 'twixt and 'tween.

Each wants the other to depart

Forever from abstract art scene.

But nothing happens to the two.

Reality, neither can do.

Sense Sonnet - Acher

 Cutless

When I first came onto the scene

I was the sharpest of my set.

On the cutting board I cut mean.

Get the job done good I would get.

But over time with wear and tear

And chopping every day a gob,

My cutting edge no longer there,

And could not cut it on the job.

No longer used but I still stayed,

Not to break up the set I guess.

So with the others I displayed,

But so dull for me I confess.

Not the sharpest knife in the drawer,

I sure feel pointless anymore.

Sense Sonnet - Acher

 The Killing Sounds

What's causing self beaching of whales?

Inquiring minds do want to know.

There are more and more such sad tales

Of whales onto beach sands do go.

Many researchers believe that

New and strange underwater sound

Within the ocean habitat

Causes the whales to go aground.

Maybe confusion, maybe fright,

And whales lose navigation sense,

Swimming directions not right,

Often with deadly consequence.

Most such sounds do be human made,

And increasingly do pervade.

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

 Skydiving Hobby

Needed a hobby I was told,

And so I decided to try

A hobby many thought was bold,

Cuz sometimes the doer would die.

Skydiving was the hobby that

I chose to do and did okay,

Enjoyed being an acrobat,

Falling thousands of feet away.

I felt it was such fun to do,

But many thought that I should find

Another hobby to pursue,

Just cuz I happened to be blind.

So gave up this fun travelogue,

Cuz it really freaked out the dog.

Sense Sonnet - Acher

 Wrong Message

A lovely, poisoned apple caught

Snow White's eye and she took a bite.

By trusting a stranger she got

Evil step mom's curse on Snow White,

Putting her into a deep sleep

From which she might never awake.

The seven dwarves could only weep.

They ran away for their own sake.

Just by luck, a prince happened by,

And took some advantage of her,

Gave an unasked for kiss was why.

This caused her wakeup to occur.

And children should beware of this.

Poisoning's not cured by a kiss.

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

 "Toe"tally Unacceptable

I met a girl on a blind date.

All was going along just fine,

And we were getting along great,

Chatting, as both of us did dine.

We reached a point where each did share

About each other a fun fact.

Her confiding made me aware

That both of her big toes she lacked.

Disappointed, I stayed polite,

But knew that her letting me know

This fact would mean an early night,

And separate ways we would go.

That was end of the date for me.

Lack toes intolerant I be.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

 Irish Good Luck

Little Patrick, the leprechaun,

Named after St. Patrick, is

On St. Patrick's Day early dawn

Walking through a garden with his

Friends, Bunny, the cute cottontail,

Who is very quick on the hop,

And slow on the crawl Kris, the snail.

The three of them come to a stop

Amid blooms and mushrooms to find

Some good luck green shamrocks to hold

With them so they'll be inclined

For Irish good luck to unfold.

Happy St. Patrick's Day to all,

With hope, Irish good luck does call. 

Sense Sonnet - Acher

 Strangers To Me

I wake up and I look around.

There's a stranger with me in bed.

Much confusion and some fear pound

Increasingly within my head.

I ask the stranger lying there,

Who is she and where is my wife?

The stranger's weeping, I'm aware,

Causing me feelings of more strife.

The stranger then makes a phone call,

Leaving the room and me alone.

Some time later, more strangers all

Surround me for purpose unknown.

I hear them talking about me.

In dementia, they say I be.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

 Domestic Doings

After dinner the two of us

Sit and watch T.V. for a while.

And then I hear him start to fuss.

He gives me a wink and a smile.

So I go get dressed up in my

Kinky costume he likes me wear.

He sees me coming and he does sigh,

Longing for fantasy we share.

Then he's begging, down on his knees,

For me to give him pleasure and pain

In ways I've learned that surely please

My slave in my mistress domain.

Hubby and me does often trip,

Him begging me to use my whip.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

 Little Hedgehogs in Love

Two little hedgehogs fall in love

At first sight on Valentine's Day,

Both of them filled with so much of

The special joy that's come their way.

Two little hedgehogs celebrate

Their finding each other on such

A special occasion so great,

Letting their feelings of love touch.

Two little hedgehogs who'll be

Sharing their blessings that come to

The looking for love, she and he,

Now that dreams of both have come true.

Two little hedgehogs love it up,

Dancing closely in a teacup.

Sense Sonnet - Acher

 Still in the Ghetto

Still happens each Chicago morn,

As Elvis sang long time ago,

Another little child is born

To his mama in the ghetto.

And he grows up in poverty,

One more stuck in the welfare state,

Till old enough to gang bang, he

Is pulled along the same ill fate,

Taking to the cruel streets to roam,

Learning the bad boy stuff with skill,

Terrorizing his ghetto home,

Bragging the theft, the rape the kill.

And still be heard his mama's cries,

Comes time her angry young man dies.

Sense Sonnet - Acher

 Water for Her Day

The old woman walked every day

Back and forth from the water well.

Early each morn she made her way

From the small hut where she did dwell

Alone, having outlived all who

Once were her friends and family.

She carried large water jugs, two,

Making the twenty mile journey

On foot to the water well, and

Filling them up there, walking back

Under hot sun 'cross arid land.

For decades done, this daily track.

The day the water well went dry,

The old woman laid down to die.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

 Tendency to Tilt

A a young sunflower I can

Follow the sun across the sky.

From east to west I make the span.

Humans did wonder how could I

With no muscles make such a move.

Studies of me showed I would grow

My west side stem so to behoove

Me then letting my flower go

On a tilting throughout the day,

Following the sun going west.

When the sun sets I tilt my way

Back to the east for next day's quest.

I stop moving, older I get.

Tilt stays for sunrise, not sunset.