Sense Sonnet - Pumper

Beauty and the Beak

I was out one day flying high,
When a poacher took his best shot,
Knocking me right out of the sky.
This bald headed eagle was not
Gonna let the bum take the prize.
Badly wounded, I made my way
To a safe place where some good guys
Nursed me back to health, and they
Called me Beauty, building for me
A bionic beak to replace
Mine, that got shot off completely.
Most humans are good as a race.

If I find that poacher, no doubt,
I'm gonna rip his damn throat out.

Sense Sonnet - Chiller

Clouded in Sun

There was strange new activity
That was occurring from the sun.
Unknown scientifically,
Massive solar bursts had begun.
The normal stuff of solar rays
Was coming in an altered state,
So different in many ways.
All we could do was watch and wait.
But watching went from light to dark.
Panic began to spread worldwide.
The future was a question mark,
Affecting first the open eyed.

Exposure caused all creature kind,
With eyes, on Earth to become blind.

Sense Sonnet - Acher

Out

It came as a complete surprise,
Just as the day was almost done.
I thought the rumors were just lies,
Just spread around to have some fun.
There's a numbness now, I guess shock.
Home is not where I want to go.
So I am in an aimless walk,
Pretending that it isn't so.
Less of me says I will survive,
But most of me drowns in the loss.
There was where I really did thrive.
But no longer - so said my boss.

My job is my identity.
Losing it is like losing me.

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

Touche'

Retired President U.S. Grant
Walked into an inn for a beer.
Two lawyers out to galavant,
Were near the fireplace in high cheer.
Not recognizing who Grant was,
But noting his shabby wardrobe,
Assumed he was a vagrant scuz,
And addressed him in mocking probe.
"Stranger, you look like you're from hell."
"Getting here must have been a hike."
Said one.The other teased as well.
"Tell me stranger, what is hell like?"

"Just like here." Grant said with no ire.
"Lawyers all closest to the fire."

Sense Sonnet - Steamer

Not Behind the Wheel

Drunk driving, so say the police,
Over the limit by three times.
Will absurdity never cease?
Cops should go after the real crimes.
I might have been on the highway,
But I was not driving as such.
My lawyer tells me not to say
Anything, so I've said too much.
I will explain it all in Court.
I'm a victim of circumstance,
Which the police chose to distort,
And not giving me a fair chance.

It's police harassment, I swear,
Just being drunk in my wheelchair.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

Chief Crazy Horse Monument

The Chief Crazy Horse Monument,
Begun in 1948,
Is envisioned to represent
The qualities so fine and great
That was the Sioux nation of past.
Sculptor, Korczak Ziokowski,
Began the work with artful blast,
A South Dakota mountain be
Converted into man and horse.
When Korczak sadly passed away,
His family worked on of course,
To see the dream all done one day.

Legacy to go on in stone.
Ever in glory to be shown.

Sense Sonnet - Chiller

Surprise Gift

This morning, I find at my door
A large tall, potted cactus plant.
The unsigned card does thank me for
Being such a wonderful aunt.
Not an aunt at all, I do guess,
As I pull the cactus inside,
That it's come to the wrong address.
I hear a strange noise amplified.
The cactus does shiver and shake.
Suddenly, the whole thing does burst.
Horror grips me. It's no mistake.
All has gone from bad to worst.

Thousands of them swarm from there.
Scorpions are everywhere.

Sense Sonnet - Acher

Poisoned Child

I got distracted on the phone.
My 2 year old, Mike, got into
Some detergent. I heard him moan.
I called the paramedics crew.
Mike was unconscious when they rushed
Him to the E.R. I was there.
Mike's stomach was completely flushed.
They took him to intensive care.
Chemicals in the detergent
Set off some kind of reaction
In Mike that apparently went
Into his brain. Damage was done.

The doctors say my Mike may be
In a coma permanently.

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

Here's Foretelling

Louis the 11th of France
Was way into astrology.
Whoever foretold, took the chance
That they might become history,
If Louis was displeased at all
By what he was told was foretold.
One astrologer got the call.
Louis wanted to know how old
He would be before he would die.
The astrologer thought hard, then said
Louis' death would happen thereby,
When the astrologer was found dead.

So nothing fatal would occur,
Louis jailed the astrologer.

Sense Sonnet - Steamer

Globe Trotting

All the foreign hot spots, I'm there,
Reporting on all that is news.
A newswoman extraordinaire,
I've worked damn hard and paid my dues.
My hobby is casual sex,
With the men I meet in my work.
I've been blamed for many home wrecks.
It's not my fault the man's a jerk.
If he just kept his big mouth shut,
No feelings would have to be hurt.
Even though I am called a slut,
I just like letting up my skirt.

My job is, if anyone cares,
Bureau Chief of Foreign Affairs.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

H is for Hooray

I'm catching on as a new fad,
For those who want to look so fine.
Rub me under the eyes a tad,
And that puffiness will decline.
Slather me all over the bod
For the effect of looking ripped.
All around you will be so awed.
Your secret though need not be tipped.
This is such a fun gig for me,
Not stuck where the sun do not shine,
Battling rhoid rage boringly.
Being up front is so divine.

Making the club scene is my game.
Preparation H is my name.

Sense Sonnet - Chiller

Skeptic No More

I'd heard tales of the big bird lore,
Stuff the river folk like to tell.
With wing spans of ten feet or more,
Soaring out from the bowels of hell.
I'd heard the tales to be polite,
But didn't give them too much thought.
Then, I was walking home one night.
The town square was an empty spot.
Just my baby and I were there.
But suddenly, I was knocked down,
My baby snatched into the air.
My screams echoed through the town.

The big bird soared off with its prey,
Taking my sweet baby away.

Sense Sonnet - Acher

Chew Toy

Roscoe is just a puppy dog.
My diabetes stuff is not
Something that's in his dialogue.
The lack of feeling that I've got
In my feet at times - there's no way
That Roscoe could know what he did,
While I slept earlier today,
Was something that I would forbid.
When I woke up and saw what had
Happened, but could not feel the pain,
All I could feel was very sad.
It was useless to try to train.

I had to put down my Roscoe,
For gnawing off my numb big toe.

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

Progress

It was a White House ladies tea.
Bess Truman was hostess for it.
The President happened to be
In the rose garden when, to wit,
The ladies could overhear him
Discussing with some of his staff
That good manure gave the vim
And vigor to roses. A laugh
Came from Mrs. Truman, noting
That her guests reacted in shock,
Over that word they were hearing.
She assured this was improved talk.

"Gladly, nothing could be truer,"
"That at least he says manure."

Sense Sonnet - Steamer

Cause with Drive

I'm walking the streets to protest
Skyrocketing prices of gas.
What's caused me to be most distressed
Is being treated second class
By corrupt politicians who
Let their oil cronies rob us blind.
We need gas to get from and to,
So other needs are left behind.
Please read my cardboard protest sign,
And honk your horn if you agree.
Even though I am only nine,
Gas prices are impacting me.

Mom says gas prices are so high,
She had to cancel cable - bye!

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

Stonehenge

Stonehenge stands on the British plain,
A monument to efforts past.
Centuries B.C., the campaign
To build a marvel that would last,
Began, taking time to complete,
Spanning generations of those
Who formed the henge. Then came the feat
Of bringing massive stones in tows
From sites hundreds of miles away,
Into a circle. Still unknown
Is their purpose for this array.
Why did they build this henge of stone?

Stonehenge was built to mystify,
So future folks would wonder why.

Sense Sonnet - Chiller

One More Thing

I drive out into the desert,
SoI can have some time alone.
And some exercise wouldn't hurt,
So I stroll through the sandy zone.
But suddenly, my feet are stuck,
Caught in the clutches of quicksand.
In only moments, the sands suck
Me down, no chance to withstand
The dire fate. No rescue in sight.
Only my head is now still out.
But then, firm footing stops my plight.
No more sinking. In joy, I shout.

I have a new problem instead.
Ants are crawling onto my head.

Sense Sonnet - Acher

Long Lost Love

He phoned her if he could stop by.
She said that that would be just fine,
And felt that a proposal was why
His visit was by that design.
But, he never came, and strangely
He disappeared without a trace.
So many years went by, and she
Sometimes would remember his face.
While diving in a nearby lake,
Some divers found a car down deep.
She learned the news and felt heartache,
That here he'd found his final sleep.

And clutched in his eroded hand
Was a diamond engagement band.

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

Mapmaker

Joseph Stalin was not too bright,
When it came to geography.
Speaking of the Soviet might,
Rather than use a real map, he
Drew one of his own on a board.
The Soviet Union took all
The northern hemishere, then soared
Southward in gigantic sprawl,
Reaching into all continents,
Pushing other countries aside.
Praise for Stalin's map did commence,
And kept up until Stalin died.

Nobody dared correct the chap.
'Twas safer to make a new map.

Sense Sonnet - Steamer

Smuggle Struggle

One sees the statues ev'rywhere,
Coming across from Mexico.
Jesus is a popular ware,
As border cross souvenirs go.
So I took 6 pounds of cocaine,
And made a statue from its paste -
Complete with multi colored stain -
Jesus, though not in best of taste.
But with it under arm, I went
Through customs quite casually.
All seemed like it was heaven sent.
I really thought I was home free.

Thanks to a patrol dog's dang snout,
My Jesus statue got sniffed out.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

Comeback

Age 59 is not that old,
And certainly too young to die.
I had a heart attack I'm told,
And the doctors said that was why
I was dead. And then I got stiff
While I was just lying there waiting for
The doctors to figure out if
They should study me anymore.
I guess the doctors forgot me,
'Cause after a whole day almost,
I came to as good as can be.
The doctors thought I was a ghost.

A miracle, the doctors say,
I just hope that I stay that way.

Sense Sonnet - Chiller

Gone but Not Forgotten

Miyazaki, that is my name.
Called cannibal nerd, killer geek.
Tokyo's criminal of fame.
Preying on girls, young and weak,
Between 4 and 7 years old
Is preferred for the pretty one.
Starting out warm, but turning cold,
When my pleasures were at last done.
Snatching her, innocently fresh,
Appealing to my rare taste bud.
Naughty nibbling upon her flesh.
Savory sipping of her blood.

I'm executed finally.
But others will copy cat me.

Sense Sonnet - Acher

Relapse

I was sober for 20 years,
Raising my children with my wife;
Sharing more laughter and less tears,
All in all a wonderful life.
Thinking somehow that I'd be spared
The folly of many a fool,
On a business trip I dared
The fates on a hotel bar stool.
In a few months, I had lost all.
And once again, I was just a slave
To that old master, alcohol.
Oh God, please put me in my grave.

There is misery with each breath,
That only will be gone in death.

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

Diet to Die For

A married couple, very old,
Stayed very healthy, mainly due
To her keeping a quite firm hold
On a strict diet for the two.
But there was a car accident,
And both were killed quite suddenly.
Off to heaven both of them went,
Where everything there was free.
How much or whatever they ate
Mattered not, now that they were dead.
No more diet to him was great,
And he turned to his wife and said.

"If you weren't so healthy go go,"
"We coulda been here years ago."

Sense Sonnet - Steamer

Big Brown

Why did I lose the Triple Crown?
I was a horse shoe in tongues say.
Rumor has it a fix came down,
Or the jockey bet in foul play,
Or I was having a steroid freeze,
Or injured so I would not run,
Or the owner was blackmailed - puhlease.
The more scandalous, the more fun.
Today what really is the sport
Is the story that sells the most.
The winner got little report,
But losing - that's what grossed.

Folks feed on scandals. I eat hay.
This deep throat's got nothing to say.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

Dorado

In the World Trade Center, at work
On 9/11, when hell struck,
And all around me went berserk.
Blind, I thought I was out of luck,
But, Dorado knew what to do.
The labrador retriever led
Me through the smokey hallways to
The stairs. Dorado stayed ahead,
And 70 floors we walked down,
For hours, one step at a time,
To ground zero of New York town,
Surviving that horrible crime.

I was saved on that fateful day
By Dorado who led the way.

Sense Sonnet - Chiller

Ed Gein

Ed Gein was sick when Momma died.
All alone now out on the farm.
While visiting Momma's graveside,
Came a thought that could do no harm.
Ed dug up lady corpses fresh,
And took them home as company,
Making knick knacks out of their flesh.
Their skulls were mounted randomly.
Eventually folks got to know
About where Ed's sick mind was at.
He would take his piece work to show
Kids that he often babysat.

Ed Gein went to the loony bin.
That really got under his skin.

Sense Sonnet - Acher

Painful Picture

My Dad stayed in his neighborhood,
Because he felt liked and safe there,
That people around him were good,
And willing to help and to care.
Dad was trying to cross the street,
And was struck by a hit and run.
The collision was filmed complete,
Showing Dad was down, and no one
Approached to try to offer aid.
People and cars kept on their way.
Were they all that cold or afraid?
Did Dad just not matter that day?

People saw him and just passed by,
Watching a helpless old man die.

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

Fading Memory

My wife and I, married for years,
Enjoyed each other's company.
Lately, I was having some fears
She was losing her memory.
At lunch she said, out of the blue,
That while she recognized my face,
She wasn't sure exactly who
I am. So she asked just in case,
"Please tell me your name, first and last."
I tried hard not to shake my head.
Poor dear, she's really fading fast.
I thought a moment and then said,

"Well, sometimes that's how things go."
"But, how soon do you need to know?"

Sense Sonnet - Steamer

Missed a Good Meal

We saw and heard the noisy bird
Flying toward us up in the sky.
We grabbed weapons without a word.
Tough to shoot down, but we'd sure try.
One fell down many moons ago,
And dumped out tourists by the bunch.
Into the stew pot on fire low.
Tasty treats for many a lunch.
So at this big bird we took aim,
Shooting arrow and throwing spear.
But alas, gone went the prize game,
Off to where ever is not here.

We watched that big bird fly away.
No civilized stew meat today.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

One for the Guys

A medical study came out
Recently, about the prostate,
Stating that with but little doubt,
Masturbation's effect is great
In sucking out from the small gland
The stuff that oft makes cancerous
This organ that is wholly manned,
Strickening too many of us.
So men, put those muscles to flex,
No longer in guilt or in grief.
Experts say that this safest sex
Is giving double dosed relief.

It's for good health of us, mankind.
Forget that Moms said we'd go blind.