Sense Sonnet - Steamer

Go Figure

I've been a married man 4 times.
But right now I've no wife with me.
Against wives, I'm accused of crimes,
With little good publicity.
The first ex-wife says I was mean.
The second says I played around.
The third died in a bathtub scene.
The cause of death has not been found.
The fourth just up and disappeared.
The cops call me the prime suspect.
With all of this, one thing that's weird.
Ladies galore want to connect.

It's not like the gals do not know.
I'm a fav bash of Geraldo.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

Long Run

John Adams and Tom Jefferson,
Both Founders of the nation's birth,
Loved to see the other outdone
In endeavors of any worth.
As they grew older, both did vow
To live to 1826,
To July 4th, so to allow
The 50 year span to affix
Since signing the Declaration
Of Independence. Both made it.
Adams said his rival had won
'Cause it was time for Adams to quit.

And so said, Adams passed away.
Jefferson also died that day.

Sense Sonnet - Chiller

Beyond Layaway

A lady was asking about
The available coffins for
Her husband. She expressed some doubt
To the funeral director,
Whether any models on show
Would comfort her husband's bad back.
The long time director did know
To give the grieving lots of slack.
He pitched a coffin like a bed -
The most expensive one he had.
"I want to lease," the lady said,
"Shipment delay has gotten bad."

"It's needed temporarily,"
"Till the Count's coffin comes, you see?"

Sense Sonnet - Acher

Did Not Convince

The patient was insisting on
Leaving the hospital. He knew
Staff had tried to impress upon
Him that his treatment was not through.
He had no clothes for being out.
But, no legal reason was there
To make him stay, whatever doubt.
He had the right to refuse care.
I walked with him to the front door,
Imploring him to change his mind.
"What are you risking your life for?"
I asked, "Are you a death wish kind?"

I think about what I had said.
He was found in a snowdrift, dead.

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

Bug Battered

The doorbell rang. I answered it.
A giant cockroach stood right there,
And to my nose, it popped a hit;
Then ran off. 'Twas quite a scare.
I was in the grocery store,
Giving a cantaloupe a thump.
That same cockroach kicked me. Before
I could react, off it did jump.
Then just as I was leaving church,
The same damn roach flat knocked me down.
I watched it scoot off in a lurch.
It follows me all over town.

The awful truth that I have found -
A nasty bug's going around.

Sense Sonnet - Steamer

Disturbing My Peace

I knew it was too good to last.
Long forgotten and left alone.
But then some snoop enthusiast
Dug me up. My cover was blown.
Buried with me was lots of gold,
And so of course, in greedy haste,
My body parts got hacked, all told.
The gold face mask did get replaced,
And I went on public display.
Now the thrillseekers choose to strut
Me au natural all the way.
The weak chinned, buck toothed boy King Tut.

I was buried for centuries.
Now all my parts - the whole world sees.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

Go with the Flow

Geronimo, he got his name
From Mexico, as he waged war,
Putting their armies to such shame,
Relief from St. Jerome they swore.
Long and hard he fought for the land,
Home of his people, ages past.
For all he loved, he took his stand,
But the invaders won at last.
He was in prison for a while.
Then freed, he joined in the new way -
The way to the bank with a smile,
Cashing in till his dying day.

Geronimo, he got to be
A real life paid celebrity.

Sense Sonnet - Chiller

Spirit of Black Dahlia

A 1947 case
Of unsolved murder in L.A.
The Biltmore Hotel is the place
The victim haunts, so many say.
Elizabeth Short was her name.
A wannabe Hollywood star.
But in death she achieved her fame -
The Black Dahlia case, bizarre.
Her killer has never been caught.
Stories of her death still abound.
And, her ghost still appears a lot.
Perhaps till the answer is found.

She's often seen at the Biltmore,
Always en route to the 6th floor.

Sense Sonnet - Acher

Down Grade

It's hell to be in 7th grade.
There's just no end in sight to school,
Going like a circus parade,
Led by a dressed up silly fool.
I've thought about ditching the place.
But, that would just stir up the shit.
The folks would come down on my case
Lots more than I already get.
Gonna flunk this history test,
Which right now looks like a sure thing,
Unless I'm lucky what I guessed.
Can't wait for that damn bell to ring.

Another test, another flunk,
Another today to get drunk.

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

Special Occasion

"Do you know what today is, dear?"
The wife asked hubby at breakfast.
"Of course," Hubby said in good cheer,
But mentally he vainly cussed,
Having not a clue why today
Was important. He left for work.
Later that day, a huge bouquet
From hubby gave the wife a perk,
Also, a great big candy box.
Later came a designer gown,
With a necklace of ruby rocks.
She called hubby at work downtown.

"How wonderful," the wife did say,
"To be treated on Groundhog Day."

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

Ideal of Ideas

Marie Curie, a Polish girl,
Was always curious about
The unknown secrets that must whirl
Through the world, within and without.
She grew into a scientist.
Radiation was research prime.
Two Nobel prizes made the list
Of many honors over time.
She would not patent what she found,
Wanting others unhindered to
Use her work to explore new ground,
And discover new wonders true.

"Ideas," said Madame Curie,
"Should spark all curiosity."

Sense Sonnet - Steamer

Fed Up

It's bad enough I'm stuck in here,
A forced exhibit on display.
There's no respect 'cause there's no fear,
Like I'd get out in the wild way.
I've put up with a lot of crap -
Like those 3 drunken jerks out there,
Waking me up from a sound nap.
Their coward taunts howl through the air.
A super leap for all the mock,
I clear the fence above the moat.
They're frozen still in sheer stunned shock.
"What's the matter - cat got your throat?"

I know they'll shoot me, 'cause they can.
But don't mess with this tiger, man.

Sense Sonnet - Chiller

Behaving Badly

After all it was Christmas time.
So I invited a few guests.
My wife screamed like it was a crime,
And shrieked the bums were only pests.
I figured then that my dear wife
Had regrettably stopped her meds.
I was sure when I saw the knife,
And watched my blood flow in bright reds.
The holidays have always been
Hard for my wife to make it through.
Her depression really kicks in.
I never know what she might do.

I'm bleeding here under the tree.
I hope the guests come and find me.

Sense Sonnet - Acher

Pity the Child

Don't you dare come in this room.
You're in my home illegally.
That damn ex sent you I assume.
My child in here is safe with me.
I haven't done anything wrong.
The law just hears a bunch of lies
From my ex's crap dance and song.
Like the bull about my drug highs.
The pills are prescribed by a doc.
And what's wrong with a drink or two?
So you can stop with all your talk.
I am gonna sue all of you.

My full of it ex - that's the louse.
So you cops get outta my house.

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

"Bun"dolences

Pop N Fresh, may you rest in peace.
We can't believe that you are gone.
Sure, there were those palms you did grease,
To turnover dough, then rise on
Through all your many half baked schemes.
But, you left us kneading you more
Through all those Betty Crocker dreams.
Maybe not the roll model for
Leading the yeasterday parade.
But, no smart cookie could deny
You were a flour child who made
A lovin' oven. What a guy!

Gone to meet your maker on high.
Burned up by your baker. Bye bye.

Sense Sonnet - Steamer

My Mistake

Now where did I park that damn car?
It's hell when a body gets old.
There it is. But those men! They are
Getting in it. Thieves are so bold.
Well, when they see my gun, they'll know
They goofed. "Hey - hands up you jerks! Freeze!"
Just as I thought. Look at 'em go.
Got to get home.Where are my keys?
Once safe at home, I'll call police.
The key won't turn. Shoot! Just relax.
A cop - will wonders never cease?
He tells some embarrassing facts.

"Ma'am, 4 guys said you pulled a gun,"
"And stole their car. They had to run."

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

Santa Time

Mathematicians do the math.
Scientists get in on the act.
Variables of the flight path
Come down to the computed fact
That each visit by Santa Claus
To each child throughout the whole world
Would be a blip flash because
Of time/matter theories unfurled.
A few hours to get to all
The billions of children across
The millions of miles of sleigh haul.
Explanations are at a loss.

Science and math are subjects prime,
But know nothing of Santa time.

Sense Sonnet - Chiller

Limbo

I wake up and I'm in my car,
Which crashed into a deep ravine.
But, I recall it's not too far
From the highway. I should be seen.
I leave the wreckage with strange ease,
Then see me still lying inside.
Sheer consuming panic does seize,
As I am sure I must have died.
But then, I see me slightly move.
Thank God. I must still be alive.
But what does this fact really prove,
Since no one knows I took this drive.

I feel so helpless in this state,
Wondering what will be my fate.

Sense Sonnet - Acher

Measure of Time

I'm terminal the doctors say,
Unless an operation's done.
But the insurance will not pay.
Other options - there just are none.
My family is so upset -
Not able to understand why
The ways and means to save are set
So some will live and some will die.
I believe that I am at peace
With whatever will be my fate.
I pray my loved ones find release
In sharing love - no time to hate.

Sharing love with my family
For all the time that's left to me.

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

Electrifying Host

Ben Franklin dabbled in a lot.
One thing was electricity.
A personal trait that is not
Well known was that Ben loved to be
A practical joker, first rate.
Before serving drinks he would get
The glasses in a mild charged state;
Then serve his guests when all was set,
And propose a meaningful toast.
The mix of glasses, liquid and flesh
Would give the current a clear coast,
To offer more than mere refresh.

Ol' Ben watched as his guests took sips,
And giggled while juice zapped their lips.

Sense Sonnet - Steamer

Paint by the Numbers

Martha Washington wanted George
Painted the best that he could be.
She knew Stuart tended to forge
Previous oils to make money.
But, Gilbert Stuart was the best.
So she hired him, but told him to
Deliver when done, and she stressed,
When done - to her, a must to do.
The painting was a masterpiece,
But left unfinished, a small patch.
Stuart did not have to release,
Meanwhile selling a copied batch.

And, this painting was never done.
Martha got a second hand one.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

Long Lost

I got a ring for my birthday,
From my Mom, and on the inside
Was engraved my name on display.
But, soon I lost it and Mom sighed,
And got me a blanket instead,
Saying that would be hard to lose,
As long as it stayed on my bed.
Yesterday, I got some strange news,
From a butcher shop in my town.
The ring with my name was found in
A plucked chicken's gullet, way down.
Mom was shocked I had it again.

I was 8 when I lost that ring.
I'll be 27 next spring.

Sense Sonnet - Chiller

On My Own

I'm thinking the machine is off,
Before I stick my hand in there,
To pull the stuck corn from the trough.
I'm in for one hell of a scare.
The metal teeth grab at my shirt,
And I can't get my arm pulled free.
I feel an awful lot of hurt.
The gears are slowly eating me.
I get my knife with my free hand,
Then grit my teeth and start to cut.
It's almost more than I can stand.
I slice through and squeeze the stump shut.

Better be on my way, no doubt.
To get help before I pass out.

Sense Sonnet - Acher

Remember

The news was felt in disbelief.
The moment known was etched in time.
Emotions swirled from shock and grief,
To fear and anger at the crime.
The persona of hope was lost,
And never to again be found.
The nation shared in the true cost,
And passed it to the world around.
It was the pointless tragedy
That never will be understood.
Flashbacks of it will always be
In memories for bad for good.

No one then can forget that day,
Those bullets fired killed J.F.K.

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

Transition

A man wasn't feeling very well,
And went to his doctor to check.
The doctor said, "I hate to tell"
"You, sadly, your health is a wreck."
"You only have 2 weeks to live."
The man was devastated, but
Asked if the doctor could give
Any advice that might short cut
Anxiety for those 2 weeks.
"You might try mud baths frequently."
"Will mud baths be useful techniques?"
The man asked his doc hopefully.

"Well, it sure won't cause any hurt,"
"And should help you get used to dirt."

Sense Sonnet - Steamer

Take Out

Yes, happy as a clam can be,
Living way up north and way deep
In the Arctic Sea, that was me.
Of course, I knew I could not keep
Those homo sapien butt ins
From eventually finding out
That here I lived through thicks and thins
For 400 years thereabout.
But, the day came they got a hold
Of me, and of course right away,
Cut me up, and saw I was old.
But, my oldness stopped that done day.

Time was against me - enough said
Mankind unkind, and now I'm dead.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

What a Card!

I got a Christmas card this year
From Chet, who had died months before.
The card wished the normal good cheer.
Then Chet continued writing more.
He asked God if it was okay
To send cards even though now dead.
God pondered, then had this to say,
"Oh, what the heaven, go ahead."
The postmark on the envelope
Read "Heaven" and looked authentic.
A postage meter had stamped "Hope."
It all looked real and not a trick.

Thank you for the Christmas card, Chet -
A memorable one to get.

Sense Sonnet - Chiller

Disevolve

H.G. Wells in his Time Machine
Wrote of the Eloi and Morlocks,
Future splits of the human gene
Into upper and lower blocks.
Such science fiction now is posed
To quite possibly be in fact,
Evolving outcome that's disclosed,
When humans peek then have backtracked.
In year 3000, humans should
Have all evolved beyond compare.
All harmony and peace and good,
Then, it's all down the tubes from there.

Perhaps it's human destiny,
Haves and have nots will always be.

Sense Sonnet - Acher

Letting Go

My wife is having an affair
With a man she recently met.
They are at the same place for care.
At first, I was very upset.
We've been married for 50 years,
Mostly wonderful memories.
Seeing them both brought me to tears.
I watched them walking through the trees,
Holding hands like we used to do.
But luckily, I sought advice
From some who also have been through
These pains, and made the sacrifice.

My dear, dear wife is not to blame.
It's Alzheimers, and that's the shame.

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

Fast Food

The plane wreck survivor was found
Next to a pile of human bones.
All alone, he sat on the ground.
Chewing, he talked in a muffled tone.
"Thank God you guys are here at last."
"I had to eat the rest of them,"
"To stay alive while the time passed."
"Please don't be too quick to condemn."
He threw one more bone to the side.
"It was a time to do or die."
The rescuers were horrified.
One mentioned to the plane wrecked guy,

"What's causing us the most dismay -"
"Your plane just went down yesterday."

Sense Sonnet - Steamer

Justice Disserved

My client, by a Saudi Court,
Was found guilty and ordered to
60 lashes of the whip sort.
Her crime was she was with men who
Were not related, even though
She had been gang raped by these men,
And not voluntarily, so
We took the case to appeal then.
The same Court found us in contempt.
200 lashes and jail time,
My client got for the attempt
To "blame" the Court for her "bad" crime.

Sadly, there's nothing I can do.
I'm off the case, and disbarred too.