Sense Sonnet - Pumper

Oscar

Oscar's been with us for a while.
The nursing home is his home too.
With that friendly whiskery smile.
Through the halls with his cats eye view.
Friendly with all the residents,
He makes his daily check in rounds.
When he does extend his presence,
Making soft, soothing purring sounds,
Curling up on the bed beside
One of us, then all others know
That quite soon, that one will have died.
Time for goodbyes before it's so.

Oscar's now curled up with me,
Helping let death come peacefully.

Sense Sonnet - Chiller

Switch Places

He would not let me speak my mind.
I was under his full control.
He manipulated behind,
Depriving me of heart and soul.
I overheard him on the phone,
Planning to tear me limb from limb,
Destroying all that was my own.
I had to get the jump on him.
And so while he was fast asleep,
I stabbed his heart with a sharp knife,
Then cut away his entrails deep,
Switching him into my old life.

Now, a new dummy does exist,
And I am the ventriloquist.

Sense Sonnet - Acher

Battlefield Valor

From nowhere, suddenly, it came,
A live hand grenade rolled in sight.
Thrown by somebody taking aim
To kill and maim out of pure spite.
A bunch of bodies froze in fear,
Too scared to scream, too shocked to run.
The danger was present and clear,
And, he knew what had to be done.
He fell on the bomb as it blew,
Taking the blast to save the rest.
Just what a good soldier would do -
Took the worst by giving his best.

He died a teacher in grade school,
Teaching kids the true Golden Rule.

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

Wit's End

Oscar Wilde was well known for wit,
Even during difficult times.
His cleverness just never quit,
No matter whether lows or primes.
On his deathbed, he drank champagne,
And ate the finest of cuisines.
"As I have lived," he did maintain,
"So shall I die - beyond my means."
"And, something else that all should know,"
Wilde opened up his eyes real wide.
"Either those curtains have to go,"
"Or I do," and with that he died.

Wit for Wilde, easily came by,
Even when just about to die.

Sense Sonnet - Steamer

Campfire Roast

I finished up my shaving chore,
And splashed my face with cologne, Brut;
Then headed out of the tent door,
In a cooking breakfast pursuit.
Nothing better than a morn meal
Cooked over a blazing campfire.
There is a special yum appeal
That campfire cooking does inspire.
But, as I put the skillet on,
I felt my face erupt in flame.
Many skin grafts I've undergone,
The Brut catching fire was to blame.

My lawyer says I've got a case
For Brut-ality of my face.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

Smile Hi

Born some 25 years ago,
A child of the computer age,
I've grown up as a way to show
Happy on the emotion gauge.
Recognized wherever I am.
Usually found at the end
Of a sharing good news-0-gram.
Good to receive and good to send.
An icon of the pc screen,
A bumper sticker for the good.
No matter where I might be seen,
For all who see, I'm understood.

Give or get - whatever the case,
It's better with me - Smiley Face :-)

Sense Sonnet - Chiller

Web Link

The sun is just starting to rise,
As I am walking through the trees.
Suddenly, in front of me lies
A shroud fluttering in the breeze.
The early dawn light does display
A web of some kind draping through
The woods, covering the pathway.
I near to get a better view.
Silky white, like fresh fallen snow,
Shimmering strands enticing touch.
A sticky hold will not let go.
I am enveloped in its clutch.

I am stuck and cannot break free.
I hear something moving toward me.

Sense Sonnet - Acher

Vanishing Act

The State of the Union address
By the President was mid way.
The Fed government, more or less,
Was in the chamber on display.
Head honchos of the branches, three,
Were all assembled in one place;
But, then quite mysteriously,
All disappeared without a trace.
Needless to say, it was a shock.
Frantic searches were all for naught.
At first, world war was the main talk.
But, soon on with our lives we got.

We could not solve what had been done,
Just that it was bipartisan.

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

Tubby

President William Howard Taft
Weighed in at 300 plus pounds.
People poked fun and he just laughed,
And said he rolled on White House grounds.
Early in his term he got stuck
In the bathtub, while Congress sat,
Waiting for him; 'twas nip and tuck.
His speech was on cutting out fat,
Given after being quite late.
And Taft explained the reason why.
"The budget ought not meet my fate,"
He said, "Less is better thereby."

No fat president now, some say.
Way not pc to be that way.

Sense Sonnet - Steamer

Attack

I am jogging in the park.
Suddenly, this guy comes at me.
I see a knife flash in the dark.
He orders me menacingly
To take off both my socks and shoes,
And then to sit down on the ground.
Fearing stabbing if I refuse,
I comply. His actions astound.
He licks my toes, holding my feet,
Then sets them down and runs away.
I tell a cop, walking his beat.
The licker's caught later that day.

It could have been worse, I suppose.
I'm glad the cops were on their toes.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

Fixer

Mechanics asked me what to do.
They could not get the plane to start.
Since the airline only had two
Jet airliners, I thought it smart
To put the matter right before
The sky god in a sacrifice.
I bought a live goat from the store.
In front of the plane, clean and nice,
I killed the goat and said a prayer.
But, the damn plane still would not go.
I had another goat killed there.
The plane then started up - hello!

No doubt when all is said and done,
Two goats are better than just one.

Sense Sonnet - Chiller

Getting Late

My God, the morgue is where I'm at.
I'm still alive. Why can't they tell?
Some kind of paralysis that
Just took hold of me - what the hell?
I was taking a walk outside.
My face brushed some leaves overhead.
I fell. Passersby said I died.
A doctor confirmed I was dead.
Now, I'm lying on this cold slab,
Praying that somehow, someone will,
With a non lethal prick or jab,
Discover that I'm alive - still.

Oh God, the last thing that I see -
That whirring blade coming at me.

Sense Sonnet - Acher

Price Tag

I don't know what I was thinking,
I guess nothing too bright at all.
Wearing a shirt that was blinking
Was not a real wise fashion call.
Especially in an airport,
Where there's always a high alert,
And not a place to have some sport.
That can get the sporter quite hurt.
I was surrounded suddenly,
And remember seeing a gun.
I don't know what got into me.
Panic struck. I started to run.

I got punished more than a fine.
A bullet fired, severed my spine.

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

Die Verse

Two poets came to visit me.
They had some new poems to share.
I baked a scone and served with tea.
The scone contained rat poison there.
These poets were lousy at verse.
I could no longer bear to hear
Their poetry, that just got worse.
For their loss, I would share no tear.
They gobbled down the scone, and soon
Were dead poets sprawled on the floor.
I picked up a fallen teaspoon,
And smiled. They'd bother me no more.

A fact that is not too well known -
That I killed two bards with one scone.

Sense Sonnet - Steamer

Cell to Cell

I want info, 411, but,
I hit 911 by mistake.
Thinking that I can just short cut,
I try again - gimme a break!
The damn cell phone locks up on me.
I throw the thing across the room.
911, unfortunately,
Still's on my line and does assume
That help's needed where the cell's from.
Soon, cops are coming through my door.
I watch them, feeling kind of dumb.
They ask what I am nervous for.

This day is getting awful drab.
The cops discover my meth lab.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

First Lady

Moira Cameron is the first
Female Beefeater of the realm,
To serve with duties quite well versed,
In traditions that overwhelm.
The Tower of London to guard,
Since 1485, a post
That is held in highest regard,
An honor that is uppermost.
The source of the name is unclear.
In early times, many do say,
The King liked his gold much too dear,
So Tower guards got beef in pay.

Congratulations, Moira, for
Opening up the Tower door.

Sense Sonnet - Chiller

Time Heals

I had a pencil in my hand,
And slipped and fell to the floor.
My arm hit first and I did land.
Through my cheek the pencil did bore,
And disappeared inside my head.
The doctors were baffled by this,
And wondered why I wasn't dead;
But dared not try fix the near miss,
Not knowing then what they should do.
Headaches and nosebleeds came about.
With the pencil, older I grew.
At last, doctors could pull it out.

The pencil lodged inside my brain,
55 years it did remain.

Sense Sonnet - Acher

Parents Kill

It seems like anytime they got
Together for a length of time,
My Mom and Dad just up and fought.
Since being born, I'd watched this crime.
Now, I'm just about 1 year old,
Caught in the middle of their fight.
Dad's screaming at Mom, who's got hold
Of me in one arm, and held tight
In her other hand is a knife.
She stabs Dad with it fatally;
And Dad shoots Mom, snuffing her life.
Shot through the leg, an orphan be.

Stuff happens to a kid that's bad,
When caught between mad Mom and Dad.

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

Simple Explanation

The old guy came back to his bed.
His wife awakened and inquired
If he was okay; and he said
Maybe he was overly tired;
But, when he went to the bathroom,
It seemed when he opened the door,
The light was on. He did assume
That it was left on from before.
Finishing up his business,
He reached up to turn off the light,
But couldn't find it, to his stress.
His wife assured it was all right

"Honey, you got off track a smidge,"
"And you were peeing in the fridge."

Sense Sonnet - Steamer

Health Hazard

A known chemical has been found
To cause excessive vomiting;
To even kill when too much downed;
To cause car brakes malfunctioning;
To be a lot in acid rain;
To be an erosion culprit;
To be in cancer of the brain;
To burn from heat it can emit.
This chemical is hazardous,
And maybe it ought to be banned.
What is this stuff that threatens us?
So we can better understand.

Dihydrogen monoxide - guess?
A fancy name for water - yes!

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

Air Born

30,000 feet in the air.
The lady sitting in 9B
Suddenly is quite aware
She's giving birth prematurely.
Minutes later, little pounder,
Alfie, makes his miles high debut.
But, breathing begins to flounder,
So Carol, one of the flight crew,
Uses an ordinary straw
To give the preemie CPR.
And soon little Alfie does draw
Breath on his own, like a track star.

The jet liner lands with 1 more
Passenger than was there before.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

Sea Born

Captain Ed, the mate and the cook
Were out on a small shrimping boat.
The captain and mate undertook
To pull in all the nets afloat.
In labor, not the cooking kind,
The cook cried out of her distress.
A breach birth, the captain did find.
Thirty miles from land, more or less.
The captain pulled the newborn out,
Tied off the cord with fishing line,
Brought the baby's breathing about
With CPR, till all was fine.

They sailed out with a crew of 3.
A crew of 4 sailed back from sea.

Sense Sonnet - Chiller

Flight Risk

From the plane window, I can see
The view at 20,000 feet.
My Grandma's sitting next to me.
I unbuckle to leave my seat.
Suddenly, there's a wierd whoosh sound.
The window is no longer there.
I'm being sucked right through that round
Hole, and into the open air.
Later, when I wake up, I'm told
We were able to safely land.
I was lucky Grandma grabbed hold,
Until others could lend a hand.

That was a close call one way trip.
Thank God Grandma's got a good grip.

Sense Sonnet - Acher

Family Man

The man is caught in a sex sting,
In a men's room in an airport.
Then the man pleads guilty, thinking
That there will be no news report.
The man is a politician,
Serving in an elected post.
His public career is soon done,
As the story goes coast to coast.
Humiliation and disgrace
Go forever with this man's name.
No matter what the time or place,
This man will ever be in shame.

For me, it's more than just too bad.
The man happens to be my Dad.

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

Hair Brain

The bank robbery went just fine.
I'm standing outside with the bag.
No time to wait for the bus line,
So I see a cab which I flag.
I get out at my barber shop,
And go inside for a quick trim.
I'm in the chair and see this cop.
Figure he's not here on a whim.
There's no point in trying to run.
I never was fast on my feet.
Besides, the cop does have a gun.
I tip my barber extra sweet.

At least if I'm under arrest,
I can be booked looking my best.

Sense Sonnet - Steamer

Ashes to Riches

I won't stop smoking cigarettes.
I'm hooked no matter what the price.
I'll die puffing with no regrets.
But, I found something else that's nice.
One day, I finished up a butt.
In the ashtray, I put it out.
The smeared ash formed a face clear cut.
It was Jesus, without a doubt.
I kept repeating the process.
A bunch of new ashtrays I bought.
Over and over, ash did bless
With the Lord's image in some spot.

Jesus in ash in each ashtray.
Me in cash in sales on Ebay.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

No Show

Merv Griffin at a county fair
Saw a wondrous novelty act.
A duck was dancing through the air.
With the owner, he did contract
To have the duck dance on T.V.
Just before the duck's dancing turn,
The owner asked Merv where could he
Plug in the hot plate. Merv did burn,
Knowing that's how the duck was made
To dance. So, Merv then bought the duck,
And took it home where it there stayed.
Merv said it brought him good luck.

Later 0n, Merv asked Fred Astaire
If a hot plate gave him a scare.

Sense Sonnet - Chiller

On Second Thought

1900 and New Year's Day,
The dawn of a new century.
I saw the train coming my way.
Vienna was beckoning me.
A young lad standing at the edge
Of the train platform caught my eye.
He was peering below the ledge,
As though he'd dropped something nearby.
He slipped and started to jack knife.
I pulled him back. The train roared past.
He thanked me for saving his life.
His name stayed with me to the last.

"I thank you so much, and I am"
"Adolf - Adolf Hitler, kind ma'am."

Sense Sonnet - Acher

Hard Hurt to Heal

I was in my building's hallway,
In front of my apartment door,
When a stranger made me his prey,
Pushing me down onto the floor.
I screamed and then he beat my face.
Blood was in my eyes, but I could
Hear doors open, then close someplace.
Hoping for help did me no good.
When I woke up, I was alone,
Bloody and bruised from the attack.
I knocked on doors of neighbors known,
But no neighbors answered me back.

My neighbors choosing to ignore -
In ways, that really hurt me more.

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

Test of Faith

I was out for a country drive,
Enjoying nature's harmony.
The fresh air made me come alive.
Just ahead, a nun waved at me.
I stopped and asked her what was wrong.
The sister smiled and pulled a gun.
The robbery did not take long -
A nasty habit for a nun.
This took mugging a bit too far.
I was not in a happy mode,
As she drove off in my new car,
And left me standing by the road.

I thought, as I walked back to town,
"How am I gonna live this down?"

Sense Sonnet - Steamer

Police State

When I got back to my car,
This cop read me the riot act.
I think his meddling went too far.
My parenting skills were attacked.
Just because I had left my kid
In the car, while I ran inside
To pick up something. No way did
I delay so my kid cried.
Yes, it took longer than I thought,
A couple of hours or so.
Yes, I guess it was kind of hot.
But, the kid's all right, doncha know?

Big brother is flipping his lid
Over nothing about my kid.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

Helping Hands

My car stalls on the railroad tracks.
I can see an oncoming train.
The seat belt jams - panic attacks.
I struggle to escape, in vain.
Suddenly, my car starts to roll
Safely across and up a hill.
I am one very lucky soul.
Driving on, I feel a strange chill.
Later, I learn that years before,
A train struck a school bus right there;
Ten dead children, forevermore.
And, somehow they knew my despair.

A fact I've treasured ever since -
On my car, lots of small handprints.