Sense Sonnet - Tickler

No Fly Guy

A baby turtle climbed a tree,
Flapped his little flippers real fast,
And from a branch went leapingly,
A wee airborne enthusiast.
But down he fell with a soft plop
Into the thick grasses below.
Back he went up to the tree top.
Flippers flapping, down he would go.
Two crows watched the turtle babe try
Again and again to succeed.
But no way was he gonna fly,
Momma and Poppa crow agreed.

"Maybe we should give him the word."
"He's adopted and not a bird."

Sense Sonnet - Steamer

Fast Learner

I got a call to my son's school.
So I showed up, expecting that
My son had broken some small rule,
And this was just a friendly chat.
The principal was quite upset,
Saying my son started a club,
That focused on the alphabet.
Sounded okay - but then the rub.
Each letter stood for a sex act,
That the kids would then demonstrate
With each other in close contact.
The beans were spilled by a classmate.

I can't believe what I was told.
My son is only 6 years old!

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

Mandela

Nelson Mandela, an old man,
When he walked from the prison walls,
That held him for three decades span.
In silence, sending strongest calls
That though his body was not free,
His spirit moved in soaring grace.
So that when the time came to be,
The world saw more than aged face.
He brought forth purpose from the past
To give the future hope, so true,
Of a better life that could last
For generations to renew.

Walked from yesterdays of sorrow
Toward promises of tomorrow.

Sense Sonnet - Chiller

Unforseen

I had a bad stomach ache, so
At the clinic, I got a shot
In the arm that was apropos
Medicine that I'd had a lot.
The needle accidentally
Punctured an artery, so that
Later, gangrene set into me.
The doctors took a hard look at
My medical situation,
Then gave me the unwelcome news.
I needed an amputation.
Life or limb - which one should I choose?

How could I lose, for heaven's sake,
An arm over a stomach ache?

Sense Sonnet - Acher

Fin ish

Dr. Fish, a brilliant sturgeon,
Operated on one real eel.
When the operation was done,
The patient could no longer feel.
The patient was the flounder of
The sea horsepital where Fish worked.
Fish's oyster came from above
By the board who were sharkly irked.
Dr. Fish had no porpoise now.
No one would let him operate.
So he drank like a fish knew how,
Octapussing down a shad fate.

It was whaleful watching him go
Down, hitting bottom on squid row.

Sense Sonnet - Acher

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

Write On Target

I took my bow and arrow to
The park to practice on my aim.
I found an oak tree that would do.
The target placement it became.
Arrow after arrow I shot
Into the trunk of that huge tree.
A bullseye - ev'ryone I got.
I was happy as I could be.
As I finished, a passerby
Complimented me on my skill
At hitting each and all bullseye.
And so my secret I did spill.

After each shot arrow has hit,
I paint the target around it.

Sense Sonnet - Steamer

Beyond the Reach of the Law

My house was in a hurricane,
And ended up a complete wreck.
The agent said not to complain.
It was an act of God - oh heck!
So my insurance would not pay.
The government had no relief.
My minister told me to pray
To God - the God who caused my grief.
So instead, I filed a lawsuit,
Suing God for damage divine
To my house. God should restitute
Me - a cashier's check would be fine.

The Court ordered the case be thrown,
Because God's address was not known.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

Nobel

Years ago, I read my obit,
That had been published by mistake.
Deemed the "merchant of death" in it,
For the main product that I make.
Yes, I am the dynamite king.
That invention has made me rich.
It can be a good or bad thing.
It is the user that deems which.
But, still alive and in good health,
I chose to set up a prize plan
That would be funded by my wealth,
Honoring the best work of man.

I am Doctor Alfred Nobel,
Hopefully in heaven, not hell.

Sense Sonnet - Chiller

Submerging

The ocean is so calm this night.
Treading water has made me tired.
I've never seen the stars so bright.
They take my mind off what's transpired.
The cruise ship I was on's long gone.
My cries for help have gone unheard.
For me, it has begun to dawn
That I don't have much afterward.
So far no sharks seem too close by,
Looking for helpless human prey.
If it's time that I must die,
I hope it's in a peaceful way.

I still can't believe it. Oh Lord!
My husband pushed me overboard.

Sense Sonnet - Acher

Tending To

The little one had strayed onto
The busy highway, and was struck,
And lying lifeless in the view
Of its mother, who without luck,
Had tried to venture to her child,
In the middle of the wide road.
Helplessly, she paced about wild.
Finally, a police car showed.
All traffic was brought to a halt.
Mother and child together went
Into the the woods from the asphalt.
Time enough for the sad event.

Time enough so the bear Mom may
Pull her little dead cub away.

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

Fire Bottom

A porto potty did contain
A chemical for cleanliness,
Quite flammable in that domain.
A man in some bowel distress,
Did sit upon for some relief,
Having a smoke while pause passing.
He threw the cig down, to his grief.
I did appear to do my thing.
Flaming the flesh - burn baby burn.
I really do not wish to boast.
But for me, there's no better turn
Than to prepare a good rump roast.

Of human touch, I never tire.
One of the perks of being fire.

Sense Sonnet - Steamer

Fire Out

Birthday parties ever abound.
At most of them there is the cake,
With candles on top all around.
Then comes the time for me to make
My debut, as candles are lit.
I listen to them sing the song
Of Happy Birthday to befit
The occasion. I'm going strong.
Then comes the time to make a wish,
Followed by what, without a doubt,
Is bad news breath of spit and splish.
'Cause just like that, I am blown out.

Of human touch, I never tire.
One of the perks of being fire.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

Fire Love

The fireplace, a zone of romance.
A couple in love, sit in front,
Watching me weave wisps of entrance,
Sending them forth to fuel the hunt
For those treasured moments of love.
As I dance merrily to make
What dreams of passion are made of.
My mission is for true love's sake.
I only need a bit of wood
To send my message forth in glow,
And cover the couple in good
Warmth of the heart. I make it so.

Of human touch, I never tire.
One of the perks of being fire.

Sense Sonnet - Chiller

Fire Bizarre

Very few folks have the right mix
Of gases and stuff for the chance
For me to have some special kicks.
First, the target gets in a trance.
Then a chemical spark takes place.
And that's my cue to flame about.
Around the bodiness, I chase
Myself, until there is no doubt,
Thanks to this burning mastermind,
Such a rare marvel has been done.
A crisp critter of humankind
By spontaneous combustion.

Of human touch, I never tire.
One of the perks of being fire.

Sense Sonnet - Acher

Fire Game

Playing with matches is the child,
Unaware of dangers that lurk.
Children, I have ever beguiled,
Wanting to know what makes me work.
And this child continues the game,
Enchanted by my magic hold,
And suddenly, the clothes aflame,
Unleashed, I do dance uncontrolled.
The child does shriek and run about,
Revitalizing me anew.
I guess there never was a doubt,
The child would lose this peek a boo.

Of human touch, I never tire.
One of the perks of being fire.

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

Free Flo

Ebb was at the end of his life.
He wanted the best for his death.
So he instructed Flo, his wife,
What to do, in his dying breath.
He told her that she now would own
His money, which all should be spent
On funeral, coffin and stone.
To his final reward Ebb went.
There was no funeral at all.
Flo gave Ebb's body to science.
Sometime later Flo did recall
Of Ebb's wishes - one compliance.

"I bought the stone - the only thing."
"How do you like my diamond ring?"

Sense Sonnet - Steamer

Sin Spin

I was pissed off at my old boss
For firing me for being late.
Bad news for anyone who'd cross
Me 'cause I'd get even with hate.
Being a handy soul of sorts,
I made and sent a letter bomb.
But, time went by and no reports.
I found the Lord and life was calm.
Months later, some mail was returned
For insufficient postage due.
Not thinking I should be concerned,
I opened it for a review.

Too late I remembered - oh dang.
My lights went out with a big bang.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

Hole in One

I've been a golfer for 2 years.
The other day on a par 3,
I did something that brought me cheers.
A hole in one was made by me.
What made it better was that I
Was playing along with my Dad.
I thought that he was gonna cry.
He was so very proud and glad.
The word spread and it made the news.
Everyone has been real nice.
I've done some T.V. interviews.
Maybe I can hole in one twice.

At kindergarten show and tell,
This 5 year old's got something swell.

Sense Sonnet - Chiller

Lizzie

I am Lizzie Borden of fame,
For axing to death my Daddy
And Mommy. In the skip rope game
They chant the whacks I did in glee.
Not guilty was the verdict found
At my trial for killing the folks.
But the story did stick around,
With me the brunt of all those jokes.
My parents - they made that mistake
Of treating me like a weak fool.
It was the last goof they would make,
As I picked up that handy tool.

I guess I was out of my mind,
But I did have an ax to grind.

Sense Sonnet - Acher

Seal the Deal

A seal was caught in an oil spill.
When found, it was barely alive.
A foundation, out of good will,
Gave the seal the care to survive.
A year later and rehab worth
80,000 dollars, the seal
Was fully fixed in its rebirth.
The foundation made a big deal
Of sending the seal back to sea.
Thousands of folks and T.V. news
Watched and clapped as the seal swam free.
Something else came into all views.

The last seen of the seal - its tail,
As it was swallowed by a whale.

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

That Time of Month

The wolf man comes into the house,
And plops into his easy chair.
"How was your day, dear?" asks his spouse.
The wolf man gives her a mean stare.
"Why do you have to bother me,"
"With all your questions? Nag! Nag! Nag!"
"I've had a bad day - can't you see?"
"Stop acting like a nosy hag."
The wolf man continues to growl,
His body shaking in fierce rage.
Acting and sounding very foul.
It's time to put him in his cage.

The wife thinks, seeing the full moon,
That time of month again - so soon.

Sense Sonnet - Steamer

Free the Oink Pressed

This pig slaughterhouse down the road
Made me sick each time I went by.
Brutal killing load after load
Of those poor creatures - made me cry.
So in a display of protest,
I went to that place late at night.
Against the gates, the pigs were pressed.
I was there to rescue their plight.
Breaking the locks, I opened wide
Those gates, letting the pigs go free.
Thousands of them came from inside,
Oinking and heading right at me.

No time to tell the pigs, we'd won.
All I could do was turn and run.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

Obama

Obama - funny sounding name
In American politics.
Half black, half white man finding fame
From rhetorical bags of tricks.
Coming fast from obscurity
To star on the whole wide world stage.
Fulfilling the dreamed destiny
Of masses mixing hope and rage.
But, each now wonders what's in store,
Whether choosing to praise or curse
The past and present, bracing for
The future - for better or worse.

Obama, President-elect,
Risen above the dark complect.

Sense Sonnet - Chiller

Awful Moment

Jake, my grandson, is 1 year old.
We are out enjoying the day.
To the end of the dock, I have rolled
Jake's stroller. We look at the bay.
I reach in my pocket to get
A snack for Jake. A gust of wind
Hits suddenly, and I'm offset.
The blast of air does also send
The stroller rolling from the dock
Into the dark waters below.
I run to the edge, and in shock,
See Jake pulled in the undertow.

I jump in to try to help him.
But then remember, I can't swim.

Sense Sonnet - Acher

A Diver out of Water

I was fighting a forest fire,
And came across a body - dead.
The strange thing was the corpse attire -
Diving outfit from feet to head.
The ocean was 2 miles away.
How had the diver gotten here,
In a forest fire? There was dismay.
Later, the answer became clear.
Coptors with huge buckets tied in,
Brought ocean water to dump on
The fire. The diver must have been
Scooped to the fire and dropped upon.

That's how a diver came to be
In a fire instead of the sea.

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

Fool Once, Twice...

My two comrades and I were caught
By the enemy as we spied.
Death by firing squad was the lot,
And immediately applied
One at a time to each of us.
The squad aimed at my comrade one.
He yelled "Earthquake." There was a fuss,
And the first comrade made a run
For it, and got away. So then,
It was the turn of comrade two.
He yelled, "Tidal wave." And again,
In the chaos, away he flew.

My comrades' tactics did inspire.
As the squad aimed, I shouted, "Fire."

Sense Sonnet - Steamer

What About Me?

Yes, it was a bad hurricane.
The order to evacuate -
I knew about, clear and plain.
But, it's my choice as to my fate.
And I chose not to leave my place.
Now that the storm has hit and gone,
Real inconvenience I do face.
For these troubles, I count on
The government to come help me.
But so far there's no rescuing
Nearby as far as I can see.
Somebody should have done something!

I'm a taxpaying citizen.
Forget how stupid I have been.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

Diary of Ilan Ramon

Ilan Ramon, an astronaut,
Was one of Columbia's crew,
That in 2003 was caught
In the tragedy coming true,
When the shuttle exploded high
Above the Earth, and none survived.
But falling miles down from the sky,
Back to ground, his diary arrived.
Filled with mission notes and prayers,
With personals of family,
Reminder of extraordinaires
That ordinary humans be.

The diary of Ilan Ramon
Returned to the home of its own.

Sense Sonnet - Chiller

Family Intervention

Somewhere in Malaysia, a man
Wants to stop smoking cigs real bad.
So his family says they can
Do a ritual on him, clad
In a guarantee that he will
Be forever without the urge
To smoke. He agrees. And they kill
Him. They knock him down and converge
Around his body, beating out
The life in him with sticks and stones.
When they were done, there was no doubt -
Lifeless torn flesh and broken bones.

It wasn't really hard to guess,
They had stopped him from smoking, yes!

Sense Sonnet - Acher

Hidden Costs

I've got these school loans coming due.
The loans add up to lots, no doubt.
I've got my virginity too.
Both of these, I can do without.
How to rid both in one fell swoop?
I plan to auction off my bod,
With a legal encounter group -
A Nevada brothel vice squad,
Well versed in these pay first affairs.
A legit doctor will attest
The true purity of my wares.
I'll be debt free if bids go best.

With all of this publicity,
My Mom found out that it is me.