Sense Sonnet - Steamer

The Norman Bates Bit

They caught me at the D.M.V.,
Dressed up like Mother, to renew
Her drivers license. Shame on me,
For letting the bureaucrats do
Me in. I guess I should have known
That after years of cashing in,
One day my cover would be blown.
I can hear Mother discipline
Me sharply for being a crook -
A Norman Bates dressed up like her
For payments she no longer took,
Or really needed as it were.

Whatever Mother might have said,
It matters not, since Mother's dead.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

Nanny

Nanny was with me as a child.
I'm not sure I knew her real name.
Her manner was so calm and mild,
Guiding me to what I became.
My parents were a busy pair.
For most of my childhood, I had
Only Nanny with whom to share
My times gone by - happy and sad.
I am in the hospital now,
Older and wiser, but quite ill.
I watch as Nanny wipes my brow.
I feel like I am a child still.

I watch her as she disappears.
Nanny's been dead for 50 years.

Sense Sonnet - Chiller

Over?

The U.S. Open on T.V.
Flashed that there was a rain delay.
So in the meantime, there would be
Last year's Open in a replay.
I had nothing better to do,
And I remembered that last year
Was excitement all the way through
In competitive atmosphere.
The leader was being chased by
Tiger, who needed one putt to win
On the 18th, but Tiger guy
Lost - his last putt would not go in.

But, something strange in this rerun.
Instead of losing, Tiger won.

Sense Sonnet - Acher

Immortal in Music

HIStory is now all I've got -
Forever Michael memory.
Invincible was not my lot.
A stopping heart, my Destiny.
All my Triumph and all my Bad
Mixed up in my Dancing Machine.
Music and Me was all I had.
I could be Dangerous and mean.
But today, death Got To Be There.
Off the Wall, I'm my own killer.
Maybe Tomorrow, I will dare
To live again - what a Thriller!

Only my pained body departs,
While my persona tops the charts.

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

What the...!

A space station crisis is had.
The only toilet will not flush.
Back up is getting awful bad,
Not something just aside to brush.
The astronauts have tried their skills
To get the vital throne to work.
But, not trained in such sewage spills,
They cannot drain the muck and murk.
"Just jiggle the handle a bit,"
Is the best from NASA gurus.
Then the fan really hits the shit.
NASA has to tell the bad news.

They can't find a plumber to send,
'Cause it's a holiday weekend.

Sense Sonnet - Steamer

Try to Help!

I was walking across the bridge,
And saw this guy upon the rail.
I could see he was just a smidge
From ending it all, with a sail
Into the air with fatal fall
To the far waters down below.
So I asked in beckoning call,
Was he sure he wanted it so?
As I approached, he yelled out, "Yes."
I said, Okay," and pushed him off.
Somebody saw all this, I guess.
I'm charged with murder. I don't scoff.

A helping hand to be humane.
No thanks, but just damn legal pain.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

Walter Cronkite

Walter Cronkite was 92,
When death came for the anchor man,
And took him right to heaven to
Take over news for the H Span.
On his way there he passed by
The moon, where 40 years before,
He had been the most trusted guy,
Reporting man's first landing score.
There is no doubt that he'll do well.
Heaven should have lots of good news.
They tried to lure him down to hell,
But Walter knew which way to choose.

Walter Cronkite signed off with his
Last words, "And that's the way it is."

Sense Sonnet - Chiller

Self Defense

My husband died from sleepless stress.
The next door neighbors murdered him.
Frogs in their pond croaked to excess.
Complaints from us were deemed a whim
By the neighbors and by the police.
The city council washed their hands,
Ruling that croaking noise release
Was not a nuisance in their banneds.
Meanwhile, my man croaks from the croaks,
And I am left alone to try
To outlast these mean next door folks.
To do that - they will have to die.

It's come time to even the score.
I smell a fire starting next door.

Sense Sonnet - Acher

No Fly Zone

I can't believe that I am here
In the oval Office. and am
With the President's eye and ear.
He seems not pleased with me - oh damn!
I see him irked, raising his hand.
Nervous, I try to settle down.
I simply do not understand
Why he calls me a nasty noun.
I get the Presidential swat,
Before I have time to say "bye."
P.E.T.A. thinks I should have been caught
And then let out of doors - this fly.

But, alas, it is not to be -
To bounce my grandkids on my knee.

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

Sonnet On It

A novel on a toilet roll!
What will we writers think of next?
Marketing is often the goal
To induce sales with some pretext.
But since my sense sonnets are free,
Feel free to download them and go
To your reading room, comps on me.
My sonnets go well with the flow.
Achers, Chillers and Pumpers are
With Steamers and Ticklers to choose.
Enough to last and go as far
As your doing business cruise.

They tweek your mind, my sonnets do,
A perfect take with number two.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

Ima Ryma

Ima Ryma has tales to tell
In 14 lines of metered rhyme.
Stories of fact and fiction dwell
Together from all place and time,
Meant to make sense as they are read.
Might a chiller or an acher
To be sent today, or instead,
Might a steamer or a pumper
Or a tickler to pop into
The all cyberspace travelogue,
And await a visit from you
Into my Ima Ryma blog.

Ima hoping you'll visit me,
And Sense my Sonnets - all for free.

Sense Sonnet - Steamer

Tweet Twit

A tweeter, tweeting I became,
Telling all who wanted to know,
Facts about me - my age, my name,
My town and address - all did show
Here and there in many a tweet.
I tweeted all about the trip
I was taking by cruise to Crete,
All about the luxury ship.
When I returned home, I did find
All gone in a robbery crime.
The cops, I guess, tried to be kind,
When told of all my tweeting time.

Yes, my tweetings turned out to be
An ongoing ad - "Come rob me."

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

Dillinger

Dillinger - I was number one
On the Fed's list of wanted guys.
They thought their job was almost done,
But they were in for a surprise.
My girlfriend told the Feds that I
Would be at a movie with her.
When I walked out, bullets did fly.
A lot of passersby there were
That dipped their stuff into my blood
For souvenirs. And to this day
The sightings of my ghost still bud
In the movie house alley way.

The Feds told all that I was dead.
But they'd killed the wrong guy instead.

Sense Sonnet - Chiller

Sniffy Iffy

Rush Limbaugh pitches on the air
The Zicam nasal swab for colds.
With his audience Rush does share
He is swabbing as hint unfolds
That a cold is coming on him.
But what Rush does not realize,
He's lost his sense of smell - quite grim.
Because not noticed by his eyes,
His cigar drops into his crotch,
And slowly starts his pants on fire,
As his gofers helplessly watch,
Flames engulf his portly empire.

Bodily burned, but Rush will live -
Crisy critter conservative.

Sense Sonnet - Acher

Moonstruck

Why the dinosaurs disappeared -
Here's one theory on that debate.
It goes with how the moon has steered
Away from Earth each year, not great
In distance per year, but in whole,
Over 85 million years,
The moon has been on quite a roll.
Back in dino's day this big sphere's
Earth orbit was just 20 feet
Over the ground. So as the moon
Revolved, it's rock and roll did meet
And crush the dinos - bodies strewn.

The dinos may come back some day,
Now that the moon has gone away.

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

Boycott Me Not

We Kenyans know that politics
Is ever a messy affair,
Full of petty and dirty tricks.
Most of of us no longer care.
But now there is a bad boycott
By girls who say they've had enough
Of the whole mad leader male lot.
Matters of flesh - time to play rough.
No more sex till politics take
A turn for the better. But why
Should others' bad behavior make
A sleepless, anxious ridden guy?

The reason for my own such strife
Has been my sex boycotting wife!

Sense Sonnet - Steamer

Transparency

Transparency - a new fav word
Of the politicians' vocab,
Used when they really want kept blurred
To taxpayers who pay the tab.
Freedom from pretense or deceit,
Ease to see through and understand -
Tests politicians seldom meet,
Living in their fantasyland.
What politicians have lots of,
That's transparent technically,
Is all the hot air blown above
Them, talking their "transparency."

When politicians want to spend,
They blow their hot air to no end.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

Storkdotcom

My 4 year old son came to me
And asked, "Daddy, how was I born?"
The stork story - old as can be,
Needed some update to adorn.
So I told him Mom and I met
In a cyber cafe chat room.
Downloaded hard drive, I was set
To upload in your Mom's Web womb.
No firewall on, we checked too late.
The hit delete button did fail.
Nine months later - the compufate.
A pop-up popped out. We've got male.

An 8 pound bouncing baby boy -
You - a googling bundle of joy.

Sense Sonnet - Chiller

A Poe Tale

I murdered my wife in rage,
And buried her in the back yard.
In calling cops, I did engage.
For her missing, I was on guard
That I was suspect number one.
A detective comes to see me.
We go to the back yard. For fun,
I stand over where she would be.
But soon, I hear a thumping sound.
The detective is talking, yet
The thumps are coming from the ground.
Needless to say, I'm quite upset.

I claw at the dirt with my hands.
Soon the detective understands.

Sense Sonnet - Acher

Susan

Susan came onto the world stage.
We judged her odd, but then she sang.
With angel's voice, she was the rage,
A sensation burst with a bang,
Instant celebrity appeal
Mainstreamed by media in storm.
Susan was caught up in the zeal,
And ripped away from her life's norm.
We are vampirish in the way
We suck out all vitality
Of whoever's star for the day,
No matter what the cost may be.

I only hope that Susan's dream
Will not become nightmare extreme.

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

Wet Not Riddle

Four men were sailing in a boat,
Male bonding with fishing and beer.
The group was having fun afloat,
All sharing tall tales and good cheer.
One of the guys got a leg cramp,
And stood up to shake the pain out.
Back and forth he did stomp and stamp,
Causing the boat to bounce about.
And then it capsized suddenly,
And all four men fell in the drink.
They all swam to the shore's safety,
After, alas, their boat did sink.

Not a single man was wet - why?
Because each was a married guy.

Sense Sonnet - Steamer

Think Tanked

New York City has known its share
Of large aircraft flying low,
Causing disaster or just scare.
You'd think that the Fed heads would know
That doing an unannounced flight
Of a fake Air Force One, so that
The Statue of Liberty might,
Along with the plane, be filmed at
An angle that would look so swell
In ads, would cause a lot of stress.
In fact, most folks were scared as hell.
It might have been worse news, I guess -

The wannabe Air Force One crashed.
The Statue of Liberty smashed.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

Patriotic Gesture

A cemetery is nearby.
I went on Memorial Day.
All the tiny flags I did spy.
That night I scampered back that way.
I grabbed up all those tiny flags.
There were no living folks around.
And after many jigs and jags,
I got all those flags homebound.
Then I arranged them oh so nice
In patterns of red, white and blue.
The U.S.A. is paradise.
I count my blessings. Yes I do.

Each flag I proudly do unfurl.
I am a patriotic squirrel.

Sense Sonnet - Chiller

My Last Stunt

I was a talk radio star,
Always doing something to get
My ratings to zoom high and far.
Sometimes my bosses got upset.
Waterboarding was in the news.
Was it torture or was it not?
Lots of conflicting points of views.
I pitched my bosses and they bought
The great gimmick of having me
Waterboarded right on the show.
I did it, but the cost did be
My job and way of life. I know.

It caused me more than just a choke.
I had a paralysing stroke.

Sense Sonnet - Acher

Waste of Time

I've been on death row eighteen years,
For killing a mother of eight.
She begged for mercy, but her tears
Meant nothing. I still sealed her fate,
Slashing her throat in a drug craze,
Because she had no cash to give.
We then went on separate ways.
She went to die. I went to live
In a cell, while legals played out.
I cannot undo what I did,
And all the pain I caused, no doubt.
Of me, this world will be well rid.

There's really nothing left to say,
Except it's good I die today.

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

Schnooky Hooky

It was such a nice, sunny day,
And Mom had let me borrow the car
To run some errands on my way
To school. But school was just too far
To get there on time. So instead,
Playing hooky was my mindset.
I had text messages unread,
So I had replies to send yet.
So doing this, and driving too,
I did not see the squad car there,
And rammed into two men in blue.
No one was hurt, but a damn scare.

In harmony, my folks sounded.
I'm indefinitely grounded.

Sense Sonnet - Steamer

Sick for Sale

Some Apple gizmo is now sold
That has a crying baby noise.
The one whose hand has it ahold,
And is into these kind of toys,
Shakes the gizmo to hush the cries.
The picture of the baby drawn
On the monitor shows the eyes
With red Xs now gouged upon,
And the crying is now no more.
For 99 cents, the gizmo
Can add and give this fun galore.
The baby's not real - doncha know?

How low today's profiteer stoops!
An Apple spokesperson says, "Oops."

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

We are Family

We are two male penguins, who
Found an abandoned penguin egg,
And took care of it at the zoo.
We thought of the names, Meg or Greg.
Then we were the proud parents of
The cutest little hatchling chick.
We plan to give it all the love
To show it is one lucky pick
Boy or girl, we are not yet sure,
But we know what will be, will be.
The bonding ties that will endure
To keep us one as family.

We hear that humans call it gay.
We just know that it's nature's way.

Sense Sonnet - Chiller

For Hire

Nothing like getting paid to do
The doings that I do for free.
But watching me was something new.
I gave him a great show to see.
But now I'm hearing from the news,
The cops got him and he's confessed.
I'm worried that I left some clues
To my identity. I'm stressed.
Accomplices are just a pain
That complicate the special act
Of conquering her own domain.
It's a one man job - that's a fact.

I guess I knew I couldn't trust
Hubby who sold wifey for lust.

Sense Sonnet - Chiller

For Sale

I woke up and I saw him there,
A stranger grabbing at my throat.
I was panicked, and wondered where
My husband was. The worst did float
Into my mind, then back I snapped.
He whispered not to make a sound.
As I was in my own bed trapped,
My body now a battleground.
What seemed like an eternity,
He finally finished and left,
Leaving safe all my family.
He took my dignity in theft.

He confessed it all, while cops taped.
My husband paid to have me raped.

Sense Sonnet - Chiller

For Kicks

Here I am in my own bedroom
Watching my dreamed of fantasy.
All my senses around do zoom
Into the stark reality.
Whatever misgivings I had
Were quickly overcome and went,
As intense pleasurings did add.
It is the best money I spent.
Raw thrust by thrust come the attacks.
It is the turn on of my life,
The ultimate in prime climax,
Watching a stranger rape my wife.

What adds excitement to it all -
The kids are asleep down the hall.