Sense Sonnet - Acher

Distracted

It's so good to be home at last,
After a long hard day at work.
And my little enthusiast
Will give this Dad his welcome perk.
I back the car into the drive.
The garage door is opening.
I see a postal truck arrive,
And wonder what we're expecting.
Then suddenly, I hear a crunch
In the garage. The car has hit
A toy of Tommy's is my hunch.
I get out to go look at it.

Crushed under the tire is my son.
Oh my God, no! What have I done?

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

Ladies Front Santa

All Santa's reindeer, experts say,
Are really of the female type,
Since they are shown in antlered way
In pictures of holiday hype.
Male reindeer antlers would be gone
Before the time of Christmas Eve;
While females keep their antlers on
Till next spring's maternity leave.
Further proof of the reindeer sex
Is Santa does always appear
In time, as perfection directs.
But, if he were with male reindeer?

Childrens' Christmas would be the cost.
A bunch of guys only get lost.

Sense Sonnet - Steamer

Two Fer

Humans are known for stupid stuff.
Since the year, 1591,
Men try to prove they're macho tough,
And be chased by us bulls for fun,
Through the streets of Pamplona, Spain.
This year, I broke off from the pack,
And zeroed in on one lamebrain,
Giving his butt another crack
With one horn, and then the other
Horn gored a second runner by,
Who was the first gored guy's brother.
The bleeding bros got this bull's eye.

All in all, this year's race was cool.
I won the best BS gore pool.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

Spice

Spice was my gold calico cat.
When I moved, I could not find him;
And I had to travel, thinking that
Spicelessness was gonna be grim.
Across the ocean I arrived
At my new home, and settled in.
The packed boxes I sent survived.
Now unpacking - where to begin?
One of the boxes made a sound -
Weak, but familiar to my ear.
Opening the box up, I found
My fur ball, and I held him dear.

"Hugs and kisses later," meowed Spice.
"Food and water now would be nice."

Sense Sonnet - Chiller

Ride

A bunch of us are at Six Flags,
The place to go to wait in line.
My friends are full of teasing brags
That their nerve is better than mine.
I give in and agree to go
On the Tower of Power ride.
I'm scared of heights, but have to show
The others. It's a thing of pride.
At last, I'm buckled in and see
The world get smaller as I rise.
The car I'm in drops suddenly.
Almost over, I shut my eyes.

I hear me screaming in my seat.
Something's cut off both of my feet.

Sense Sonnet - Acher

Barney

My husband, Scott, and I found him
Wandering in the neighborhood.
He adopted us on a whim.
Barney, the mutt, had us for good.
We had 3 kids and raised them fine,
With Barney there to supervise.
The years went by; nature's design
Crippled Barney before our eyes.
Barney was now an old, sick pup.
We both knew what had to be done.
Scott put Barney in the pickup.
I also saw Scott had his gun.

Scott said Barney quickly died.
Then Scott sat down. We cried and cried.

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

Just Can't Be Believed

A bunch of politicians were
Aboard a bus on a back road,
When a tire blowout did occur.
Farmer Brown found the wrecked bus load,
Upside down in his field of corn.
He buried all the bodies there;
Then got the sheriff on the horn,
Reporting on the whole affair.
When Farmer Brown's report was done,
The sheriff thanked him and then said,
"It's too bad that everyone"
"On that bus had to end up dead."

"Most said they weren't," Brown did reply.
"You know how politicians lie!"

Sense Sonnet - Steamer

Barrier

I was raped by a man I knew.
He was arrested and charged fast.
There was enough evidence to
Get a sure guilty verdict cast.
But, English was not understood
Enough by the accused, and so
The Court said a translator should
Be found before the trial could go.
No one was found over 3 years,
And so the charges were dismissed.
No speedy trial, so it appears
Some wrong rights can and do exist.

Justice is nowhere to be found,
If a translator's not around.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

Stage Presence

You came onto the faith biz scene
With hubby, Jim, and used T.V.
To build an empire. You were queen,
Batting those eyelashes on key,
To persuade the viewers to send
More money to your ministry.
Scandal brought that show to an end.
You cut your losses (and hubby),
And kept performing smaller scale
To stay within the public eye.
And even as your health did fail,
You would not let your fanfare die.

You came onto the stage to stay.
Take another bow, Tammy Faye.

Sense Sonnet - Chiller

Hot Wired


I was doing my normal jog,
Listening to the iPod tunes,
Part of my normal travelogue
Through the park in breezy croons.
The sky was becoming downcast.
There was a flash and next I knew,
An ambulance was moving fast,
And the reason was crispy me.
Apparently, lightening had struck,
And travelled through my iPod wires,
Causing multi burns, but by luck,
None were gonna be fatal fires.


I guess it could have been much worse.
My last trip might have been by hearse.

Sense Sonnet - Acher

Agonizing

My daughter, Grace, was 3 years old.
I thought she was taking a nap.
There was no noise in the household.
I smiled at this peaceful time gap.
But, she had slept enough, so I
Went to her room, but she was not
There. So I called out, but no reply.
Maybe she's just hiding, I thought.
I searched the house, then went inside,
There she was in the swimming pool.
I wish it had been me that died.
My guilt and grief have been so cruel.

I wish I could give it away -
That empty pool reminds each day.

Sense Sonnet - Chiller

Bite Beware

I was sitting in the airport
On a toilet seat in the john,
When I felt a pinch of some sort,
And found a spider crawling on
My buttock. I killed it and took
It to a doctor to check out.
Described in a rare disease book
As causing death without a doubt,
If bitten by a butt spider.
Indigenous to just Haiti,
A cold, dark, damp place resider,
Like any toilet bowl, maybe.

Don't let my butt bug bite repeat.
Check underneath each toilet seat.

Sense Sonnet - Steamer

Inconvenience

I'm trying to get shopping done.
These two gals are having a fight.
I see one stab the other one,
Then run away into the night.
Meanwhile, the stabbed gal staggers round,
And finally drops to the floor.
She's just lying there on the ground.
Isn't this a convenience store?
In order to get stuff I need,
Several times I have to climb
Over her - a put off, indeed.
I take a cell pic the last time.

I can make some money, I bet,
Posting it on the Internet.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

Wiz Biz

Harry Potter came into mind
Of a woman, while on a train.
She was in a financial bind,
And daydreaming relieved the strain.
She then began to pen her thoughts,
And her imaginings took form.
The wizardry wove through the plots.
The wiz kid took the world by storm.
In print, in film, in knicks and knacks,
The Pottermania runs wild,
Cashing in on the maniacs.
Harry rocks - the dreamer's brainchild.

Harry Potter, out of thin air,
Turned broke into a billionaire.

Sense Sonnet - Chiller

Did You See That?

At the time the movie was seen,
Psycho was a first of its time.
Alfred Hitchcock brought to the big screen
New ways to look at a grisly crime.
The bathroom was a focal set,
Where Norman Bates made the blood flow
Down the drain in black and white wet,
As music marked each stabbing blow.
But, eyebrows did not raise so much
About the carnage in the tub;
It was the filming of the touch
Of something else that caused the rub.

Breaking the taboo that cheeks blushed,
The film first showed a toilet flushed.

Sense Sonnet - Acher

Blow Up in My Face

I went to the mailbox out front,
And put some firecrackers inside.
I knew it was a silly stunt,
But one I had not ever tried.
Lighting a fuse, closing the flap,
Backing away, to take in whole,
The hoped for awesome booming clap,
Blowing that box right off its pole.
Nothing - the fuse must have gone out.
Back I go to retry the chore.
I was surprised without a doubt,
A big boom, then I saw no more.

I guess I was a lucky guy.
I only lost sight in one eye.

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

Urgent Urge

Two spotted owls sat on a limb.
He was coming on strong to her.
She was not in the mood for him.
Would or would not romance occur?
He threw his lines in hooting bliss.
The moon was full over the lake.
He got no further than a kiss;
Her excuse, "I've got a headache."
He persisted, this horny owl,
To have his way with her in bed.
Not ready to throw in the towel,
He put his wise look on, and said,

"An endangered species - that's us."
"We're duty bound to foreplay - plus."

Sense Sonnet - Steamer

Equal Opportunity

Some states allow a gun permit
To qualified ones without sight.
If someone is otherwise fit,
But blind, why deny one that right?
The odds are that blind folks would not
Be of the manners or the means
For crime reasons guns are shot.
Blind persons seldom cause crime scenes.
But, the blind are often the prey
Of those who think they can attack,
And do their harm, then get away.
Give the blind a chance to fight back.

Predators of criminal mind
Deserve to mess with the armed blind.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

Hand It to Mom

We were walking to the ball park.
Mom was my biggest baseball fan.
"Big little leaguer," she'd remark.
We turned the corner. Sounds began
Of someone screaming from above.
A dangling infant we could see
Holding onto the railing of
The 3rd or 4th floor balcony.
Mom quickly got right underneath,
Just as the child lost grip and fell.
I watched Mom with gritted teeth,
Smoothly catch the child, safe and well.

At the game, I caught balls in play.
But, Mom made the catch of the day.

Sense Sonnet - Chiller

Pissed

I was driving home late at night,
Alone taking back country roads.
I was heavy into beers light,
Listening to radio melodes.
Nature was calling loud and clear.
I pulled over next to a field.
There was a scarecrow standing near.
Its moonlit straw body appealed
To just where I would take a whiz.
I covered it with my relief;
Then turned around, done with my biz.
The next thing was beyond belief!

Something was choking my throat raw,
And my nose was smelling wet straw.

Sense Sonnet - Acher

Falling Bridge

We were on our way to the game.
It was a family event.
A summer outing was the aim
To watch the Twins winning intent,
Halfway across the Mississip,
The bridge began to make strange sounds.
Countless times, we'd driven this trip,
Minneapolis' main inbounds.
The pavement underneath gave way,
And opened up. The car fell through.
There was no time, even to pray.
Then all went black, and silent too.

The rescuers saved me, half drowned.
My family was never found.

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

Which Switch?

The funeral service was done.
As the widow walked to the car,
She paused to ask the mortician,
A favor just a bit bizarre.
Could her deceased husband be changed
From brown into a suit of blue?
He told her it would be arranged,
Before the burial went through.
The mortician grabbed Ralph, his aide,
"Quick, switch the brown suit on this gent"
"With the male corpse in the blue suede."
Later, Ralph was asked how it went.

"There was no time to switch the threads,"
"And so instead, I switched the heads."

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

For the Moment

Barry Bonds. for home crowds to see,
Hits the ball to right center field,
Into the stands and history.
A new home run record is sealed.
Whatever happened in the past
Has small import compared to now.
The magic moment may not last,
But glows bright as triumphs allow.
Around the bases, he runs king,
Cheered on by multitudes of fans,
Each feeling a part of something
Etched specially in baseball's spans.

Barry Bonds hits that famed home run.
At home plate, he's met by his son.

Sense Sonnet - Steamer

Beware Unilateral Parents

I am a single parent of
A teenage child, and so of course,
I am concerned parental love
Might not be enough to enforce
My efforts to convince my kid
That laws are written to protect
From harm, and not just to forbid.
Often parents seem to neglect
The fact that underage drinking
Is unlawful and should not be
Condoned due to parents thinking -
Better at home than on a spree.

Other parents should not just choose
Whether or not my child drinks booze.

Sense Sonnet - Acher

Be at Home - Unilateral Parenting

It's likely high schoolers will drink.
What's a parent supposed to do?
I did a reasonable thing, I think,
Letting the kids party. I knew
They'd bring booze to my home, so I
Told them at the start, they could not
Drive if they drank, and I'd rely
That they all would behave as they ought.
If young people are given trust,
They can act in a grown up way.
Two boys ignored what I'd discussed,
Drunk in their car with hell to pay.

I told them both they could not drive.
If they'd listened, they'd be alive.

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

Steamed Goat

The Browns invited Pastor Potts
To have dinner with them that night.
Mr. Brown had reluctant thoughts;
But, it was their turn to invite.
Pastor Potts called to ask about
Directions, which Mrs. Brown gave.
The Pastor said he'd be right out,
Unless he found a soul to save.
Soon at the door, the Pastor stood.
Young Tommy went to let him in.
The Pastor asked what smelled so good?
"Goat," Tommy replied with a grin.

"That's what I heard my Daddy say -"
"That the old goat was on his way."

Sense Sonnet - Steamer

A Matter of Taste

Horse meat is eaten by some folk,
As routinely as pork or beef.
The thought makes many want to choke,
Who think such choice beyond belief.
Why do so many feel such pain
In knowing that humans do eat
Anything lower in the food chain?
'Cause underneath it's only meat.
The noble horse is meant for more,
And should be spared insult, some say,
At death being butchered up for
Some tasteless human fiend's entree.

Rumor has it, chefs served prime horse.
Broiled Barbaro was the main course.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

Awakening

I wake up and someone cries out,
"It's a miracle. He's awake."
People are moving all about.
What's happening for heaven's sake?
The next few hours, I am told
That because of an accident,
I have been in a coma's hold,
And lots of time has come and went.
I don't remember what was past.
It all is so strange to me now.
But, I hope the wake up will last,
Until I can catch up somehow.

I could hardly believe my ears.
My coma lasted 20 years.

Sense Sonnet - Chiller

Neighbor

I saw the cop cars parked next door.
The neighbor's child had disappeared.
It had happened a week before,
And now the very worst was feared.
It must be hell on family,
Not knowing but trying to cope
With such personal tragedy,
Holding out that glimmer of hope.
Lots of us had searched all around
Areas of the neighborhood,
Searching every bit of ground.
But, so far it had done no good.

In my basement, there's hidden space.
The kid's chained up tight in that place.

Sense Sonnet - Acher

Avenging

My daughter got hooked on cocaine.
Her boyfriend was the biggest cause.
Because of him, she went insane,
A junkie grabbing at sick straws.
Turning the tricks he told her to,
For money to keep them both high;
Doing the worst that one can do,
Just to stay stoned and please her guy.
She was found in a dumpster - dead.
I found the boyfriend home alone,
And held my pistol to his head.
Told him it was time to atone.

I made it look like suicide,
Stuffing drugs down until he died.

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

Strings Attached

Jack Benny was a comic great;
As violinist, he was not.
Though sometimes labelled a cheapskate,
His violin was worth a lot.
Invited to a fancy fling
At the White House to entertain;
He brought along his sidekick string.
Waiting for clearance to obtain,
Benny held the large case with care.
The guard inquired of him in fun,
"Is that a weapon you've got there?"
Benny deadpanned, "Yes, it's a gun."

"Okay, Mr. Benny - come in;"
"As long as there's no violin."