Sense Sonnet - Pumper

Dwarf Croc - LP Zoo

I am called a dwarf crocodile.
At times my mouth is open wide.
It's not really so much I smile,
As for cooling off my inside.
Open wide and my teeth do show,
All the better on fish to feed.
I'm from Africa - doncha know!
But Lincoln Park Zoo fills my need.
Good food, fresh water and hot rocks.
This bask of crocs do bask - we do.
There's Mom and six of us kid crocs,
Seven dwarfs of us at the Zoo.

What would be an awesome delight
Would be a visit from Snow White.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

Othsome

Three weeks, sloths know that it is time
To head down to the ground to poop.
Moths lay eggs in it as prime
Hatching locale. Once born, moths loop
To the trees and into sloths' fur,
Bringing nitrogen to help grow
The kind of algae that for sure
Is sloths' real yum yum - doncha know!
It also gives sloths energy
Ev'ry three weeks at nature's call
To make the symbiosis be
A sloth/moth partnership for all.

An odd couple - the three toed sloth
Teamed up with the pyralid moth.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

Blyth's Hornbill - LP Zoo

Mr. Blyth's Hornbill is my name,
Named after some zoologist,
Who wanted class bird claim to fame,
Typical human egotist.
Me and the Missus, we both do
Plan on having a baby bird,
Right here at the Lincoln Park Zoo.
Itchings for family get stirred.
When it's that time, the Missus will
Mud seal herself in a tree hole.
I'll take her snackies bill to bill.
While she nests, fetchin' tiz my role.

I hear the Missus calling me,
So gotta go, or hot she'll be.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

Make a Date

Dating gender neutrality,
Problematic when face to face,
So solve this by technology.
An avatar can take the place,
In a Star Trek type hologram.
The daters program the details,
All bared for mutual exam,
Set for agreed upon avails.
The sensations shared as for real.
The sights and smells and tastes and sounds
And touches that have date appeal.
No fantasy be out of bounds.

Avatars make a date enriched.
Genitalia can be switched.

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

Jersey Versey

"It is time for a traffic jam."
"To punish the jerks at Fort Lee."
"I am a bully, yes I am,"
"To those who do not support me."
"Now do this really on the sly,"
"No email trail to be found out."
"And if you're caught, don't wonder why"
"You're thrown under the bus - don't doubt!"
"The GWB is where"
"We stick it to no friends of mine,"
"And shove the lesson way up there,"
"To make the point where sun don't shine,"

"So while you're closing down the bridge,"
"I'll be opening up the fridge."

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

Dwarf Mongooses - LP Zoo

We are dwarf mongooses (not geese).
We are a mammal (not a bird).
Parents with pups, we keep the peace,
Without needing to say a word.
Our family pack live here
In great digs at the Lincoln Park Zoo.
Large pointed head, long tail, small ear.
We have nice soft fur - yes we do.
From Africa, called dwarf becuz
There we're the smallest carnivore,
Bugs, reptiles, birds and rodents does
Make our list at nature's store.

Small mammal house is where we're at.
So come on by - we'll have a chat.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

Takin to Task - LP Zoo

Life for a Sichuan takin
Is fun at the Lincoln Park Zoo.
Enrichment is really rockin'
In pinatas the keepers do.
Is there a tiger in my space?
In the wild this would not be good.
I'm not scared coming face to face,
Pretend predator - understood.
I nuzzle up and sniff it out.
It is a keeper work of art.
Eyeballing's not what it's about.
It is there to be torn apart.

A paper tiger I can beat,
Chew up until I find the treat.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

Cubbie Clark

First time ever - Chicago Cubs
Get a Cubs official mascot.
Hope tiz not one of hiring flubs
That's kept a World Series win - not.
A cartoonish young bear named Clark.
(One of the streets, Wrigley Field's on.)
Will this new mascot be the spark
To make the curse to lose be gone?
Jersied but pantsless (not obscene).
"Purists" prob'ly will make a flap
That the uniform does demean.
Clark is wearing a backwards cap.

A winning team? Take any chance,
Even a mascot with no pants.

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

The Sneeze of Sponge Bob

Sponge Bob blew out a great big sneeze.
All of Bikini Bottom shook.
Pet snail, Gary, meowed, "Golly! Geez!"
And gave Sponge Bob a puzzled look.
The pineapple house dripped in snot.
Sponge Bob was so proud of his blow,
"Humans don't think us sponges got"
"The mindset to sneeze, doncha know!"
"Sandy Cheeks squirrel can spread the word,"
"Next time she heads out of the sea,"
"That humans again think absurd"
"About how nature truly be."

A sneezing Sponge Bob doll now is
Blowing away merchandise biz.

Sense Sonnet - Acher

Stuart Sutcliffe

Stuart Sutcliffe played in a band
Called the Black Jacks, then Quarry Men,
Then Johnny and the Moondogs, and
Stuart was playing the bass when
The foursome wanted a new name.
Stuart came up with word play on
Crickets of Buddy Holly fame.
But soon after, Stuart was gone.
He went to Germany, found love,
Gave up music to study art.
An aneurysm he died of,
Age 22 he did depart.

So Stuart Sutcliffe - who was he?
He made the name, "The Beatles" be.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

Tigerfish

Africa has no tiger cat,
But boasts having the tigerfish.
Oh my, what razor sharp teeth that
I have to use in yearning wish
To leap from lake into the air,
And grab a bird that's flying by.
Quite a surprised bird that I'm there.
What's a fish doing in the sky?
For me to do so takes great skill.
First I must spot, then get up speed,
Compensate angles, then I will
Defy norm nature - yes indeed!

A barn swallow comes into view.
I leap and swallow - yes I do.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

To Red Wolves' Good Health - LP Zoo

A foursome of red wolves do roam,
Protected from the threats in wild,
Lincoln Park Zoo is for them home,
And data on them is compiled.
When a red wolf does not feel well,
Right quick diagnosis must be made.
From poop samples, humans can tell
What is needed in health care aid.
But which wolf pooped the bad health poop?
Dif'rent colored glitter is placed
In the food of all the wolf group.
Who eats what is carefully traced.

Though all that glitters is not gold,
When a wolf's ill - lo and behold.

Sense Sonnet - Steamer

Working for Ford

Henry Ford did shock the U.S.
1914 he doubled pay
Of his workers to great success,
Figuring this was the best way
For more U.S. prosperity.
Flash forward to 2010,
A banner year for Ford to be,
Most U.S. workers having been
Fired in favor of foreign hire,
Who would work twenty times as cheap.
Ford, Inc. now a global empire,
U.S. labor - no need to keep.

The more profits, cut labor cost.
Henry Ford's lesson has been lost.

Sense Sonnet - Chiller

Laser Edge

Laser technology - hope tiz
To turn it into weaponry,
For low cost, high functioning biz
Of armed destruction globally.
Increasing kilowatts to kill
Whatever at the speed of light,
Will just need mediocre skill
By humans to target the sight.
To optimize laser success,
Weather needs to cooperate.
Maybe do not attack unless
"Good forecast" weather folks do state.

Laser weapons - it's about time
To modernize warfare and crime.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

Tawny Frogmouth - LP Zoo

A tawny frogmouth - yes I be.
From the land down under I roam,
A tawny feathered bird to see.
The Lincoln Park Zoo is my home.
Humans oft take me for an owl,
Nocturnal, wide eyed, rounded head.
But frogmouth is a unique fowl.
Owls say, "Who." We say, "Oom" instead.
Humans gave us the frogmouth name,
Kind of a stretch as humans do.
Eating insects is my main aim.
Calling humans frogmouth - more true.

"Oom, oom, oom," is how I relate
To all who visit, "G'day mate!"

Sense Sonnet - Steamer

Global Threat

The United States was war born,
Took its "manifest destiny"
By bearing arms, leaving war torn,
Home of the brave, land of the free.
Elites built an empire by war.
We the People got sold on lies,
The world was less, but We were more
Moral, so deserved any prize.
We bully and meddle worldwide,
But can't seem to understand why
The world seems not real gratified
By all the wars we justify.

The United States preaches peace,
But really wants war not to cease.

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

Sunnyside

The competition is intense,
When there's aroma of the prize.
The smorgasbord lures the presense
Of multitudes of gals and guys.
Get in, get out - that is the key
Of grabbing gusto from the pile.
A GPS there needs to be,
For a quick straight line back, I'll
Roll the ball of poop, my takeout,
Keeping the sun on my same side.
We dung beetles are smart - no doubt.
We take our poop with great pride.

So here's a tip - do pass it on.
Dung balls best rolled at dusk or dawn.

Sense Sonnet - Steamer

Anana in the News - LP Zoo

The news reports are ev'rywhere.
Too cold Chicago weather blew
For Anana, the polar bear,
Snugged inside the Lincoln Park Zoo.
But Brookfield's Aussie was outside,
And this reflects badly on me.
No one has more pure polared pride.
My keepers know how miffed I be,
That I was stuck against my will,
In climate controlled coziness.
My growls at them gave icy chill,
For causing me to get bad press.

Those who make me out as a wuss,
I'd like to slap right in the puss.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

Snowy Owl - LP Zoo

Call me one happy snowy owl,
Outside at the Lincoln Park Zoo,
As arctic sub zero winds howl,
Freezing Chicago through and through.
Perched on high in my habitat,
Warm in my snowy, feathered cloak.
The lack of humans, I muse that
Tiz time for how cold is it joke.
"Too cold. Too cold." humans complain.
"It is so cold," humans do shout,
And these words form an icy chain.
Each such complaint must be thawed out.

Come visit me when super cold.
Stop the complaining - be super bold.

Sense Sonnet - Acher

War Against Malaria

Weapons of mass destruction be
Borne by mosquitoes world wide spread.
Malaria - the enemy.
Ev'ry few seconds - a child dead.
Nations with the resources could
Ally for the purpose to fight
A war that really could do good,
A war waged true in name of right.
Malaria has lost before
In nations with the ways and means
To fight disease and win the the war,
The world armed with better vaccines.

The mideast wars - trillions spent on.
Billions - malaria be gone.

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

Pole Test

I hear that humans think us dogs
Poop and pee to the south or north.
The humans have deep dialogues,
All sorts of theories pondered forth.
Magnetic poles - one theory is,
That draw us dogs to face that way,
The better to do our biz.
Just why - humans have yet to say.
My human with his wife did talk
'Bout testing this theory on me.
Next time I took him for a walk,
I did mess with his mind with glee.

He watched me fail the human test.
I did pee east and did poop west.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

I am Gibbon - LP Zoo

"Mom, tell me again who am I?"
"You are a white cheeked gibbon boy."
"Here at Lincoln Park Zoo is why"
"You'll have a good life, and enjoy"
"What most our species do not,"
"Outside a zoo, endangered be."
"But here a family you've got."
"And you will grow with Dad and me,"
"And with humans who really care,"
"That you grow up safe and well."
"So few of us, so we do share"
"With other zoos where we do dwell."

"One day at a zoo, near or far,"
"You'll tell your children who they are."

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

Believe at Odds

A theist and atheist were
Next door neighbors who disagreed.
The theist believed God was sure,
And would provide for a real need.
The theist needed groceries,
And prayed loud, which was overheard
By the atheist who did seize
The chance to prove God was absurd.
Groceries the atheist bought,
Giving them all to the theist,
Saying that God provided not.
The theist said God does exist.

"I got groceries by God's will."
"God made the devil pay the bill."

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

Choice Between

Harry and I went hunting deer.
I shot me a very huge buck.
Harry was not full of good cheer,
Cuz Harry wasn't having luck.
'Twas getting dark, so Harry sped,
Chasing shadows among the trees.
Harry fainted, but was not dead,
But would not get up either - geez!
So back to the main camp I went,
Carrying the buck on my back.
Others there did seem to resent
That of Harry, I had lost track.

A tough decision it did be.
But who is gonna steal Harry!

Sense Sonnet - Steamer

Empty Prayer

In this year, two thousand thirteen,
We still pray for a better world.
Bits of better come in between
The waves of worse that we have hurled.
When God reviews the humankind,
We surely must fall short of be
Bettering all heart, soul and mind.
Self only serves self selfishly.
Most humans only seek to win,
And do so with lies and deceit.
What we do better is to sin.
Winning is better than defeat.

A better world we all pray for.
We don't believe it any more.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

Bee My Passionfruit

I am a passionfruit, and do
Have a passion for honey bees,
Cuz my pollination needs to
Be buzzed by bees, and so I please
Do invite bees on me to dine
On my sweet nectar they do drink,
Sending tingles all down my vine.
No underage bee served - wink wink!
So honey bees come one, come all,
And after nectar libation,
Pay up big from past pollen haul,
No need for a reservation.

So more the bees buzz me galore,
More bees do make my passion more.

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

Hogmanay

Celebration of the New Year
In Scotland is called Hogmanay.
One custom to bring household cheer -
Get some river water, and spray
All the stuff and people inside.
Then seal the house up snug and tight.
Juniper branches - keep them dried
Enough to smoke when put alight.
When all are coughing and sneezing,
Fling open all window and door,
For fresh New Year air that's pleasing
To enter the house and restore.

When the "restorative" is done,
Some whiskey for everyone.

Sense Sonnet - Chiller

Going One Way

To socialized medicine is
Where progressives want the U.S.
To go. Scrap the insurance biz.
By dragging us all through a mess,
We the People get played for dumb,
Enough of us back and forth fooled.
All the antics do turn us numb,
Like zombies, so easily ruled,
To just go with progressive flow,
From birth to death in nanny state,
Told how to progress - doncha know!
Some fight this force, but it's too late.

Single payer will be the way.
Higher taxes we all will pay.

Sense Sonnet - Steamer

Poppins Premier

P.L. (Pamela) Travers wrote
"Mary Poppins" the nanny who
Walt Disney managed to devote
To a masterpiece movie, true.
Travis and Disney disagreed
On how the movie should be made.
Travis, quite upset, did proceed
At the premier in a tirade
To demand that Disney remake,
So like the book, the film would be.
It was more than Disney could take.
"Mary Poppins" was destiny.

"There must be changes," Travis wailed.
Disney replied, "That ship has sailed."

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

Armadillo Ball - LP Zoo

What can an armadillo do?
Well I have 3 bands, doncha know,
And here at the Lincoln Park Zoo,
My bands are on my armor, so
Like hinges I can make them move
So that my armor shell will roll
Into a ball when I behoove
All of my body, mind and soul.
And there I am inside my shell,
Snug and safe from the world outside.
I can stay therein quite a spell,
Until I choose to open wide.

A happy New Year to you all.
I'll drop down as a New Year's ball.

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

Tourna(excre)ment

A time and place to come and try
To be the champion for the prize.
The scent attracting swarms to vie.
Awinged enmasse destiny flies
Like jousting knights in colored flair,
Hoping to gain the favored nod
Of the opposite sex so fair.
Food and frolic to feed the bod.
Contenders joust upon the field,
Bestowed by nature as a "gift,"
Until the contenders all yield
To a new game that has been sniffed.

Nothing like a fresh pile of dung
To rally flies near and far flung.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

Custom Designed - LP Zoo

Human visitors I welcome
All to my gorilla home pad,
Designed and built by insight from
Making zoo lifestyle good, not bad.
Plenty of room, inside and out,
Lots of strong glass to show my space,
Beams and levels to climb about,
A manmade great gorilla place.
Angles and corners where I chill,
Everchanging stuff to explore.
I can be bouncy or be still.
Free room and board - who could want more!

Sights here at the Lincoln Park Zoo.
Do you see me? I do see you.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

Tobacco Hornworm

I am a tobacco hornworm.
So guess what I do like to eat?
Onto tobacco leaves I squirm.
The plant does nicotine secrete,
To keep most animals away.
But nicotine gives me a shot
At not becoming someone's prey.
So I like nicotine a lot.
When a spider or wasp tries to
Snack on me, they turn tail and flee,
Hit by all the bad breath I blew.
They want nothing to do with me.

The less likely predator death,
The more I maximize bad breath.

Sense Sonnet - Acher

Orion the Hunter

Orion was a hunter great.
Goddess Diana loved him most.
Her brother Apollo did hate
Orion for his mortal boast.
So he tricked Diana to shoot
Her arrow at a target far,
Not knowing that its fatal route
Would pierce Orion in death scar.
When Diana saw what she'd done,
In grief she gave Orion to
The heavens as the hunter one
For all the world his hunt to view.

Watch Orion in the stars where
Forever Orion hunts there.

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

Speed Date

I get older, time's running out.
For the young waste of time to find
That this love is the one, no doubt.
I have such romance on my mind.
I am so busy with the stuff
That give me notice as success,
I don't seem to have time enough
To toil at love, I must confess.
Hitting love with a rifle is
Mostly a miss on a long shot.
Since I wanna up the odds biz,
A short range shotgun's what I got.

Hurry to love, I just can't wait.
Maybe love's on this next speed date.

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

Bo and the Tweet

When I get a tweet from the Prez,
I say to myself, "Bo be strong."
No matter what stupid it says,
Just be a good dog - play along.
The Prez tweets spending December,
Talk of getting health insurance.
P.J.s, hot choc'late - remember
To get talking - no deterrence.
Pic of a nerdy looking guy,
P.J. plaid clad and cup in hand.
The drink therein? - kind of looks high.
Insured to never understand.

The time when oops and tech would meet,
The time the Prez learned how to tweet.

Sense Sonnet - Chiller

Why Worry?

There's two things to worry about.
Either you're well or you are sick.
If well then no worry no doubt.
If sick then two worries to pick.
Either you'll get well or you'll die.
If you get well, then why worry.
If you die, two options apply.
Could heaven be or could hell be.
If it's heaven where off you go,
Then there is no worry for you.
If you go to hell, doncha know,
There's lots of worry there to do.

Spend an eternity in hell,
And you will get to worry well.

Sense Sonnet - Ticker

Stretch to Last Line

A Russian couple in Moscow
Are taking a walk down the street
He feels something wet hit his brow
It could be rain or snow or sleet.
And then she says, "It feels like snow."
Just then a communist comes by.
"Let's ask comrade Rudolph - he'll know."
So they ask Rudolph - his reply.
"It's raining of course," and walked on.
"I still think it's snow," she persists,
Now that Rudolph has come and gone.
Irritatedly, he insists,

"It's not snow. It's rain. Is that clear?"
"Cuz Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear!"

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

Prez Assessor

I got elected to be Prez.
In the White House on my first night,
Washington's ghost appears and says,
"Never tell a lie." Oh yeah, right!
The next night there's Jefferson's ghost.
"Listen to the people," I'm told.
Hey the people just whine the most.
Promise what all to keep high polled.
The third night, Lincoln's ghost appeared,
"Any fool the people advice?"
I asked, "How 'bout I grow a beard?"
The look on Abe's face was not nice.

From Lincoln, this advice I got,
"Go to the theater a lot."

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

Until Death Do Us Disney World

Mike is visiting his Granddad.
His Mom dropped him off for the day.
After a while, asks the young lad,
"Grandpa, do you know what frogs say?"
Grandpa answers, "Of course I do."
Mike then asks if Grandpa could make
A frog sound, "Oh Grandpa would you?"
Grandpa's thinking, "Gimme a break."
But Grandpa says to Mike instead,
"Not right now, cuz my throat is sore."
"Why is this frog stuff in your head?"
So Mike explained what it was for.

"We're off to Disney World - no joke."
"But first Mom says you have to croak."

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

Pet peeve

You just up and push me away
From a perfectly good leg hump.
Others smell farts - 'twas me you say.
We both know their true source of rump.
At last you take me for a walk.
I do my biz in my own time,
But all you do is watch the clock,
Longer I take, bigger the crime.
When I sniff the crotches of guests,
Lame apologies you do make.
Is it my fault I've failed in quests
To master a proper handshake?

Just some pet peeves this dog has got.
Humans do peeve this dog a lot.

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

Fleeter of Foot

Two hunters walking through the wood.
Suddenly there's a grizzly bear.
Dropping their guns as scaredies would,
They both start running out of there.
Their hunting boots make running slow.
The bear is catching up real fast.
One hunter deboots on the go,
Leaving the other hunter passed,
Who yells to him, "You can't outrun"
"A hungry bear - that's just crazy."
"Let's think 'bout what else could be done."
Ahead hunter does disagree,

"Only one thing I have to do,"
"And that thing is just outrun you."

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

Mutual Benefit

Human domestication by
The what would become household cat,
Is probably thanks to rats - why?
Cats are drawn where rodents are at,
As a good source for food and fun.
As humans left the caves to farm,
A lot of rat damage was done
To the grown grains. To stop this harm,
The humans and cats struck a deal.
The cats would rats exterminate,
In return for steady home meal.
A purrfect match this did create.

A scratching back concept of yore.
Of course cats scratch humans more.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

Peter O'Toole

A hellraiser - Peter O'Toole,
He could nail that role drunk  or not.
From T.E. Lawrence - new kid cool
Through roles that turned him old star hot.
A record eight nominations
By Oscar - best actor to be.
No win for all these flirtations,
Did accept an honorary.
His imagination he used
To link to called for emotion.
The hard drunk role he oft abused,
But all in all he lived life fun.

Peter O'Toole entertained well.
Dead, but likely still raising hell.

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

Eye on High

A monkey's sitting in a tree,
Smoking a joint. Along does come
A lizard, and by the monkey,
Stops for a moment to share some.
Then to the river, thirsty, goes,
And runs into a crocodile,
Who tells the lizard its high shows.
"Hit?" the lizard asks with a smile.
The croc says sure. The lizard tells
About the monkey in tree high.
From the lizard the croc propels,
And finds the monkey and says, "Hi."

The monkey can't think what to think.
"Hey dude, how much did you drink?"

Sense Sonnet - Steamer

Onward Christian Soldiers

Traditional Christians - speak out.
Truth can be told, naughty or nice.
Free speech is not what it's about.
It's freedom to make sacrifice.
Today's world is offended by
The truth of what Christians do speak.
Preferred is inoffensive lie.
In truth there's no turn other cheek.
As condemners do swarm around,
Screeching such truth not be allowed,
But each to truth, each need be bound,
No matter how much disavowed.

Christians speak out upon this Earth.
Not speaking truth has no true worth.