Sense Sonnet - Tickler

 Thrifty Therapy

A couple in their seventies

In extramarital affair

Sought a sex therapist to please

Counsel them and bill Medicare.

So once a week the therapist

Watched the couple as they had sex.

Fulfillment for both did exist.

Therapy reason did perplex

The therapist, at last to ask

The couple why have therapy,

Which seemed for them a needless task.

The couple said the reason be,

"This arrangement works out so well,"

"Much thriftier than a hotel."

Sense Sonnet - Chiller

 Her Lasting Laughter

The wife got into habit of

Laughing at me no matter what.

As time went by the more she'd love

To watch how each of her laughs cut

Deeply into my self esteem.

I tried talking to her of course,

But to no avail it did seem.

With her laughter came no remorse.

Her laughing at me became hell.

In furied fit, I murdered her,

Was caught, and now in my jail cell

Her laughter I still must endure.

I still hear the wife's shrill laughter

Haunting me from the hereafter.

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

 Wishful Drinking

From my rowboat, rowing I saw

In the calm lake a lamp float by.

Curious, so closer I draw,

And grabbed the lamp and rubbed it dry.

Then, poof, there popped out a genie,

Who told me that I had one wish,

(A cutback from the normal three.)

Since I loved to drink like a fish,

What to wish for was oh so clear.

So I made that wish on the spot,

And the whole lake turned into beer.

But then I had a second thought.

When my bladder reached over bloat,

I would have to pee in the boat.

Sense Sonnet - Chiller

 Murder of Humpty Dumpty

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,

Watching some black birds fly above.

Humpty began a mocking call

To the birds with the taunting of,

"Black bird, black bird baked in a pie."

The birds, on hearing Humpty, were

Quite peeved and flew down from the sky,

Attack on Humpty to occur,

Dive bombing Humpty viciously,

Until off the wall Humpty fell,

In pieces on the ground did be,

Humpty Dumpty all smashed to hell.

Humpty Dumpty's crackup was grim.

The murder of crows murdered him.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

 You are My Guest

The daughter of a geisha and

A samurai, I honor both,

Devote my life to understand

Both arts and crafts, my sacred oath,

Japan's traditions to fulfill,

The geisha's artistry and grace,

The samurai's combative skill,

Giving each proper time and place.

So I invite you to share tea,

And entertain you to my best,

My dance and song and poetry.

I treat you as a special guest.

A good guest gets my warm reward.

A bad guest gets my sharp, cold sword.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

 Cheese Whiz

Mouse looked out of his hole to see

A cheese wheel on the table top.

But beneath the table there be

Cat, who Mouse knew would try to stop

Him from obtaining this cheese wheel.

So Mouse thought up a plan that could

Trick Cat, Mouse let out a loud squeal,

Causing Cat to arch her back good,

Knocking the table enough to

Jiggle a lot the wheel of cheese,

Causing it some movement to do,

Letting Mouse's plan work with ease.

Mouse set the cheese wheel on a roll,

Down Cat's back into Mouse's hole.

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

 My Foot in My Mouth

My five year old son got into

The habit of thumb sucking and

I wasn't sure what I should do.

Maybe a fib he'd understand,

So I said if he didn't stop

Sucking his thumb, then very soon

Most likely he was gonna pop

From blowing up like a balloon.

While at the store later that day,

A lady passed my son and me,

Very much in a pregnant way.

My five year old said seriously,

"Lady, you are blowing up from"

"Doing too much sucking your thumb."

Sense Sonnet - Acher

 My Pine Tree

Mom and Dad let me plant a tree,

A pine near the new home we bought

On acreage in the rural country.

For years we stayed, loved it a lot.

My pine tree grew up, so did I.

When I left for college I went

To my pine tree and said goodbye,

For one last look and one last scent.

After, my folks chose to retire,

They moved away to a new state.

My childhood home burned in a fire.

My pine tree suffered the same fate.

I brought my son and daughter back

To plant new trees near mine charred black.

Sense Sonnet - Chiller

 My One Evening

Poet, William Stafford, wrote of

"One Evening" he skated lone

On a frozen pond, dusk above.

I too was skating on my own

North of Liberal, so maybe

It was the same frozen pond where

His poem described as where he

Spent at least one evening there.

Like William I was about to

Head for home when I heard the sound

Of crashing ice, and I fell through.

Ever again be homeward bound?

Don't know how I'm gonna get out.

This one evening's gone bad, no doubt.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

 My Guy

My Mistah Cheetah spoils me so,

Does all the housework, letting me

Lounge by the pool getting more glow

To sexy creature that I be.

And when I'm thirsty, Hubby serves

Me a low calorie cocktail,

So not to fatten my tight curves,

And keep in shape for my prime male.

He runs around so fast somehow,

While he's pampering me a lot.

Yes, Hubby is this cat's meow.

On him I would not change a spot.

I am a gal with perfect guy,

Never cheetah on him would I.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

 My May Basket for Billy

Billy and I are in first grade,

And I really like him a lot.

A May basket for him I made.

Wild flowers and candies I got,

And put in a basket I had

From Easter, then on May first went

To Billy's home and I was glad

Billy was watching, cuz that meant

That when I leave the basket, he

Will show me that he likes me too,

By coming out and chasing me.

When that happens, here's what I'll do.

I run faster than Billy, so

When he chases me, I'll run slow.

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

 Mysterious Monk

Into a bakery I went,

And was surprised to find a monk,

Who chanted away as he spent

Time shaping donut dough to dunk

In deep fat to fry, and would pop

A done donut in his mouth too,

And eat, then chant, and did not stop,

As though on a mission to do.

I watched and I listened to him.

His chants be funny yet profound,

As doing donuts just a whim,

And to deeper meaning be bound.

The whimsical chants did inspire

Me, coming from this deep fat friar.

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

 Opposites Attract

The two met at a singles bar,

Quite an odd pairing more or less,

The mathematics quite bizarre,

Sum of it all, anyone's guess.

But these two seemed to hit it off.

After a few drinks there was chance

At least a one night stand, don't scoff!

Even become full blown romance.

Little in common had these two.

In different ways each came and went,

Their pluses and minuses grew,

Till last call, answer evident.

It's said that opposites attract,

Zero came of add and subtract.

Sense Sonnet - Acher

 Homesick

Through a good life we reached age of

Retirement and we moved to live

Deep in the woods we'd grown to love,

To the dream house we hoped would give

Us many years of joy and peace.

And for six years such was the case,

But suddenly it all did cease.

A raging wildfire we did face,

And were forced to evacuate,

Our dream home burned to the ground.

Much we cherished met ashes fate.

The two of us left homeless bound.

We decided not to return,

Worried a rebuilt home would burn.

Sense Sonnet - Acher

 The Sorry Arrow

As I flew through the air, I spied

Flying at me was an arrow,

A grave danger from which birds died,

And so a dive did this sparrow,

And this threat flew on harmlessly.

I watched it till it till flew into

The trunk of a giant oak tree.

I was curious, so I flew

Down and perched on the arrow shaft.

The arrow, stuck and feeling sad,

Cried lots while the oak tree just laughed.

The arrow had not made it mad.

I left, blaming the arrow not,

Not the arrow's fault it was shot.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

 With You

Without you, I know that I would

Be searching for someone like you,

Someone to fill my life with good,

To make me better think and do.

The thoughts and deeds that would be of

My heart and soul and mind to bring

All of the best to share our love,

Content that we be a sure thing.

Together, any time and place,

We can turn real our every dream.

And whatever future we face,

We'll do lovingly as a team.

The Mona Lisa do I be?

Then my da Vinci, you make me.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

 They Come and Go

I've stood in this same prairie spot,

As all of them do come and go.

And they have come and gone a lot.

First they were chasing buffalo.

Then in covered wagons they came

And went, but always some around.

Road and fencing, progress their aim.

I watch their planes fly from my ground.

Now I notice one of them who

Has stopped down on the road and is

Taking a picture, as they do.

Why? I don't know, none of my biz.

Still on this prairie spot I be,

As they come and go by this tree.

Sense Sonnet - Steamer

 Do Not Say Cheese

Last time I go on a blind date.

I got stuck with Monterrey Jack,

Who truly on my nerves did grate,

As he proceeded to unpack

Different cheeses to give me.

And with each cheese a come on line

Such as how gouda he could be,

A hunk of him could be all mine,

Then gave me some mozzerella.

Oh with him Miss me could not miss,

Hang out with such well hung fella,

Offering me a piece of swiss.

Cheesier date I never knew,

I left before I turned too blue.

Sense Sonnet - Chiller

 Villains Anonymous

My name is Hannibal and I

Am a villain for evil deeds

Done to the chain of food supply,

A picky gourmet with my needs.

Lots of criticism I've faced

For the method, my face I've fed.

And, yes, I face up to my taste

Being for fine folks now all dead.

But let me say that I do treat

With respect each victim of mine,

Prepare each carefully to eat.

This support group I find divine.

I want to thank this group a lot,

Please help yourself to snacks I brought.

Sense Sonnet - Steamer

 Poetic Justice

Executive order, guess who!

Making America  say no

To doing sonnets that I do.

Oh The Donald, say it ain't so.

Feelings no, facts and numbers yes.

For this sonneteer, heavy price

For commission, no due process,

I will be deported by ICE.

A call to arms, my pen in hand,

I'm gonna fight to my last breath.

A poet, I will make my stand.

Give me sonnets, or give me death.

I found a lib judge just in time,

Ruling in favor of my rhyme.

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

 When Giggles Get to be a Pain

It does not take too much for me

To get the giggles, and oft I

Get giggles in such frequency,

I cannot stop, hard as I try.

Thinking of stuff, scary or sad,

I think will get giggles to stop,

But no success with this I've had.

I giggle more as such thoughts flop.

My throat goes raw, my ribs do ache,

As I keep giggling on and on.

Amazing how much pain I take

In my giggling phenomenon.

When I get lots of giggle spurts,

Such frequency is giggle hurts.

Sense Sonnet - Chiller

 Hand Signal

Surfing in the ocean I be

Surf boardless underwater and

I see a shark is circling me.

So need to make it understand

That I am not a foe but friend.

And as a friend should get a pass.

A signal I do need to send,

Impress this shark and save my ass.

In "West Side Story" the sharks were

A gang and so I just need show

The right hand signal, and for sure

The shark, impressed, will let me go.

My bad, fatal mistake of mine,

I flipped the shark the wrong gang sign.

Sense Sonnet - Steamer

 Bite Blamed

The churches say that we both went

To heaven, both Adam and me,

Because both of us did repent

The original sin that be.

But if the truth be told, is that

Because I bit that apple first,

Thrown out of Eden habitat

Was all my fault, I was the worst

Sinner, and poor Adam tricked by

Awful me to take a bite too,

Deemed on high an innocent guy,

Victim of this bad I did do.

To heaven Adan went to dwell,

But I was told to go to hell.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

 Pope Francis

Pope Francis, thanks for being Pope.

Not a job that you wanted much,

But you took it and brought us hope

Of success with your common touch.

Saint Francis you took your name from,

Saint who loved the environment.

You too showed his love and wisdom

In the simple message you sent

That all of us need seek to find

Solutions to the problems that

Are caused nature by humankind.

Earth is our only habitat.

Please keep hope watching from above,

We'll make a  better world with love.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

 Bout

IPhone and Samsung in the ring,

And it was the championship match.

Good and bad vibes each did bring.

They both had baggage to attach,

Through years of competition had,

And they both had their fans worldwide,

Each heavyweight called good and bad.

Both had their secrets kept inside.

One wore white shorts, the other black,

Then faced each other in round one.

And then came the vicious attack.

The call was made, the bout was done.

Off Samsung's ear, IPhone did bite,

And the referee called the fight.

Sense Sonnet - Steamer

 Folks' Fault

Why can't I live somewhere else, I

Asked Mom and Dad when I was young.

I just got their frown in reply,

So on that subject, bit my tongue.

But it got me to thinking that

The folks pissed off powers that be,

Were sent to penal habitat,

And by bad luck, along came me.

A sentence for both their lives whole

Must have been given Mom and Dad,

With no chance of getting parole.

They must have done something real bad.

I'll check them out before next birth,

Make sure the folks are not on Earth.

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

 Chore No More

She passed away, my loving wife.

She had run the household so well.

But now these were chores of my life,

Be more aware of where I dwell.

In the kitchen she long cared for

A fern that hung over the sink.

So that seemed like an easy chore,

Giving the fern a weekly drink,

Which I did as many weeks passed.

One day my daughter did stop by.

As I did chores, she was aghast,

I watered the fern, she asked why.

My daughter's words did disenchant,

"Dad, that fern is a plastic plant."

Sense Sonnet - Steamer

 Keep Innovating

For centuries millions of us

Are sacrificed for holiday,

For a short time showed such a fuss,

Decorating us for display.

But then the innovating came

Up with nature copying plan.

The spectrum goes from look real aim

To looking weird, so quite a span.

And human innovation now

Could be replaced by the A.I.,

Innovating my kind to wow

Shoppers with wonders to supply.

Maybe safe from Christmas I be,

And live long life as a fir tree.

Sense Sonnet - Acher

 My Secret Window

Newly a teenager, I found

A secret window into me,

That once peeked into, I was bound

To sensing guilty ecstasy.

This secret window, now once shown,

A frequent place for me became

For throbbing pleasure never known,

And leaving me in panting shame.

Of course this secret I did find,

Not tell the folks was no debate.

I'd heard from Mom that I'd go blind

If I should ever masturbate.

Mom staring at me through the door,

My window a secret no more.

Sense Sonnet - Acher

 My Daddy Got "Sick"

I loved Daddy, we had such fun.

Sometimes he'd take me out of school,

Trip to the race track to be done.

Just don't tell Momma, was his rule.

Visit her sister, Momma would.

Daddy and I at home would be.

Daddy's friends from the neighborhood

Came for card games, and they'd let me

Watch them play, even stay up late.

Momma would yell at Daddy for

The "sickness" he had, I did hate

Having the folks fight more and more.

I still remember that sad day,

Our home, Daddy gambled away.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

 My Visitor

Archangel  Ariel did come

To visit me during a dream.

State of nature was worrisome

To her, destruction was extreme

By humankind, and so picked me

To represent the human view.

That since destructive, humans be,

What did I think heaven should do?

So truth to Ariel I told.

Humans would never change ways of

Destruction, and more would unfold.

Humans needed change from above.

Ariel told me she agrees,

Humankind should be turned to trees.

Sense Sonnet - Acher

 My Gluckschmerz

The ex and I got a divorce,

Had community property

Which in the settlement of course,

Went half to her and half to me.

But such property, all in all,

That in marriage we had acquired

Was not a lot, in fact quite small,

And for me left a lot desired.

The divorce was finalized, and

The very next day the ex won

The lottery, I understand

She is now a wealthy woman.

The ex has given me gluckschmerz.

The timing of her good luck hurts.

Sense Sonnet - Acher

 Sinking Ship

As an only child I did be

Spoiled rotten by both Mom and Dad.

Manipulating both by me

Was developed talent I had.

The hometown we lived in was dry,

But was quite close to the state line,

Which often the folks crossed to buy

Booze, both drunk a lot, which was fine

With me, made it easier to

Manipulate and get my way.

I admit that down deep I knew

Our lives were in disarray.

Slowly my family sunk down,

A sinking ship in a dry town.

Sense Sonnet - Acher

 Wall Flower

Wall flower I was as a teen,

Another term for introvert.

At school dances I would be seen,

But never asked to dance, which hurt.

To the dances I had to go,

Because Mom was a chaperone,

And said the more that there I'd show,

The more I'd dance, but sat alone.

Finally, Mom gave up on me,

But I still went just to spite her,

Miserable wall flower be.

Dances for me were hell for sure.

Alone with many in the room,

Wondering if I'd ever bloom.

Sense Sonnet - Acher

 The Blast from the Past

Seeing the eruption firsthand

Of a close volcano was such

Intense sensing to understand,

Happening so real and so much.

The fiery blast into the air,

In one sense a beautiful sight,

But at the same time, such a scare,

Immense of unfamiliar fright.

Explosive sound with burning smell,

Then taste and touch of ash there be.

All my senses focused on hell

That this was happening to me.

I was lucky, escape I got.

Sadly, others I heard did not.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

 For Cherry Blossom Petals

Cherry blossom petals, you were

Only for a brief time to live

In lovely splendor to occur.

In sight and scent, such joy to give

To all the many passersby

Who'd pause to take your wonder in,

As in breezes you fluttered high.

But then in nature's time comes when

The breezes took you from your place.

On final journey through the air,

Unknowing what grounding you'd face.

Please go with pride and not despair.

Fallen from having done duty,

Thanks from this grateful cherry tree.

Sense Sonnet - Steamer

 The Tigress

She walks by a construction site

Wearing the paint and costume of

A stunning tigress with delight

As a wild creature she does love.

Of course the many catcalls come

From the construction workers who

She dismisses as being dumb,

And so doing dumb stuff they do.

But then a couple of them be

Strutting over real close to her

In a manner menacingly.

They need to be dealt with for sure.

The tigress within stirs no doubt,

As her claws and her fangs come out.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

 Dreamer

It was such a beautiful day.

The bright sun was shining on me

In the garden, and I did play

Rolling the dice, then sleepy be.

So amid the flowers I found

A cozy soft spot on which I

Stretched comfortably on the ground,

To enjoy a little shuteye.

And in a dream in time and place,

I could see the sun up above,

Looking down with a smiling face,

Spraying my nap with rays of love.

It all started with rolling dice,

And now a garden nap, so nice.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

 This Tree of Life

The Sagole Baobab I be.

Muri kunguluwa, my name.

"Tree that roars" the humans call me,

Thanks to blowing wind for that fame.

Now largest baobab tree in

South Africa with my huge size,

A massive trunk with thick bark skin,

Share with all my water supplies.

And share my fruit and leaves as well

With visiting animals and

With animals who in me dwell.

All are welcome, no one is banned.

Humans in charge make humans pay

To visit me, what can I say!

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

 Nintendo DS

I, the Nintendo DS, be

The best handheld gaming console.

In year two thousand four came me,

Wider audience my main goal.

Hundred and fifty million sold

Of me stretching around the world,

So best selling title I hold

As hands on me are still unfurled.

The DS in my name stands for

Dual Screen, the LCD type, two,

A feature which gives gamers more

Interaction options to do.

I would still be the best no doubt,

Alas, Nintendo phased me out.

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

 Witness the Wild

At an outside vending machine

A masked bandit stared back at me.

Yes, caught red pawed at the crime scene.

Stuck inside there a racoon be.

However he got in, he did

Not seem to know how to get out.

Animal control came to rid

A thief, but how to go about?

So taken apart, piece by piece,

Of the machine had to be done.

At last opening for release,

Quickly out came the guilty one.

In his mouth, scurrying away,

A bag of Fritos on display.

Sense Sonnet - Acher

 Turned Out, Aren't You

You called me babe, and said ain't you

That I was looking for when I

Showed up suddenly one night to

Wish you well and to say goodbye.

But you didn't give me a chance

To tell you anything at all.

I listened to your song and dance

Through your window, that was your call.

And then it was my call to leave,

Cuz nothing left of us to save.

For a while after, I did grieve.

I'm over that, here at your grave.

You aren't the one I'm looking for,

Dead and buried forevermore.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

 Dire Wolf

The dire wolf did roam long ago

Across the Americas land,

Ferocious beast as white as snow,

Instinctive skill at its command

To be a hunter, quick and sure,

Chasing down prey, providing meat

For needed diet to secure

Giving strength for foes to defeat.

Extinction was the dire wolf fate.

Climate, humans, loss of prey,

Reasons the experts still debate

Why dire wolves are not here today.

But researchers have now made known

The dire wolf is back as a clone.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

 F.D.R.

Franklin D. Roosevelt did be

The only U.S. President

Elected to four terms was he

Through which hard times the U.S. went.

Great Depression then World War II,

Fear and suffering 'cross the land.

F.D.R. was a leader true,

Keeping hope under his command.

Through it all as his health declined

Most of the public did not know.

At last, to a wheelchair confined,

He still inspired by radio.

On Mount Rushmore the next to place,

President F.D.R.'s stone face!

Sense Sonnet - Acher

 Gamble

The black jack king or the red queen,

I had to choose one, teacher said.

The red or black, one choice between,

Like playing roulette, black or red.

That seems like a lifetime ago

When I had just started grade school.

Teacher said if I didn't know,

Then I'd be told by the school's rules.

And whatever choice to be made,

And that choice by the school enrolled,

It was a secret in school stayed,

And Mom and Dad could not be told.

Which one should win, which one should lose?

A six year old's gender to choose.

Sense Sonnet - Chiller

 The Sawed Off Shotgun

A sawed off shotgun, I'm made to

Kill as many as one blast can.

So laws exist supposed to be

Putting on using me a ban.

But of course I'm still sold and bought

By folks, including the mind ill,

Who have pent up their rage a lot,

And want me now to help them kill,

To pay back all those guilty them,

Killing mostly the innocent,

Collateral damage mayhem.

The payback message must be sent.

News about this sawed off shotgun

Will mean my damage has been done.

Sense Sonnet - Acher

 Given Away

His daughter, I walked down the aisle

Escorted by one, not my Dad.

A bride, I had a happy smile,

For me, not a day to be sad.

His daughter becoming a wife,

But my Dad could not escort me.

He was not present in my life,

A substitute needed to be.

A fateful happening was why,

That Dad could not be at my side.

Good organs were donated by

Him long ago when Dad died.

But at my wedding, Dad was part,

In my escort, Dad's beating heart.

Sense Sonnet - Steamer

 My Muppet Mood

I woke up in a Muppet mood,

And of course was Kermit the Frog.

But the wife thought I was quite rude

When at breakfast in dialogue

With the wife I referred to her

As Miss Piggy, and would she please

Make me crisp bacon, which for sure

Put her in a mood of deep freeze.

"Stop acting like a diva," I

Said, which got her starting to shout.

Though calming her down I did try,

Really out of joint was her snout.

In the funny farm I now be,

Becuz the wife kermitted me.

Sense Sonnet - Chiller

 I Have Friends Too

I guess I thought I was rid of

You, and the two of us were through.

But now my hate and not my love

I feel for crappy stuff you do.

Like showing up drunk as a skunk

At my party, acting bad so

I'd be embarrassed that you'd sunk,

Even for you, to a new low.

So for one last time let me say

Elimination will be had

If any more you're in my way.

I have friends too, in places bad.

With your friends in low places you'll be

Buried down in the graveyard by me.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

 Luck of the Draw

Lucky to be alive be said

By me because alternative

That waits for me is to be dead.

Between these two, I'm glad I live.

There are sometimes I wonder why

I was a chosen one to be

Born, and not another, but I

Happened to win this lottery.

Had I not been born, would I know

Somebody else was born instead,

Somebody else is living so

Is the lucky one until dead?

Of course when dead, I hope I get

To be somebody else born yet.