Sense Sonnet - Tickler

Pet peeve

You just up and push me away
From a perfectly good leg hump.
Others smell farts - 'twas me you say.
We both know their true source of rump.
At last you take me for a walk.
I do my biz in my own time,
But all you do is watch the clock,
Longer I take, bigger the crime.
When I sniff the crotches of guests,
Lame apologies you do make.
Is it my fault I've failed in quests
To master a proper handshake?

Just some pet peeves this dog has got.
Humans do peeve this dog a lot.