Sense Sonnet - Acher

Death Penalty Penalty

My job is as a prison guard.
A condemned man was set to die.
Executions are always hard
By lethal injection, and why
Is because most doctors won't be
There to assist, on moral grounds.
Thus, death is done improperly
By guards like me. Havoc abounds -
Like when the condemned in this case
Was full of poison, but awake.
Agony was all in his face.
I shot him dead, for mercy's sake.

Though what I did may be a crime.
I had to do it at the time.

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

Are You Happy, Strom?

Pew, that nonpartisan fact tank
Has done a "happy" study, and
Concludes from its data bank
Who's the happiest in the land.
He's old, male and Republican -
Strom Thurmond if he were alive.
But, to be a most happy one,
Nothing in the Pew happy jive
Said that living was a required.
So maybe Pew dug ol' Strom up,
And happy stuff of him inquired.
Maybe his jawbone crackled, "Yup."

Just ignore this P.U. Pew stat
Says this young, female Democrat.

Sense Sonnet - Steamer

Rotten Deal

Shortly after my husband died,
His golf membership came due.
But no matter how hard I tried
To cancel, I had to renew.
The club insisted death did not
Cancel a member's need to pay
All dues that the club did allot.
The contract was worded that way.
While my pending lawsuit drags out,
I dug my husband up, and had
His body delivered. No doubt
His club thinks that I am so bad.

His locker is hubby's new tomb,
Inside the clubhouse locker room.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

A Pictures's Worth...

The first day that my babe was born,
I took a picture for to keep
Of that special moment that morn -
That special bundle fast asleep.
Each day after, I took a pic
Of the little one, randomly.
I certainly did get a kick
Out of catching my sweet baby
In an instant forever shown.
My excitement just never quit
In the most perfect child I've known.
I am biased on that a bit.

A pic a day is what I took.
Twelve years later - a thick pic book.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

Sense Sonnet - Chiller

Dad Did Bad

Campbell's Soup could spare a few bucks.
I know. They got a lot from me.
I needed money. My life sucks.
So I acted desperately.
I put a lot of toxic stuff,
Like lighter fluid was just one,
Into the soup. It was no bluff.
And then I fed it to my son,
And my daughter, till they got sick.
I contacted Campbell's and said
They needed to pay up real quick.
Their soup could have made my kids dead.

I know that what I did was bad.
I hope my kids won't hate their Dad.

Sense Sonnet

145664

Being torn down was a brick wall,
Old but now a part of the new.
Within the rubble of it all
Was found a paper, put into
A glass bottle. Written thereon,
Number 145664.
Put there in a time now long gone,
Sometime in the second World War
When Nazis ran the Aushwitz camp;
A prisoner left a lasting trace.
Put there in a hole, dark and damp,
That evil would not win this place.

It was a time of hellish harm.
That tattoo still is on my arm.

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

Turtle Recall

A turtle was strolling alone.
He spied a gang of snails nearby.
They yelled in a threatening tone,
"We're gonna get you - big shell guy."
The turtle tried to get away,
But the snail gang caught up with him,
Twelve hours later in the day,
And beat him sorely, scale and limb.
The next day, the snail gang had gone.
Cops found the turtle on his back.
They asked the turtle what went on,
During the snails' vicious attack.

The turtle sighed, then said at last,
"I don't know. It happened so fast."

Sense Sonnet - Steamer

Modern Aesop

In the Aesop fable of old,
The Ant worked hard and lived life well.
The Grasshopper got left out cold,
For lazily loafing like hell.
But today in the welfare state,
The fable would not end the same.
More taxes would be the Ant's fate.
The successful Ant would get blame
For the Grasshopper being poor.
Politicians would make sure that
Ant gets less, Grasshopper gets more.
Aesop is now a bureaucrat.

The Ant broke, can't get welfare.
The Grasshopper thrives in Bel Air.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

Coast Guard Dude

I was walking along the beach
With my surfboard, looking for waves.
A shark and a kangaroo, each
I could see. As a shark behaves,
I knew the roo needed some aid.
So with board, I swam to the roo.
The roo got on the board and stayed.
Together, we surfed the big blue,
And left that shark for other snack.
Though an odd couple surfing pair,
We slid to the beach, safely back,
An adventure worthy to share.

We both escaped being shark bait,
One surfer bum and his roo mate.

Sense Sonnet - Chiller

Patent Patient

I applied for a patent for
My plan for a computer chip,
Which would put me on the ground floor
Of future high tech ownership.
The chip would be implanted in
Any one the government deems
Might get under the government's skin,
For real or in Big Brother's dreams.
And if and when the implantee
Does something anti-government,
Cyanide poisoning would be
Released, and death would be instant.

This time my patent was denied,
But really time is on my side.

Sense Sonnet - Acher

Feeling Helpless

Being a Mom is hard enough,
But my Jimmy acts like a girl,
And out there gets a lot of guff.
Taunts anf teases the kids do hurl.
Sometimes Jimmy comes home in tears,
And doesn't understand why he
Is picked on with the shoves and jeers.
My hugs help temporarily.
Being the control freak I am,
I want to change Jiimmy into
A manly lion, not a lamb,
So he could act like I would do.

I grew up a tomboy. No doubt,
Mess with me and I'd punch you out.

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

When You Have Kids...

God created Adam and Eve,
And told them not to eat the fruit.
But the kids could not just believe
That any rule was absolute.
So they picked apples from the tree,
To see how far they could push
God's envelope. They soon did see
An irritated burning bush.
"Naughty naughty," they heard God scold.
"We're not to blame," they both did whine.
"Yes, you need some lo and behold,"
God said, "To know the pain of mine."

"You need some kids, then you'll know why."
"So you go forth and multiply."

Sense Sonnet - Steamer

Buy Gum

I am janitor at a school
That was convinced to make a move.
Kids should chew more gum. That's the rule,
Because it makes math scores improve.
Repetitious moves of the jaw
Stimulates that part of the brain
That figures out math - blah, blah, blah.
All that hype just gives me a pain.
I tell you it's a heap of crap.
And where did this study come from,
With all these esperts' gums aflap?
It was funded by Wrigley Gum.

The gum the little Einsteins' chew,
I get to scrape the residue!

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

Auroch

My ancestors roamed long ago.
Nothing dared mess much with my kind.
But something happened. I don't know.
The numbers of us just declined,
Until at last we were extinct.
Cave dwellers drawing on rock wall
Of us were all that was left linked,
Till Hermann Goering got the call
To back breed us back to the now
Through genetic engineering.
Once more, the massive auroch cow
Roams the countryside, bullying.

Humans today need be redone.
I bet cave folks were much more fun.

Sense Sonnet - Chiller

American Died All

American Idol was on,
And the segment was almost done,
When happened a phenomenon,
As Simon's mouth was on a run.
Then Paula seemed to fall asleep,
Followed by everyone there.
Unconsciousness throughout did sweep
The entire sound stage. A nightmare
For contestants, judges and crew
And the live audience - now dead.
Later it was found, gas did do
Them all in - unknown how it spread.

Of course the network aired the show.
It's about ratings - doncha know?

Sense Sonnet - Acher

Deprived

Two ladies in a nursing home,
One has a lot of family,
But dementia has made her roam
Away from all reality.
She has visitors all the time,
But does not know that they are there.
The other lady - alert prime,
But has no one who seems to care.
Yearning for visitors to come,
Loneliness is the only one,
Day after day, just more lonesome.
Both are shut off from any fun.

One is in a world of her own,
The other in this world alone.

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

Given Up

Chewin' tobacco since a kid,
It's like a normal part of me.
Chewin' while doin' all I did,
'Cept while I was sleepin', maybe.
I slipped into a life of crime,
Stealin' stuff from others that had.
Was a good livin' for a long time,
Till DNA turned it all bad.
Testin' my spit from the crime scene
Pointed cops right to me and mine.
The prison warden is real mean.
No tobacco - the bottom line.

Who woulda thought that my damn spit
Would git me into such deep shit?

Sense Sonnet - Steamer

Lost Appetite

A friend called and told me to see
A Dominoe's Pizza You Tube -
Pizza workers wanting to be
Each immortalized as a boob,
Could be seen spitting into the pies,
Rubbing their noses in the dough.
I could hardly believe my eyes.
Attention getting knows no low.
I'm sure Dominoe's not to blame,
And these workers will get the ax.
But it still hurts the pizza name
With such gross viewings to the max.

My husband thought he was so sweet,
Bringing home Dominoe's to eat.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

Jiang Qing

Mao Zedong - he was a great man.
I was his third wife and I know.
I helped him carry out his plan
For power of China to grow.
The Cultural Revolution,
As Madame Mao, I made my mark.
Mao knew I was the only one
He could trust in the hierarch.
I knew that after Mao had died,
I'd be attacked by the absurds.
So I committed suicide,
And left my Mao these last words,

"Mao, it is time I leave this life."
"Here comes your loyal, loving wife."

Sense Sonnet - Chiller

Could It Happen?

Chaos came at the Pentagon.
The call went to the President.
A subversive phenomenon
Triggered a red alert event.
Computer systems went haywire,
That were the first line of defense.
The situation was quite dire.
Programs only sputtered nonsense.
Maybe missiles were on their way
From enemies, or maybe not.
To be or not to be the day
Of Armegeddon striking hot.

Who brought us to defenseless doom? -
A teenage hacker in her room.

Sense Sonnet - Acher

Departing

My Mom had not been feeling good.
We only have each other, so
I tried to do all that I could
To make her feel better. I know
I'm just a kid, but Mom needs me.
By now she should be waking up.
I am taking her some tea.
She's still sleeping. I put the cup
On her nightstand and turn, and there
Stands Mom, saying don't be afraid.
But she must go away somewhere.
And then Mom starts to slowly fade.

"I love you," my Mom said,
Then vanished. I knew she was dead.

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

Believe In

An athiest fell in the sea
As a shark was swimming nearby.
The athiest cried, "God save me."
"You don't believe." was God's reply.
This was fact, the athiest knew,
So he asked God about the shark.
"The shark is a believer true."
Answered God in impatient bark.
The shark nodded in agreement,
As he circled the athiest,
Who wasn't sure what it all meant.
But then the shark prayed him the gist.

"Thank God for the food, I believe,"
"That I am about to receive."

Sense Sonnet - Steamer

Name Recognition

I hung out my shingle to be
A criminal lawyer for real.
I never lost a case you see -
A natural in jury spiel.
Some sour grapes DA did check
My background and credentials out.
No law license - so what the heck.
In the courtroom there was no doubt,
I was a legal mastermind.
In my own trial I did prevail.
Not guilty the jury did find.
But the mean judge sent me to jail.

I should not be the one to blame,
Since Perry Mason is my name.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

A Tree Grows In...

I opened up the patient's chest,
Expecting cancer in his lung.
Instead, I never could have guessed.
In the tissue a tree had sprung;
A pine tree to be more exact.
I guess the guy inhaled a seed
That lodged just so inside the tract,
And sprouted right there, yes indeed!
The patient was in pain, no doubt,
And was fearing the very worst.
I excised all the tree parts out.
The operation was a first.

The patient should recover fine.
Of course, I could not save the pine.

Sense Sonnet - Chiller

From Space

Being in the space station crew
Has given me so much insight
Into the Earth I never knew,
Until I viewed it from this height.
Up here, time has flown by so fast.
It seems like the crew just arrived.
But all these many months have passed,
And good knowledge has been derived.
Next week the mission will be done.
We will return to life on Earth.
I will go back a better one,
To treasure life for all it's worth.

All communications go dead.
Then the entire planet turns red.

Sense Sonnet - Acher

Last Memory

My Daddy was the sheriff, so
He kept safe our little town,
Until the day not long ago,
Outlaws rode in about sundown.
They dragged my Daddy to the square,
Got set to hang him from a tree.
The outlaw leader took me there,
And said that it was up to me.
If I shot that hanging rope, then
All the outlaws would ride away.
I took the gun and aimed it, when
My Daddy said it was okay.

I tried to shoot the rope, instead,
Through tears, I shot my Daddy dead.

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

Asked and Answered

Little Timmy was in his yard,
Burying something in a hole,
Patting down the dirt firm and hard,
And looking so sad, heart and soul.
His next door neighbor happened by,
And asked him if he was okay.
Timmy said his goldfish did die,
And he had buried it away.
The neighbor said that was too bad,
And then remarked the grave seemed big
For just a fish. He asked the lad
Why such a big hole he did dig.

Timmy replied with his last pat,
"Because it's inside of your cat."

Sense Sonnet - Steamer

Gaysayers

The homophobes say that I'm gay,
And that I'll never procreate.
If these closed minded have their way,
Homelessness may be my fate.
I like to hang out with the guys,
And I'm nervous around the gals.
From this the gaybashers surmise
I must be gay. Their rationales
Are just full of crap, to be blunt.
It isn"t till age 14 that
Sex kicks in for an elephant.
Age 10 is where this trunker's at.

Some have nothing better to do
Than pick on babies at the zoo.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

To Greater Lengths

At five foot one, I was too short
For a political career.
So as a needed last resort,
I did what some may think severe.
Both of my legs were broken by
Doctors, who then did stretch them out.
Slowly over time, and then I
Was now five foot four thereabout.
It did wonders for self esteem.
I won a city council seat.
This new height lets me have my dream.
Stature in politics is sweet.

For higher office, I might run -
Maybe stand tall in Air Force One.

Sense Sonnet - Chiller

Out of the Blue

It just happened out of the blue.
People dropped dead of unknown cause.
Was it some kind of weird, new flu?
All world wide were grasping at straws.
Of course the panic was widespread.
One moment a person was fine,
Next moment that person was dead,
And in between there was no sign.
Then through information sharing,
Authorities found a surprise.
There was in common just one thing,
That all of the dead had blue eyes.

I've got blue eyes and all the scare
Of wondering just when and where.