Sense Sonnet - Tickler

 The Legendary Laundry Chair

The Legendary Laundry Chair,

Ergonomically made design

To forget any laundry care

While in this chair you do recline.

You know you hate the laundry chore,

So in this chair you're guaranteed

To forget laundry evermore,

And with no shame or guilt indeed.

When your dirty laundry is aired

You continue relaxing well,

For Legendary Laundry Chaired

You will have lost your sense of smell.

With this chair you're laundry free champ.

This chair is your own nudist camp.

Sense Sonnet - Acher

 What Happened to Ichabod Crane?

"The Legend of Sleepy Hollow,"

What happened to Ichabod Crane?

Well, I'm here to tell so all know.

Being hit by the severed head

As the headless horseman rode by,

Into the marsh Ichabod fled,

Slowly sank in the mud to die.

All a prank played on him, I knew.

So superstitious was this fool,

But there was nothing I could do.

Don't butt in human stuff, my rule.

Why do I know? Cuz I'm of course

Gunpowder, Ichabod's borrowed horse.

Sense Sonnet - Chiller

 Thoughtful Me

In Saul Bellow's book, "Herzog," I

Read, "One thought, a murder a day,"

(I think how to make the wife die.)

"Keeps the psychiatrist away."

With poison or knife, rope or gun,

Or make it look an accident.

So many ways, murder be done

The wife by me with ill intent.

Which way will be my final choice?

On that I have much time to think.

But later, cuz I hear that voice,

I'm scheduled to meet with the shrink.

Why think of doing the wife in?

She stuck me in this loony bin.

Sense Sonnet - Acher

 Curse on Clio

Clio, Greek muse of history

Criticized Aphrodite for

Loving handsome Adonis, he

Merely a mortal man was poor

As choice by the goddess of love,

So Clio felt needed be told.

For Aphrodite hearing of

This, was insulted and turned cold

Toward Clio, and cursed the muse with

A punishment that Clio would 

Fall in love oft, as goes the myth,

None of her loves to turn out good.

Clio was cursed for all time span

To only love a mortal man.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

 Leaves Sing All Season

Autumn's frail and fluttering leaves

Blown from their trees in wind's wild way

Will not bemoan such fate with grieves,

But will accept as truth today,

That autumn is leaves' time and place

For another life cycle end,

Season for their maturing grace,

Taking leave, waving with the wind.

But knowing that through winter's rest

The leaves will reemerge next spring

Upon their trees in budding blessed,

And once again their joy to bring.

Autumn leaves will leave with no sorrow,

Return joyful spring leaves tomorrow.

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

 Stuck

Mom was driving me to the mall,

Told me to get in the car,

While she finished up a phone call.

It was hot as August days are,

So sitting in the front seat, I

Pushed the button on the door to

Open the window to supply

Cool air and stretched my head out through,

Hit the same button with my knee,

Raising the window so that I'm

Stuck, yelling for Mom helplessly,

Which seemed to me forever time.

As Mom behind me got me out,

I could hear her giggle no doubt.

Sense Sonnet - Chiller

 My Brain in a Jar

Only reason I married her,

She owned a bar and I could booze

For free and the wife learned for sure,

Wed, I did win and she did lose.

She knew no way would I divorce,

As I drank her profits away.

So to get rid of me of course

She poisoned me, then did filet

My body into hor d'oeuvres for

Her bar patrons at no expense,

Who all gobbled me down galore,

Getting rid of the evidence.

On a shelf right behind the bar

Is my pickled brain in a jar.

Sense Sonnet - Acher

 To Hell in a Handbasket

To me Momma often would tell

That I was living my life such,

For sure I was heading for hell.

Momma's warnings did not mean much

To me as I lived a death wish

That hell my afterlife would be,

Cuz I was just so devilish,

The devil'd surely welcome me.

I did cry so when Momma died,

Cuz knew we'd ever be apart,

She in heaven and in hell I'd

Be, knowing I broke Momma's heart.

I'll go like Marie Antoinette,

Head to hell in a handbasket.