Sense Sonnet - Tickler

 Aces Up My Sleeve

I got home from poker quite late,

And of course Wifey was upset.

I heard an earful from my mate

On always losing when I bet,

Which was my cue to tell her pack

Her stuff and move to Herbert's house.

Then Wifey really blew her stack,

When told I bet her as my spouse,

When all of my money gave out.

Luck of the draw, Herbert won her.

Wifey was furious no doubt,

Even though I tried to assure,

"The hand I had," Wifey I told,

"Just four aces, so had to fold."

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

 Count Chocula

Hungry for a midnight snack, I

Went to the kitchen and found that

Above the table there did fly

A very large red eyed black bat.

Suddenly showed up a box of

Count Chocula cereal which

As a kid  I really did love

To eat, my recall did bewitch

Me to get a bowl, what the heck,

Opened the box, began to pour.

But then felt a bite on my neck.

And I collapsed onto the floor.

Count Chocula had bitten me,

Cereal killer victim be.

Sense Sonnet - Chiller

 Facelift

Depending on the day of week,

I assign a look for my face.

Mad, scared, puzzled, happy, I seek.

Bored, amused or sad I do place

To wear each particular day.

When not in use, other masks be

Hung upon a wall for display,

Until each is needed by me.

I collect each face mask with skill,

And wear it until it wears out.

For each replacement, I do kill

Someone with such a face, no doubt.

I see a happy face on you,

And so your facelift I will do.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

 Grateful for Now

I only know what I know now.

I do not know what is ahead.

I do not know the when and how

I leave my life and join the dead.

This life began, this life will end.

Each day I try to live life well,

And I am helped by my best friend,

Always with me and I can tell

Jesus whatever's on my mind,

And on my heart and on my soul,

Knowing Jesus is true and kind,

And helps me keep good as my goal.

I know when on my deathbed be,

Jesus, my friend will be with me.

Sense Sonnet - Chiller

 Her Enigmatic Smile

Very often I told her of

Feeling Cupid's arrow striking me,

And causing me to fall in love

With her, and hearing this then she

Would smile at me in such a way

As to be puzzling for sure

As to what she meant to portray

In feeling truly felt by her.

Then one day we walked in the wood,

She said the two of us must part.

With bow and arrow, her shot was good,

Just like Cupid, into my heart.

Even dying, what did beguile

Me was her enigmatic smile.

Sense Sonnet - Chiller

 Ongoing Viral

There are a few of humankind

Who wish to dominate the world,

And be of such an evil mind,

Creating virus to be hurled

Upon rest of humanity,

First making sure these evil few

Are immunized so as to be

Safe from vast death each virus do.

These evil few of course aware

Varied virus will be required,

Each time killing a greater share

Of humans to reach goal desired.

Wave after wave of virus more

Killing more humans than before.

Sense Sonnet - Steamer

 In Line

Waiting in line is a time sure

I dislike, especially so

When by myself and must endure

All strangers by me I don't know.

Of course the slowest cashier be

In whatever line I do choose.

All customers in front of me

Find any reason to abuse

My patience, as all other lines

I watch do promptly move along,

But on me my line has designs

To make my stay so meanly wrong.

Waiting in line, ill fate has sewn

Me into hell and all alone.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

 What If Romeo...?

Thinking that Juliet was dead,

Romeo started back to her,

But took a fall and hit his head,

Causing him amnesia for sure.

He ended up in Tuscany,

Wearing a funny yellow wig,

Looking like cornmeal mush so he

Is teased a lot, but starts a gig

As a woodcarver, skilled but poor.

Perhaps as puppeteer he could

Be happier with money more.

He finds the perfect piece of wood.

Past Romeo, now Geppetto,

Carves wood into Pinocchio.

Sense Sonnet - Tickler

 Thanks to Our Cult

A California cult we be

To save the state from the "big one."

That is our cult mentality,

And so far success has been done.

Along the San Andreas zone

All earthly possessions we throw,

Everything valuable we own,

Deep down into the earth cracks go.

And for so long as we do this,

Major earthquakes on this fault line

Have not occurred, a state of bliss,

Thanks to sacrifice to divine.

San Andreas god we exalt,

And are generous to a fault.

Sense Sonnet - Steamer

 Tradition at My Peril

Thanksgiving traditional meal

Has long included turkey, so

This year to make it seem more real

Off for a wild bird I did go,

Like those first Pilgrims must have done.

And so I trekked into the wood,

Aimed at a turkey with my gun,

Shot, but missed, and before I could

Fire again, that bird flew at me.

Shocked, I dropped the gun on the ground,

Which then caused its firing to be,

And hitting my leg with the round.

What's on the tray rattles my nerves,

Turkey meal the hospital serves.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

 They Found Me

"Rafflesis hasseltii," I hear

An excited human voice yell,

Then see a group of them come near

My rainforest vined home, oh well,

They seem  a harmless human sort,

Long searching for one of my kind.

What the heck! I'll be a good sport

As they take pictures, I don't mind.

They happened to catch me in bloom,

Which about once a year I do.

Their shedding of tears I assume

Is that I am their dream come true.

Rotting meat smell, part of my fame,

So Corpse Flower is my nickname.

Sense Sonnet - Chiller

 Unneighborly

With a purple cap and green shades,

I noticed him when he moved in

The abandoned shack in my glades.

I took a liking to his skin.

So I waited till he came out

And got into his small rowboat.

In the water I came about,

Grabbed him sitting above, afloat.

A good neighbor I know I'm not,

And now this poor guy knows it too,

As he gave all his skin, a lot,

Very tasty, just as I knew.

This gator made a meal of him,

Took boat and cap and shades on whim.

Sense Sonnet - Pumper

 Momma Wolf Spider

Momma wolf spider knows the drill,

Raising her young she's on her own.

After mating, she made with skill

The egg sac with her eggs now sown

With the seed of the now gone mate.

The egg sac made silken and round

On her tummy, Momma does want

For her young'uns to be hatched bound.

Even after hatching, young stay

On her tummy a week or two,

Cheering on as Momma hunts prey.

Lots of good care Momma does do.

And after while when the young'uns go,

Momma's off looking for a new beau.

Sense Sonnet - Steamer

 The Lady

The Lady's been for a long time,

And now she's hundreds of years old,

Always anxious to help those climb

To heaven if they pay her gold.

She is not so blatant with this

As in the Middle Ages be,

But selling her heavenly bliss

Is still the favorite way that she

Assures her fans that more they give

Her the more likely they will go

Up her stairs to heaven to live.

After all, who is gonna know!

Stairway trip the Lady does sell,

Stepping to heaven or to hell?