Sense Sonnet - Pumper

 His Words for Me

"Hideous figure" I was deemed

By Mr. Dickens in his tale.

But this author, it seemed to me,

Was attracted to this female,

Calling me best care for headache,

Prevented hair from turning gray,

The best means for closest shave sake,

Changed complexion in my own way.

Mr. Dickens wrote of much wine

Served daily to the many who

Came to watch the kisses of mine

To those my sharp wit cut into.

To Mr. Dickens I did be

La Guillotine, which suited me.