Sense Sonnet - Acher

Piles of History

I could not sit astride my horse.
The hemorrhoid pain was just too fierce.
So first hand, I knew not the course
Of how badly the foe did pierce
Through my troops. For if I had seen,
I'm sure I would have turned the tide
To victory. Yes, Josephine,
Oh how I wish I'd gone astride
My horse, no matter what the pain,
And rallied from my saddleseat.
But, I did not. I wish in vain.
Waterloo went down in defeat.

I, Napoleon Bonaparte,
My pained piles made for a pained heart.