Sense Sonnet - Chiller

Urges

Sometimes I wish that I'd get caught;
But no such wishing at the time
When I get that craving thought
To have a kid - to hell the crime.
I know that I have no excuse.
Studies of child molesters say
That many suffered child abuse.
For me, it did not go that way.
In my late teens, I gave into
Those feelings that dogged me inside;
Carefully planning what to do
To get what a kid can provide.

Doing sex with a kid is wrong.
But, the urges are just too strong.